My relationship is a mess; we don't communicate; he doesn't care about me; I catch him in lies, etc. We have a mortage that we share with my parents and we have an 8-year old son who is being affected by our bad relationship.
This morning I told him it was over but left it open to after Christmas to make the finalized plans. He just got up and we carried on about the day mostly normal. He doesn't want to talk about it or want to change my mind.
He has always said in the past if he leaves he will not give us a dime in terms of child payment. Has even said he would quit his job so I couldn't get anything. I don't want his money anyway I can make my own but how do I deal with the mortgage? He also won't leave the house because he says it's his too. I feel like I should just take my son and go to a shelter just to get away from him but then that would leave my parents stuck with him. He drives truck and is away all week so at least there would be relief for them. Advice?
2006-12-23 15:44:02 · 11 answers · asked by dyamismom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to a lawyer immediately to find out what you legal rights are. You do have them. Then plan accordingly. Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself and your son.
He may have to leave and may not have a choice in the matter. My advice about the house? Sell it and divide the assets and be rid of him. You can obtain a court order to force the sale of the house. He can't stop it unless he plans to buy out you and your parents at fair market value.
Do NOT leave the house. Possession is still 9/10's of the law and if he is there and you are not this can negatively affect your legal rights. And for goodness sakes don't follow the advice of the first answerer who said not to make the mortgage payments. That will negatively affect you and your parents' credit ratings and force the bank to repossess. BAD IDEA!!!! You will not get the full value of the house as you would with a regular sale.
Go to a divorce attorney and start making plans for your future right away. Right after Christmas. Don't tell him what you are doing. I highly doubt he will quit his job. Even if he does, if the child is his he is still obligated to support the child. As a truck driver he can be expected to get a job since there are a shortage of truck drivers now a days. He won't get out of child support that easily.
Don't just take what he says as gospel. Of course he's going to try to intimidate you. Don't buy it sister. Seek an attorney as soon as possible!
2006-12-23 16:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right off, not wanting his own child to be provided for makes him a winner. Child support laws are a little too strict to just quit your job. The courts will now MAKE you work, on the books, and he will pay. As for the house, you need to be doing some quick discusssing with your folks. Don't let them catch word of this somewhere else and freak (if that is at all a possibility). But don't leave them "stuck" with him. You will get the house anyway. And just for the no child payment comment, stick his favorite coffee mug beside a fire hydrant or other common urinal for wandering K9s, then be a good wife and fix your hard working hubby a cup of coffee in the A.M. .................... Good Luck, and stay strong. It will will feel a lot better soon..........
2006-12-24 00:02:02 · answer #2 · answered by hudson_floridamale 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Sorry to hear bout your situation. If you are not communicating and he doesn't seem to care about what is going on then my thoughts are you already are on your own. Just because he is there physically doesn't mean he is there mentally. It is tough to go through something like this this time of year but if the relationship is affecting you child it is time to do something. If you tell him you are going to leave after the holidays then do it don't just say it because then he wont believe you. You ever heard the saying if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't then it never was.?? Well sometimes men need to realize what they have and they do once it's gone. And about the child support thing if you do take him to court than he has to pay. Even if he is not working and he was earning say $20.00 per hour than the court will make him look for a job around that pay area and then he will pay accordingly. I went through that with my ex and since he was able to work the court made him!! I hope you find this advise helpful. Keep Smiling:)
2006-12-23 23:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by luvbeingatwin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consult legal representation. Search for a good on who believes the issues of abuse. Turning Point and other Domestic viloence agencies are your greatest resources. Rat hole as much money , his if possible . He will drag things out forever. Mine is 2 1/2 years and still going.
2006-12-24 00:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by Carla W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If possible, try to have a civilized separation, as rare as it is, it will make everyone's life easier. Get a mediation attorney and go through what needs to be agreed on for the divorce, be reasonable and move on with your life.
2006-12-24 00:14:36 · answer #5 · answered by Good_Enough 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your parents get a lawyer and get that child support and see what you can do about that mortage. Good luck.
2006-12-23 23:47:52 · answer #6 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him and get child support..
He can quit his job but he will soon get hungry and
have to go back to work...
He will have to live homeless for the rest of his life to avoid paying.
2006-12-23 23:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask your parents not to pay the mortgage either so your house will be sold on the market and you can split the profit with him. get a good attorney and make him pay the child alimony.
2006-12-23 23:47:23 · answer #8 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get Legal advice.....judges dont take kindly to men who quit their jobs to get out of supporting their children.....dont let him manipulate you with his threats.....You cant have a relationship with someone who is not willing to participate....
2006-12-24 00:57:48 · answer #9 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should contact a lawyer and find out how you can get out of this, you are going to have to take legal action -- he sounds like a real ***---
2006-12-23 23:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by Tajay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋