i was on toms email accout to print something when i saw a email from an old gf.she sent it 1 day ago and tom did not see it yet and does not know i read it then deleted it.this is what it said tom how are you?it was nice to see you again even if u did give me the cold shoulder.your girls are so big!mary.tom never told me he ran into her and shes not just any old gf.they have a long history and he left his 1st wife for her 5yrs ago.it sounds like he just ran into her at the store or something with his girls.my questions are what do you guys make of her email?why would she make a comment about him giving her a cold shoulder?what was she expecting?does it sound like she is after him again?i know your thinking well he gave her the cold shoulder why worry.i can't help and wonder if he gave her the cold shoulder only becuase the girls were with him and he wanted to get out of there before anything was said. they are old enough to repeat what they hear and turn him in to me or their mom.
2006-12-23 09:59:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think your blowing things way out of proportion. She just wanted to know how he is doing and comment on how the girls haven't gotten so big.
2006-12-23 10:02:22 · answer #1 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I have had this happen. It's all unanswered questions and will drive you nuts if you let it. In my case, my man was lying and sending emails and chatting behind my back to some other woman. It was absolutely devastating. That may not be your case and don't let my story frighten you (although it is too common now-a-days).
Just start with the facts: Has he had the same email for the last 5 years you say? She has his email address. Is it a new email address? Does he chat online at home or work? He must be honest and so should you.
It could be nothing, but again, stick to the facts and don't let it drive you apart.
I never cheated on my man online, but he did it to me repeatedly. Be careful.
2006-12-23 10:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in dangerous waters. Don't look into things that way. Don't delete his emails, this is devious. Next you will be checking his email for something that is not going on in the first place and you will be getting all upset about it and that will create problems in you marriage. Tell him what you did and how you felt. Be fair. Sound like he did the right thing running into and ex-girlfriend. Talk it out and be calm. Don't accuse and be understanding. Also wait until after Christmas, the kids need a great Christmas.
2006-12-23 10:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by Jason 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you knew he left his first wife for her.You knew he was a cheater.You can't get involved with someone you know to be a cheater and them expect him to be faithful to you.Doesn't happen.I personally go with the direct approach.If he knows that you know his pass words to use his account.Then you should tell him what you did.And ask him what the deal is.Don't accuse him of anything just ask him straight out about her.And If he acts really overly pissed off about you questioning.Start looking for other clues.Like is her taking more showers,leaving the room when on the phone,has he changed his routine.I,e. staying later at work,leaving earlier for work or working weekends all of a sudden.But if you do have his premission to use his e-mail account and he know you are doing it I doubt if they are seeing each other that she would be stupid enough to risk you seeing an e-mail from her.It isn't the account that you know of that you have to worry about.Because if he is an experienced cheater he would know or should know to set up a different account and give that to the other woman not the address that you know about.
2006-12-23 12:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would respond to the email and say "I gave you the cold should because I did not want to give you any ideas that there was any possibility of us being more than passing acquaintances. Please do not email me again." Then I would block her email address.
Hey, alls fair in love and war.
2006-12-23 10:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by ssc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him all of these questions. Only you can live your life and have the questions and worries. Tell him that you read it and tell him how you feel. Get your answers before complete trust is gone and you become worried ever time he leaves home without you.
2006-12-23 10:05:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though Tom is not really interested. Put this out of your mind unless you have further evidence that something is going on.
2006-12-23 10:03:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason he dropped her and chose you.
Maybe he didn't like it when he found her messing with his personal email and telling the world about it.
2006-12-23 10:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by Happy Camper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the cold shoulder comment was probably they probably met at a hotel. He had an incredible sexual experience, and chose to leave it at a one night stand. She's looking for more, but because of his marriage, it could only be what is was. A drunken, sex filled night.
2006-12-23 10:05:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
leave it alone and see what happens what you do in the dark has to come to the light so if something is going on it will come out sooner or later and dont say nothing to him just watch and you'll see if anything is going fussing with him will only make something happen
2006-12-23 10:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by twilla l 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋