My Daughter and is 4 months pregnant with twins. She is very smart and never gave me problems with school or at home and makes very good grades and so does her 13 year old boyfriend. What should I do?
2006-12-23 15:04:19 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well #1 you should evaluate your parenting skills and the morals you raised her with...#2 get ready to be a grandparent that is going to have to support all 4 of them...
2006-12-23 15:08:01 · answer #1 · answered by behr28 5 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Well, so far you sound very calm and collective which is a very good thing for both you and your daughter. First thing your daughter and her boyfriend being book smart has nothing to do with them having sex. They are 13 and they bad a decisiion which now has some serious consquences for all involved. She is 13 so her carrying twins to term is very, very unlikely and she maybe in for a very hard 5 months. An adult woman carrying twins is enough let alone a child. Ask all the questions you can for the doctor and discuss all of your options in child birth and having a c-section. If you are willing to support her and those babies then by all means keep the childern and help her raise them. First and foremost she needs to finish her education, and she needs to take some parenting classes. She also needs to understand what having a baby means the responseability and the fact that she may lose a lot of her friends, no partying like normal kids, and a lot more stress for you. You sound like a very supportive mom and she could not ask for anything more from you other than all the love you can give her. My suggestion would be if you want to keep the babies then let her mother them, show and guide her but do not take over for her. Teach her everything she will need to know, and communicate with the father and his parents as well. Open communication will be very key in a successful birth of the babies and for all involved. If you decide not to keep the twins you have many options and here is my top choice. An open adoption, where you cna your daughter can choose the parents of the twins and you can see the baby all the time, she and you can have a active part in there lives, and the babies will know where and who they come from which is very important. Remember to be honest with one another and love and support eachother as a family and you may hit some rough pateches in the journey but you will survive if you love and communicate well with one another.
2006-12-24 11:55:20 · answer #2 · answered by shaunda f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do depends on your personal circumstances and beliefs. I think you probably already know pretty much everything I have to say:
Your daughter is starting her second trimester. That means that ending the pregnancy is no longer an option unless, I believe, the doctor believes it will seriously risk your daughter's health.
Regardless of the abortion question, carrying two twins to term is going to be incredibly hard on your daughter's body. Pregnancy is hard period, and being young and carrying twins is going to make it harder. There's also a chance that the babies will be born early. That means that they could have medical issues, hopefully not serious but undoubtedly expensive.
It's also the case that if your daughter has the children and does not give them up for adoption, either you personally are going to end up raising them or her life is going to be incredibly damaged. Or both.
What can you live with? Do you want to spend another 18+ years raising children? Can you afford to do it? Will you be haunted if the children are given up for adoption, or is an open adoption arrangement agreeable?
So. For starters, I suggest that you talk to your daughter's doctor about the medical considerations. I also suggest that you talk to your daughter.
I frankly don't see how, at the end of 13, she can have any realistic idea of the situation she is in. But all the same, it's her body and she's the one who's pregnant, so there are going to have to be some frank, calm discussions about what all of this means. What it means to you, to her, and to the children and yes, to the birth father.
It is going to be difficult, but hopefully you can all arrive at a compromise that you can live with.
Best of luck to you -
2006-12-23 16:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by IrritableMom 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey pay no attention to what those people said I'm 15 and i got pregnant at 14 and i had my mums full support and I'm so glad i have my son now. I would hate to think that i let that be sucked out by a vacuum. You might be quite surprised with your daughter if shes as smart as you say her and her boyfriend might just rise to the occasion. If you got her to give the twins up think of her suffering for the rest of her life thinking and wondering about those children. Whats happening to them? Where are they? How are they? and so many more questions that she will have to suffer every day for the rest of her life. Now that ive had my son i do home schooling now and its great I'm going really well with it.and please don't make her have an abortion otherwise your murdering your unborn grandchildren ripping their limbs apart while they scream in pain from being vacuumed out of what is their home.
2006-12-23 20:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by minxyangelnz 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must of been speechless when you found that your smart, talented, and well behaved 13 year old daughter was pregnant, and totally speechless when you both found out that she was having twins. I think you should keep on supporting her until she gives birth and from then and on. Twins can be rough for her. If I were you, I would help her raise them. Don't be around the babies often because then they will start thinking YOUR their mother.
2006-12-24 00:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by me_mygang_1994 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she hasn't ruined her life! She just changed it and possibly made it better. Did you become a better person when you were responsable for your childs life? Did you learn to make better choices and think before you act? She's goona learn those things at an early age and i think thats beter then half way through your life and just learning them. With your help, she can still finish school and go to colllege. If you make her give up her babies she'll regret it for the rest of her life and you don't know how it might effect her emotionally! She could end up making bad grades, deppressed all the time, and dropping out of school. Just be there and support her! Its what she NEEDS the most.
2006-12-25 10:30:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! 13? That is way too young! I honestly think she should not have a boyfriend either. I honestly believe that she should consider terminating the pregnancy or consider adoption. 13 is not an age where you are emotionally prepared to deal with being a parent.If you don't think that abortion is the answer, then seriously consider adoption. I am sure that it is putting a strain on your family financially and emotionally. I am not a professional counselor or doctor, but as the mother of a 9 year old, I could never consider her pregnancy at such a young age as appropriate.
2006-12-23 15:13:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mia 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
for right now, just give your daughter the love and support that she needs from you as her mother. it doesn't matter at this moment how or why she ended up pregnant; it's done, and she needs your help to deal with the consequences. sounds to me like she's very responsible in other areas, so when you do get a chance to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your daughter, teach her about how to take responsibility for her sex life. oh and when you do talk-PLEASE don't yell at her, it'll only make things worse. emphasize that you love her and will always be there for her even though she made a mistake (and a huge one at that) and you're disappointed in her, and let her speak her piece as well. good luck, and happy holidays.
2006-12-24 01:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by missizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm only 11 years old but i have the iq of an asian if you don't want to raise the kids then i would recomend putting the kids up for adoption also because of how young she is she probably won't make it through the birth or the babies could die but if she really wants to keep the kids then enroll her in parenting classes i'm pretty sure there are places where she can go where someone will help her out with the babies thats really all i can say sory i couldnt be much help
2006-12-24 00:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by italiana mocha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there's not much you can do now except eitha support her or get rid of her.. but if u get rid of her she'll never look at u da same bc dat would b devastatin for her to go through dis all by herself personally i would b sincerely hurt if my momma left me n my time of need. Just because she's smart doesnt mean she dont make mistakes not sayin her havin babies is a mistake but her choices have proven not to good but she a baby herself so she's gonna need all da help her lovin mother can give her.
2006-12-23 15:16:01 · answer #10 · answered by Tiny 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, she's way too young to raise a baby let alone twins. So the question is, are you prepared to raise 2 babies all over again?
If not, put them up for adoption now.
2006-12-26 06:13:54 · answer #11 · answered by cherryvalley2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋