well we have two small children ages three and a half and two years old. im am now pregnant with our third. mind you these were all planned by both of us. yet now that im four months along it seems that im the only one giving up anything. he told me that he would stop going out with his buddies now that im pregnant and he knows it upsets me yet hes out again right now with my brother. i am home now while the two children are sound asleep trying to wrap gifts by myself and he is out with my brother at this club that just opened up. now i know that he needs his space to do things too but really i need attention. i need him here. im sick of him leaving every saturday with his friends and my brother. i know he is faithful my brother would tell me if he wasnt and i do trust my husband thats not the point. the point is why does he need to go out and leave me alone when he knows it upsets me so? Oh and i have talked to him about this and he said he would not do it anymore until the baby comes
2006-12-23 12:40:09 · 11 answers · asked by littleluvkitty 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It sounds like he is making empty promises to you. Why? he really does need to get priorites straight here... he has two children with you already and still out partying.. and with your brother also? Doesn't sound like your brother is helping much if he is always going out with him, is your brother the one suggesting they go out or is it your husband? I know I hate being left alone to take care of my son bymyself. I'm a stay at home mom.. my husband works nights... and sleeps all day... the only time he helps is when he wakes up for the hour or two before going to work.. and occasionally on his days off... but he does try... sometimes men don't understand that we need them to do more for us... like watch the kids while we go out for a couple of hours with the girls... or do something small as to make them lunch or dinner.. or offer to give them a bath or put them to bed that night... there are alot of great fathers out there that stay home with the kids and help around the house alot.. but then we have our occasional fathers that forget that taking care of children is hard work and we need a break... i mean isn't bad enough we have to do the whole 9-10 months carrying our children then birthing them... If you have already talked to him and he is still donig this... ask your brother to talk to him.. or a friend.. hearing it from another guy might help.. if not.. i don't know what else to suggest... yelling and complaining to him won't do alot of good... try sitting down and talking to him once again... it might help if the others dont.. sorry and good luck
2006-12-23 12:52:27 · answer #1 · answered by sleepyincarolina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would not be able to tolerate having a man like that. I feel that especially now, the going out should be out of his system and become a "husband" - he has it too good, he has a wife kids yet lives the single life. A married man goes out with his wife and if he does go out - it is to be from time to time. I really would put my feet down and let him know, this stops, or the relationship will. You choose.
2006-12-23 21:10:38 · answer #2 · answered by Snowwhite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, stop getting pregnant by a man who isn't interested in his family. I know this sounds harsh, but you need to do what's right for you, and being with a man who puts his "friends" above his wife isn't a man who deserves a woman who is willing to put her family first.
Secondly, he won't do this anymore until after the baby comes? He needs to not do this anymore, even after the baby comes. He has responsibilities to you and his babies, and he needs to honor those.
There is nothing wrong with a night here or there to be with your friends. But, every Saturday is a bit excessive. You guys need to set some ground rules, that maybe every third Saturday he can go to dinner or something (clubs should be out of the question), and if you agree to it, and he holds up his end, then you can't ***** about it.
We, as wives, tend to lay into out husbands about going out and those kinds of things, which only further promotes the idea of them wanting to leave. You need to understand that he wants to hang out with your brother, and he needs to respect you ebough to stay home. But, if staying home means that he has to listen to you complain about him going out the whole time, then he's gonna get up and go out, plain and simple.
Believe me, I support you in this, and all that, but do some inventory on yourself and make sure you're a woman he wants to be around, and that you're a woman who makes him feel like he wants to be home. Sometimes men are a little dense, and we need to go over and above to make them feel "special".
You can email me if you want (sanemommy@yahoo.com). I actually work with women who have marriage issues, and maybe I can help you figure this out.
2006-12-23 20:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a sitter and go with him. You don't have to drink to go out and have a good time. Tell him you're sick of being alone and you wanna come too.
Maybe you can compromise. Give him two saturdays a month and he give you two saturdays. You need to have date nights.
2006-12-23 20:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby sounds like someone i know, my hubby. When i was preganant with my 2nd my husband did exactly the same thing, and like yours told me what i wanted to here as well. It sounds like your husband is quite young and hasn't faced up to the fact that he has responsiblties. Sorry to sound like a wet blanket, but these men of ours don't grow out of there selfish ways until they get well and truley into there 30's, and even then they still think they can come and go when it suits them. Sorry, if it 's really getting to you, nip it on the butt before major problems start to occure with his social life, coz trust me when temptation faces these men, they usually, they cave in.
2006-12-23 21:23:56 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you sure you only have 3 kids? Ummm he really needs to grow up .Next week end get your friends together have a girls day out ..Tell him that if he is gona do this you are gonna have your time too. Men even the nicest are big babies ... tell him how is the boss!
good luck
2006-12-23 20:50:35 · answer #6 · answered by iamblessed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he needs to get his priorities in order.. I just spent the whole day wrapping presents and helping my wife with taking care of our baby.. I even wrapped all the presents to her relatives because she was too busy with the baby..
as the woman in the movie Spanglish said: "no space between us!"
2006-12-23 20:43:10 · answer #7 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well tell him how u feel to him u feel left out i guess hes not ready 4 a baby if he is he will spend his time with u beacuse they only last 9 months and he need to have special memories
2006-12-23 20:50:50 · answer #8 · answered by apple_bottom06 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, maybe you can come to some sort of compromise. you both need time out so maybe you can go out alone once a month, he can go out alone once a month and you can go out together once a month.
2006-12-23 20:42:50 · answer #9 · answered by Donna L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's a married man with 2 kids and one on the way....break the news to him...GROW UP...PARTY'S OVER!!!! too bad about him needing his space...wah....what a baby he is! as most women, you accepted your role as a mother and don't cry over "your space". i've been in your shoes...tha't why i chose to be a single mother...i couldn't deal with the immaturity. good luck hun!
2006-12-23 20:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋