I was in the army when my ex and i got divorced. my daughter was with him because she could not be with me while i was in training. his lawyer appointed him physical care custody. now he seems to think that he has "full" custody of her and barely lets me talk to her. better yet, he won't even let me take her from south dakota to ohio where i now live because he says i can't. i'm so confused. i'm getting a lawyer to help me out, but i'm just afraid that she is going to tell me tough luck. what can i do and what do you think my chances are of getting FULL custody of my little girl. he won't even let me spend christmas with her even though it states in the divorce papers we are to share holidays. i can only SEE her according to him. and he won't let me pick her up from daycare the day that he works and i'm supposed to see her for only half a day!!! what do you think my chances are of getting my daughter are? please help me!
2006-12-23 12:40:37 · 7 answers · asked by Mandie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i'm not a man, i am a woman and no longer in the army i got a medical discharge
2006-12-23 12:56:34 · update #1
i am divorced because he cheated on me while i was at home taking care of our daughter while i was still in high school getting my diploma. he said that he "went out with his friends and drank because he was scared for me" bull crap!
2006-12-23 15:48:28 · update #2
You need to get a lawyer...he has physical custody and he can tell you that you cant take her out of state. As far as you seeing her in his state and talking to her he does not have the right. Keep a long of all your phone calls and any other contact that you try to do.
I have physical custody of my 2 sons but they are allowed to leave the state to see there dad during set scheduled visits. He can call them whenever he wants but he does not call them at all.
Good luck_
2006-12-23 12:47:23 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, did you have any input in the first case? You say "his lawyer appointed him." You needed to either agree or have a judge make the order. Either way, the circumstances sound like they have changed greatly from the first order and it actually sounds like you have a very decent chance of getting custody.
In most states you need some "substantial change of circumstances" before you can ask the court to chance custody. The fact that you are no longer in the military seems to meet that criteria.
In addition most states will look very unfavorably on a parent who is unreasonable/inflexible and unwilling to work with the other parent on visitation issues. Sounds like your ex fits the bill. Please document all the attempt you have made to work with him. All the requests that have been denied. This will all work in your favor.
File for a change of custody right away. If you are going to move out of state, one of you will get custody, one will get visitation. The more you can agree on and the less you have to take to a judge, the cheaper, quicker and easier the whole process will be.
Good luck.
2006-12-24 00:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by CV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there should be no parent that keeps your children from seeing you... My ex tried to do the same when I wanted to take the kids out of state. If you have them for the alloted time I was told by the friend of the court I could go any where. Being a guy I feel sorry for you and what your going thru.. Most of the guys are in your position so I think I could speak for a lot of Dads that want to get involved and are allowed to. The best thing I can tell you is to call the friend of the court and see what they say....Its kind of out of your hands and if you are like most Dads,,, its out of your hands but you wont need a lawyer if you contact the friend of the court. Sorry for what you are going thru and good luck.
2006-12-23 20:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by patrick c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, like chicky said, you won't be able to move them out of the state if he has physical custody, and most likely even if he just has joint custody. Sorry. But you definitely need to hammer away at the holiday issue. There's no excuse for that.
Why are you moving to Ohio? PCS? I've never experienced that exact situation, but I'm wondering if there's some way to get orders back to where you could live around your daughter. Go to your platoon sergeant and tell him/her you want to go to the 1SG to talk about this. Also, chaplains aren't just there for spiritual advice, so I'd suggest you go see your unit chaplain. There's a confidentiality requirement for chaplains as well, so rest assured that your conversation will be private. I wish you the best.
2006-12-23 20:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by obligatorycleverusername 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frist of all if the custody papers say you can't move the child out of state then you can not move her out of state without a court battle. You need to go through ALL of your divorce papers and actually READ what they have to say. It sounds like to me that you didn't really pay attention to what was going on in the divorce especially at custody time and you just may have signed papers without knowing fully and clearly what they meant. Once you sign those papers though it is VERY difficult to change them.
2006-12-24 03:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooo that's not fair, he can't just do that. I hope you can get full custody. You were in the army, and you couldn't fully defend yourself so the court will probably give you more time. Why are you divorced? Goodluck with this
2006-12-23 23:18:49 · answer #6 · answered by politicaltnt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately in this great court system we have it comes down to who can afford the best lawyer.
2006-12-23 22:04:19 · answer #7 · answered by chosen37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋