Should I tell her!!?

Question

I have been married for almost 4 years and we have 2 children. I often think about cheating but never thought about doing it. Well a month ago I met the most wonderfull woman ever. Since I met her we have been having an all out affiar and now I am confused. I feel very uncomefortable around my wife and I am unhappy now. I know if I tell her I cheated she will divorce me, but rightnow thats what I feel like I want. I really don't want to hurt anyone but I feel like the damage is already done. My wife says she is so happy with life and I just don't know what to do! All I know is I really like how I feel when I am with this other woman. She is also married and has said she would get a divorce to be with me. Just need to hear some comments from the outside looking in. Does my wife deserve to know what I did?

Answer 1

Yes your wife deserves to know, ONLY if you plan on leaving her. Dont just leave her and not give her a reason why. If you dont plan on leaving her, then dont tell her. Just DONT DO IT AGAIN. In a recent book I read it stated that if the spouse is TRULY sorry for what he/she has done, and isnt going to do it again, it is better if the do not tell the other, as it could put a significant strain on the relationship that they may be wanting to save. BUT, dont expect this other woman to up and leave her husband. It prolly wont happen that way. You need to take some time alone to think things out and decide what you want, and what would be best for you and your family. Good luck honey.

Answer 2

NO your wife doesn't deserve to know. No good can come of her knowing. If you tell her it will effect your kids too. You did this and you deserve to suffer with the knowledge of what you did to 3 innocent people, plus how many are effected on her side. The grass is always greener on the other side, so why don't you just stay home and water your lawn. If you are truly unhappy in your marriage, is counseling worth a try to stay with your wife and kids, your family? Your wife had something grand about her or you would not have married her.
There is also another saying "once a cheater always a cheater" that may not be 100% correct, however, since you know this other women has cheated with you, it won"t be long before you are wondering rather she is cheating on you or not.
With that said, No DO NOT TELL YOUR WIFE!

Answer 3

From experience, You are going to BREAK your wife's heart! Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing more sad than to see the results of a broken heart. If you have ANY feelings left for your wife you will regret that moment for the rest of your life. You also said you have children, I also have experience in that field, (my parents divorced when I was young) and that has affected me to this day! Think of the safest place you can think of, nothing bad can happen there. Suddenly the safety you have known is gone and you don't know what is going to happen next, and you are left wondering if your father leaving was some how your fault or if you could have done something to keep him home. I know what you are thinking, that you are going to be there for them, wright? WRONG, you will try, but with a new girlfriend/wife, new home, new friends (your divorce will cost you at least half of your friends), arguments with your ex, or guilty feelings will make you even more uncomfortable being or seeing your now wife. God forbid you have children with your "other" woman, now your children will be left wondering if you love those children more than them.

Are you really in love with this "other" woman or is it an infatuation? What is it that this "other" woman gives you that you can not get from your wife? Your wife is supposed to be able to fulfill your every need, have you talked to her about what you are lacking in your marriage? Can you live with all of this? I thought that I could, but let me tell you there is nothing worst than feeling you are spinning out of control and nothing to hold on to, so you pray that you hit something so that you can stop. Good Luck, if you have any more questions feel free to contact me. I pray you don't live to regret your decision.

Answer 4

Yes, you have to be honest with your wife hun. If you keep it out then its bound to come out sooner or later. If you are having fun with this woman.. what makes her better than your wife? maybe you can teach your wife to love the things that this other woman has. Also, if you choose to be with this other woman, what makes you think she wont do the same thing to you that she is doing behind her mans back? Im not sure how old your kids are but if they are older then 10 and not old enough to be on their own you might have a problem with them knowing that you have cheated on your wife.. which could also cause problems when they grow up. Before you tell her you might want to make the decision of what you really want.. and believe me i know its not easy.. i hope ive helped =]

Answer 5

is there something really crucial that makes you think you're unhappy with your marriage? Or could it be something that you think you can find from this woman, and can't find it in your wife? You don't, can't and never will have a perfect wife who can meet your every needs, be it mentally or physically. Why break up a perfect family? Your children will suffer at the end of the rope. Do you think it's worth sacrificing everything to be with that one person just because you found the 1% of difference apart from your wife?

Answer 6

First of all, you were wrong in cheating on your wife and it simply cannot be undone. You will have to live with this error for the rest of your life.

Before you tell her, answer this question: who would you prefer to be with, knowing that part of the newness of this new relationship will wear off with time and that YOUR children will suffer the most if you get divorced. Your wife has been a good mother to your children and good wife to you. Forget about this other woman, be a good husband and father and keep your mouth shut. REPENT and promise your GOD that you will not repeat and stick to it.

Answer 7

Only tell her if you want a divorce.Stop with the other woman what makes you think she wont cheat on you too.Not saying she will but a leopard doesn't change its spots.Go home look at your wedding photos try and remember why you fell in love with your wife.There are no winners in a divorce when the lust, infatuation whatever fades you may regret a divorce.Try to figure what your trying fix in yourself with this affair look deep into your eyes if you like what you see get a divorce and see what happens.If you don't like what you see you wont in the future either.

Answer 8

Yes, she's your wife. There is no need 2 got thru the motions, if your not happy. You should let her know how you feel & be honest. Of course, she'll be pissed & depressed for a while (u have 2 totally take the blame & responsibility), but it's better for your entire family 2 c u happy, rather than "playing house"
GOOD LUCK & BLESSINGS

Answer 9

switching one wife for another ? think about it. girl# 2 is fun and exiting but that will wear off. marriage is marriage. it soulds like you want to be single. be truthful but don't say you feel in love with someone. More than likely you are only in heat with this other woman. But one way or the other you do not seem to want to give your wife 100% so let her go better now than 10 years down the road when she is older and harder for her to get back in the swing of single life

Answer 10

I think that the grass is always greener on the other side. Of course you feel wonderful around this other woman. There is no
responsibility to her, no kids, no problems,no honey do list. its all new and exciting. Your wife deserves better. stop cheating and
treat your wife like your treating your new lover.. how would you like it if she did that to you. If you got with this other woman, how would you ever trust each other.