I am so totally pissed off to the point of wanting to end my new marriage. Here goes; my husband is very close friends with this woman and her family. Matter of fact, she is the one who introduced us. He wants to buy her a car and put the car that they once shared together in the shop. My thing is why does he have to buy her a car considering the fact that she now has a job and can buy her own car. He seems to want to make sure everyone in his close knit circle of friends and family are straight while he puts me on the backburner and act so stingy and tight. When i mentioned my concerns he told me I act like I am jealous of this girl. Mind you, she is a lesbian. That really pissed me off. He had a truck that now his father uses all the time. Why should I give him access to my car when he feels he can buy cars for everyone else. I just don't get it. It just doesn't make sense to buy a car only to have someone have access to it, and not the wife. Is this some bull or what?
2006-12-23 14:07:17 · 19 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Putting you on the back burner is not good, I would tel him in no uncertain terms to be buying anyone a car.. that if he does..you are history. He has a problem, there is a difference in being generous and leaving you and your feelings out. Maybe you can have the marriage annulled.
2006-12-23 14:19:13 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have plenty to be angry about. Take it in steps and review everything that is going on here.
Thinking of ending a new marriage is a drastic step. Are you sure you want to be thinking this way?
There are several different things going on that should be looked at separately:
How much attention are you getting as a new wife?
Do you have enough transportation for your needs?
Your husband is thinking about helping other people, a former female friend and his father. Maybe he is trying to please many different people at one time. Does he feel that he owes these people?
Early marriages need alot of conversation and open sharing in the beginning.
Be honest and open with your husband. Tell him that you are concerned about finances and his offer to buy the other person a car. Let him know that you have a need for transportation.
The most important thing you need to know in early marriage is this.....both people need to set boundaries.
Both! He will need to know where you draw the line of his helping other people. You will need to know how far he is willing to extend his generosity. You two will need to live with some give and take and negotiation.
Don't give up too quickly. He might be a good guy.
C-F
2006-12-23 22:21:07 · answer #2 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, i would be in the same boat as you if my guy did that. TELL HIM point blank, if he buys her a car- he can say goodbye to you sweetheart, because nobody just buys a car for just anybody- a car is the second highest commitment next to a house COMMON! You know what he wants- i can tell buy what you wrote- he wants both of yall- shes lesb, your straight he wants a 3 way more then likely. Put him in his place, dont let him think hes the only one who wears pants in this relationship. I might also suggest cousiling.
2006-12-23 22:12:28 · answer #3 · answered by cats4ever2k1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this happens a lot in new marriages. he probably just needs time to make the transition to considering his wife first. when my brother first got married, he still put his longtime friends before his wife but he changed that. now he will even check my mother if she says/does something inappropriate regarding his wife. for some men it just takes some time before considering his NEW family as much as his OLD family and friends. just make sure you keep talking to him and let him know how you feel.
2006-12-23 22:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by morequestions 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck? Does he need more friends?!?!? I could use a car!
Serious, you should sit him down and really have a heart to heart. He sounds like the kind of guy who thinks of others before himself and his family. He should know that it's not a jealously thing, you have needs too.
2006-12-23 22:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by elprez14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, please look at it like this: you have a husband who wants everyone to be happy. Next, sit him down and tell him that you realize that, but feel he doesn't realize that by making everyone else happy, he is hurting you and the relationship you share. Ask (and listen) for his input. You have a great guy - who cares if his friend is a lesbian, he picked you honey! Good luck.
2006-12-23 22:11:20 · answer #6 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's too stupid to drive a car!!
Tell him that her girlfriend can buy her a car---or she can buy her own damn car.
I'm not being rude but do you make more money than him? May be that he thinks you can take care of yourself.
And you aren't acting jealous---you are acting like your husband has his head stuck in his butt.
2006-12-23 22:13:15 · answer #7 · answered by MamaCat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he was this way before you married him...why weren't you paying attention at that time? Or were you one of those who expected him to change after marriage just because he was marrying you? People don't change after marriage. As for me I'd be walking away from this marriage now.
2006-12-23 22:53:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all men are *ssholes now adays. Back in the day 1800 -1900 before women started publicizing their bodies as tool men treated women with respect. Even if they didn't want us working. Now we have to put up with everything, work, bills, kids, and men. We really need to all grow up and realize we don't need men to survive, men need us to survive, lets make them work for it yeah? Or maybe it's H.U.B.S head up butt syndrom!
2006-12-23 22:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by babyboyz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean dont end your marriage cause of that. He could just be buying her a car thanking her, because if it wasnt for her he wouldnt have met you and married you.
2006-12-23 22:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋