Why my kids only call at x-mas or their birthdays!?

Question

Been seperated 4 of the last 8 years. My kids only show up at x-mas and their birthdays, for the gifts. What should I do?

Answer 1

They only call because they think you SUCK! What to do? I have no idea. More information would be very helpful.

Answer 2

You are going to get a treat today. I'm going to give you information and advice from the child's point of view.

1.Do you call them? I have fingers just like you do. Why in the h*** should I do all the work. I bet when you were dating the mom you had all the time in the world to call.

2.Do you have an other interactions with those children? Can you tell them the names of their friends?...their best friend?...any friend? Do you know what they are involved/interested in? How about what they what to be when they grow up? Get involved don't be lazy.

3.LOL i see people write that you should stop buying them gifts. Its not the gifts that are important. Thats the relationship that you have established. If you stop the gifts those children are going to say D*** he could at least think about me enough to buy me something as a token that I am his child and he thinks about me sometimes. And yes they will say D***. If not while they are young they will when they get older.

4.When they do talk/see you, do you chastise them for unwarranted things/ get on their nerves/ or talk poorly about the other parent. Children are not stupid and they have feelings too. And they will remember the things you say FOREVER.

If you fail to take my advice you will drive your children completely away. I'm 23 now. I'm a college graduate and I'm engaged. I had a relationship like yours. He paid child support but you need more than that to raise a child. It actually takes time and effort. I call him when i think about it which is hardly ever. He's never met my fiance nor does he even know about him. And he will not be walking me down the aisle. I'm not angry with him I just don't think about him at all. He wasn't there. Honestly I have an uncle that is only 9yrs older than me and he was more of a male role model than my biological father. If you need more advice contact me at [e-mail]

Answer 3

The magic word here is KIDS, your the adult and should initiate other times with them. They feel that Birthdays and Christmas give them a reason to call you. This is a sad thing but if you want more ask for it, no insist on it. You pay there support don't you? Well your intitiled to see them. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Write them meaningful cards expressing your deepest thoughts and feelings,don't buy gifts for them.See if they stop coming around.Oftentimes children do this and do not even realize,If they do stop coming around,ask why.Then alow them to really share with you why without go into guilt.Maybe they are distant because of hurt,but you as the parent need to help them heal.So then you can have a genuin relationship based on love and trust,and not things.God bless and good luck

Answer 5

Hate to hurt you but they sound like my children.They only call or come by when they know there gonna get something.I haven't seen my son in 8 months, he called the other day to tell me he would be stopping by for Christmas hmm.But guess what I don't have anything for him lololol oops.I guess he should have came around more, he only lives 3 miles from me,and I think he probably has been around a phone in 8 months.

Answer 6

It's going to be up to YOU as the parent to cultivate a healthier relationship with your kids. You don't say how old they are and if they are still children or if they're grown, but YOU will have to make the effort as the parent/adult in the relationship here. Start trying to make regular communication/visits with them to establish and maintain a real relationship with them and make the effort to go and see them or meet them somewhere close to where they live. If they see you taking the time to make an effort it will be more likely that they will try harder as well. Lead by example.

Answer 7

No. X has been a valid image for Christ for over 1000 years, and continues to be a valid abbreviation. As stated, it somewhat is the 1st Greek letter of Christ's call. yule would not take the Christ out of Christmas in any respect.

Answer 8

kids are kids, they just want the gifts. do you try to take them any other time in the year? the kids shouldn't have to always come to you, if you are indeed the father then make an effort to see them other times in the year as well.

Answer 9

Kids are as parents teachs them.......in any way or another.
have you get worry about them last 8 years?
have you been a real father for them?
have you been for them when they needed you?
If you did all that..then you have reason to be worried.....but if you only called them from time to time......then dont expect so much love from their side. Love cant be bought.......have to be earned.
Sorry for saying that......but you didnt give us so much details, and we only can guess.

Merry christmas

Answer 10

well since you don't live with them. they take what they can get from you. all children want and need gifts, love,attention from parents. that is why we are parents.as they get older (you did not say the ages of the kids ) you need to establish a stronger father role in their lives. then you will understand their needs better than you do now.you need a better relationship with your kids. good luck.

Answer 11

Then you should be calling them may be they have been told stories about you if you want to have a relationship then suck it up and call them you are there dad and of course they are going to expect gifts from you