my mom provides the essentials and all (food, shelter, whatever else we may need/want) but she's just a terrible person and a bad mother. you can't talk to her about anything serious, and she's very oppressive. she's a control freak and abusive. she's my mom though and i can't help but love her. i just can't be expected to live under her rule and pretend to be happy. she's the type that expects me to take care of her in old age and all, but i just don't think she deserves it, and frankly, i don't want that type of burden. i'm seventeen now, and i've got to start thinking about my own life and college and all. i don't want to get rid of her, but i don't want her ruining my life anymore.
anyone else with this issue or with advice?
2006-12-23 15:23:13 · 11 answers · asked by tanj 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
by the way.. i'm specifically looking for ways to deal with my MOM... not life. already got that figured out.
2006-12-23 15:28:08 · update #1
my does have the tendency to physically abuse me. she's is not an understanding person. like i've said, she's a control freak, and doesn't like listening to reason, she prefers things to go her way, her way only.
i just want to know how i should deal with her after i leave... i don't want her to be hurt or anything, and i just want to be able to live my life without her being a constant obstacle.
2006-12-23 15:35:14 · update #2
hmmm...I'm in a similar situation. Although I am 24, and I've been out of her house since I was 18. She recently got remarried, and basically wants nothing to do with her kids and grandkids. She has turned into this cold woman. Not at all like she used to be. It hurt at first, and still does, but I've just accepted that this is her, and I am friendly with her. But thats where I leave it. I focus on my own life and family, and if she wants to be a positive part, fine, if not, her loss. Your mom will always be your mom. It doesn't mean you owe her the world. (on another note, maybe try to figure out why she is so angry. maybe its just stress, or maybe she thinks that you don't want a relationship with her. Try talking to her first)
2006-12-23 15:28:22 · answer #1 · answered by redsox fan 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I need more information. How, exactly, is your mother oppressive? How is she abusive? If she is actually hitting you, then that is abuse. You should speak to an adult you trust about it, such as an older family member, an adult from church or school, etc. Maybe that person can go with you to speak with your mom about your concerns. She may be depressed and need medication. You may be a typical 17 year old (I was one myself and couldn't WAIT to move out and go to college so I could get away from my parents!) who wants her freedom and feels her mother is 'oppressive' even though she is really just parenting you. There could be lots of different things going on and you haven't given enough information. Quite honestly, I don't think this is the place to be seeking help. Talk to an adult you trust -- someone your mom knows and is comfortable with, preferably -- and get things rolling that way. I really hope it all works out for you.
2006-12-23 15:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, fortunately you only have to deal with it until you are eighteen. Try to get her to listen to you and explain how you are feeling. If she won't listen to you, maybe you could have a family friend talk to her. If she is physically abusing you though, you may want to call the cops. Once you move out, your relationship will get much better.
Good Luck
2006-12-23 15:29:06 · answer #3 · answered by r_finewood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your best bet is to try to work things out with your mother. A mother/daughter relationship is special and irreplaceable. Perhaps you mom doesn't know how much she hurts you, and you need to tell her. It could all just be a terrible misunderstanding.
I too did not get along with my mother in my teen years (I'm not sure if any daughter does). But my mom and I are now the best of friends. I don't want you to miss out on that, its a great relationship with many, many rewards. Having your mother around on special occasions (i.e. wedding, having your babies) makes the moment very special!
Please try to talk to her and work things out. Happy holidays!
2006-12-23 15:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok then well get a part time job get a collage scholiship and get out of there when you have you carreer and life call her and then try and sort things out even if it in 4 yrs time or keep contact just dont let her drag you down get out and be strong, you can still lvoe her but you just dont need to live there to do that
2006-12-23 15:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by pen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best I can tell you is to get a job and instead of spending your money, put it in the bank to save for deposits on a place of your own. Good luck.
2006-12-23 15:27:18 · answer #6 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call cps or find a mentor that will be more mother-like to you. Try the girls and boys club or talk to a school counselor.
2006-12-23 15:25:04 · answer #7 · answered by angie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother is now dead to me because of this. Years of abuse is too much for my liking.
2006-12-23 15:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by IMHO 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hummm.....is she really that bad, or are you a typical teen rebelling against the parents??
Once u go 2 college, just don't deal with her...
Just make sure she has proper care, but it does not have 2 be from you.
2006-12-23 15:38:30 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Charming's Princess♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Baby, just PRAY about and you will be just fine.
2006-12-23 15:59:06 · answer #10 · answered by poohbaby 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋