She left him for another man and there kids are grown men. However 6 months ago I found her cell phone # in his wallet. He said that his son gave it to him. Then 3 months ago she called and left a message on his cell to call her at work. I was so upset so I suggested that we call her together and find out want she wanted. He replied that I could call her and stated that he didn't know what she wanted and didn't want to talk to her. So i called her and asked her if Joe ever got hold of her and did she want to talk to him and she said he called her already, so I caught him in a lie. He said that he called to tell her that she did not need to call him and it was a real problem. I kept his cell phone and nothing happened untill 2 days ago and she called again. and I suggested that we call her together and set my mind at ease that nothing was going on with the two on them and he refused. He wante to wait an call the following day ( I feel that he wanted time to call her and warn Help!
2006-12-23 11:13:41 · 13 answers · asked by beekems 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u and hubby need to go see her, together, she is trying hard to get him back, and keeps calling to see if he is available. could be he is cheating on you, but could be he is not. but theres nothing worse than an ex wife in your marriage. i would keep a very close watch on my husband.
2006-12-23 13:43:49 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern but is there any chance your being a little paranoid? From what you've stated, nothing really strange has happened. They were together for a long time and will talk from time to time. You will need to accept that fact, they have a past including two children they raised together. It doesn't necessarily mean there's something going on in the present. He's probably embarrassed that you want to both talk to her at the same time...i would feel like a kid. Give him the benefit of the doubt until he gives you absolute proof he is cheating on you. Otherwise...this speculation may ruin your relationship with him. Good Luck!!!
2016-03-13 21:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always wondered...maybe you should tell him that you want him to call her and that you would like to listen to the conversation, with only those two talking?
Sheesh...I haven't been divorced, but I don't understand what it is that causes relapses. I mean, they should obviously be in contact for purposes of raising their kid, but it shouldn't be secretive.
If he's really just talking to her about the child, fine. But I can understand how it could be hard from your end to determine whether it's that or if it's something else. I hope it's not something else. But I'd be careful about giving him too much crap about it without more dangerous signs, because he might have just felt that you'd get a little bit jealous if you found out that he was talking to his ex, even for his kid's sake.
2006-12-23 11:51:32 · answer #3 · answered by obligatorycleverusername 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is lying to you.. and I think he probably wants like a sort of "blast from the past" Its normal to have feelings for the mother of your kids.. but if he is in a relationship with you, he shouldn't be lying about talking to her over the phone.. if i were you, i would worry. I think you should call her up and ask her whats going on straight up in front of him too. That way, if she says something, you ask your husband, and make him look stupid when he lies. This situation is not going to end good in any way. He is doing the wrong here... not you. Maybe you should threaten to leave if it doesnt get better.. maybe you will be better off without... either that or he will come to the realization that he cannot have his cake and eat it too.
2006-12-23 11:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by yo mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his wife--he needs to put your priorities first. He should understand why this is bothering you. If you've explained this and he isn't getting on the phone (in front of you) and telling her there is no reason to call him, then you do have reason to worry.
I'm sorry for how you feel---I know exactly what you are going through.
2006-12-23 11:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by MamaCat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your instincts are probably right. I would check the cell phone records to determine if there are other calls you are unaware of. You need to put your foot down about this and let him know that this has to stop or it will cost him his marriage.. He has had the chance to give you peace of mind but he did not take those opportunities. He will continue to play this out as long as possible.
2006-12-23 11:24:34 · answer #6 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When me and my husband first got together his girlfriends used to call all the time. His theroy is that Girls cannot be your true FRIEND. So he didnt talk to them on the phone. Well one day a girl called at 3 in the morning. (I am usually sleep cause I have to be at work at 7 and he works nights) His phone was there but he wasnt?! SO I answered. Hello?- Uh...huh.......click- Why did she hang up or say anything right? So I called back.....Ring ring ring....hello- are you looking for 'joe"- ya this is 'jane"- hes at work....- well he said to call his phone cause he told me that he lost it.- ok so why wouldnt he call it?- click.......I was really mad by now. I called in at about 4:30 in the morning and waited on him (he got off at 6) He walked through the door as if nothing had happened. I asked him about the situation and he said that it was a lady at work and he thought that he left it in the break room. SO I told him that he needs to prove in order for me to believe. The following week I called off again and went to work with him. The lady was sitting in the break room when we got there. I started talking to her and she seemed not interested in my husband. She said the reason she kept hanging up is because if someone answered that sounded sleep just hang up and let him (my husband) know. But by the time I called back she was in the process of telling him. I didnt know how to explain my apologies to my husband for not trusting him.
I think that you should proboly just chill on it. It might be a real problem that he wanted to let her know. Dont go deeper than it need to go. If he is truly commited to his relationship and has always been dont worry about anything.
2006-12-23 11:29:49 · answer #7 · answered by sierra8152001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you may be over reacting, unless there was anything in the past since their divorce that makes you think that they are fooling around again, then dont make anything out of it, however, you may want to call and talk to her yourself and see why shes calling anymore, do they have any legal matters between them since the divorce like child support or anything? maybe a family member passing? talk to your husband first before jumping to conclusions, and do keep an eye on him, but dont freak out, they do share children together no matter what age they are. good luck
2006-12-23 11:20:40 · answer #8 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A cheater is a cheater if you caught him in a lie then it is best for oyu to let him go reason being that once you have caught your lvoer in a lie it is EXTREMELY hard believe them again. i tried to work it out with someone who wa cheating on me but all you do is put your hatred aside tillit blows up in their face.
2006-12-23 11:18:29 · answer #9 · answered by forevernoemi's 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you is to let him know that this makes you feel uncomfortable and unhappy and you want him to stop it. IF he loves you and cares about how he makes you feel he will stop. If he doesn't stop you will have to decide how much YOU will tolerate.
2006-12-23 11:29:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋