I wonder that because though I can remember being "scary" of showing my feelings when I was in my teens throught to my early 30's - then it dawned on me that I would be hurt more if I held my feelings in than I would if I let them out. People tend to be so afraid to be open and/or honest with their thoughts and feelings - why do they do this now, why in their 40's?
2006-12-23 12:08:08 · 19 answers · asked by IncDivaInk 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
quite simply, FEAR. fear of what is a different story. It could be many things, since fear is a manifestation of the individual's imaginative mind. It literally comes out of nowhere. Rejection is a common one, but everyone says it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, so it doesn't make a lot of sense. Others are the fear of ...
1) change. People who spend life in a cage begin to get used to the cage, like the cage, even depend on the cage.
2) continuity of a relationship. People who spend their life alone, travelling constantly or involved deeply in doing things (actions) that require their constant attention don't have time for love, however their body still demands it so every now and then they'll take a stab at it, fail, and get back in their routine.
3) breaking a relationship with others. If a person spends a great deal of time with people they are not romantically involved with, and those people depend on this person for their survival (for example), then it could be difficult to maintain any extra relationships in a romantic context. A habit of caring non-romantically has formed over time that is hard to break due partly to lack of knowledge or experience of what to do. To the world they may be just one person, but to one person they may be their whole world!
The list goes on for a long time (many more than 3), but I think your beginning to see a trend. People like their habits, and don't like change. They like to be liked, but are not prepared to risk believing they are liked for the chance to be told they are liked (also replace all words "like" with "love"). A person can be brutally honest and open and transparent and be totally inconsiderate simulateneously. A person can be closed and protective and manipulative and be a suave, smooth talker simultaneously also.
2006-12-23 13:58:26 · answer #1 · answered by Bawn Nyntyn Aytetu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think people are scared of getting hurt by being direct or open with their emotions.
Its all about how much you are secured with your feelings.
May be a person is vulnerable and easy to get emotionally injured.
As a result what he will do; he takes the protected lane in life; neutral and safe.
I know some other people will avoid talking about their pain or when they are hurt. They don’t want to lose people that they care for if they show their real emotions.
And I think this is another form of (over self protection).
In both cases, it will stop us from being really involved and in-touch with our natural senses. Moreover we are trying as hard as we can to shut down the voice of our souls that keep asking for acceptance and appreciation.
2006-12-23 12:33:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some people care intensely; so much that it scares them. After 30+ years of living a certain way, people have grown accustomed to them being seemingly 'cold'....could you imagine what could happen if all of a sudden they expressed their deepest emotions?
On another more down to earth-science like tip: There are people who based on their personality just don't show emotions too often. It doesn't mean they don't care. I think it comes down to more understanding of those who want to be hugged and those who by nature; don't find it to be their way of expressing emotion.
Get to know a few INTJs (google it)...you almost have to imagine a hug from them, they prefer minimal physical interaction etc.
2006-12-24 11:06:22 · answer #3 · answered by SocialWorks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unrequited love is most painful, along with unappreciated affection and abused romance. Nobody wishes for a broken heart-which is EXACTLY what you may get for showing someone hidden feelings. Plus, fear of showing love for another may be some deep-seated emotional issue that should be examined prior to being in a partnership. Me, I'm so shy and quiet that my nature is just to concentrate on everyone in the world but myself. These days, I'm afraid to show emotion because I'm not sure of how I feel anymore. I get scared that I don't actually love anyone and that I'd be lying if I said "I love you" to anyone. People with emotional baggage (like me) tend to have more of a difficult time with showing love because of experiences that led them to that point.
2006-12-23 12:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by scarlet_sands 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you refer to being yourself and expressing yourself, that is called character and lots of people have great character and make us laugh at times to know someone that is funny, but at least they expres who they are with no guilt or reckoning.
You will find in life that being yourself and expressing yourself is the best way to be. If you get angry at someone then tell them how you feel. The Man has always been more vigilant when he can express himself and views to anybody no matter what and if they don't like him they can kiss his butt. You will find out that people will look at you much higher than on telephone syou stand up for yourself and express yourself and I can't say it enough. That is the key to your character in life and it will follow you all your days The tough get going and the leaders lead the pack.
2006-12-23 12:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
We live in a different world than 50 years ago, Saundra. _ I personally believe that HONESTY is still the best policy, when it comes to caring for others. _ As to your question: "why do they do this now, why in their 40s?" . . . the answer is:- Some people begin to change their perception of life, as they get older.
2006-12-23 12:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by msvasv 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because, I suppose that once somebody is in their 40's they have lived long enough to realize that holding stuff in will only make things worse. At least I hope that is so, I'm only 17 lol.
2006-12-23 14:14:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Human personality tends to seek comfort from other people but they are afraid to be rejected... they prefer to know the person better before they make a move....
2006-12-23 12:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because you're letting your guard down and making yourself vulnerable and if things don't go well, the next time you will not be so easy to expose your feelings
2006-12-23 15:56:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear of being hurt,rejection all the negative things,so its kind of a protection thing now,which is a shame because it makes life so much more confusing
2006-12-23 12:16:49 · answer #10 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋