About a year ago i met this guy from work &we quickly became friends. He was very nice and different from other guys. We would hang out a lot as friends, even alone in my house &he even had a gf but she didnt mind. He was like a brother/best friend to me and i only saw him as a friend. One night when i had an emotional brokedown at a bar with him i was crying the whole night on his shoulder because of my ex-boyfriend who i had broken up with. I was very drunk and vulnerable. He came over and got his way with me even when i tried to stop him a lot of times. He basically raped me u can say. After that he talked to me for maybe two more times and we just stopped talking. He went to being one of my closest friends to nbothing at all. Its been a year and that day has still stuck with me and hurt me a lot, ive become very depressed actually. I still have his brother's cell number, and his house number (he doesnt have a cell) and im pondering on whether to call bc i have so many questions
2006-12-23 09:50:42 · 15 answers · asked by tragickingdom 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Whatever you need to get closure and move on, do it.
But what do you want from him? Just be aware that you might not get any reaction that you like. Sounds like a jerk that was being a good friend just to get into your pants. And given his actions in the past, would you believe his answers to your questions anyways?
You might want to talk to someone else instead of him or after you talk to him. If you do talk to him, maybe you should tell a really good friend what your plans are and make a 'date' with him or her for afterwards. I'd do this if I were in your situation because I know I'd probably need to talk to a trustworthy person after such a confrontation.
Good luck!
2006-12-23 10:00:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if he was a jerk and all he want is get into bed with u .. he would of do that long time ago .. because as u said before . u were having Lot of time hanging out also stay at home with him alone
so he could make it long time ago .. don`t miss judge him .. i`m not saying that what he did is right but remember . both of u was drunk .. talk to him and u`ll know if he mean it or not ..
don`t lose a good friend easily follow Ur heart listen to him and then u and only u `ll do the right thing
2006-12-23 22:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by stow7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear this. This guy has not only raped you, he totally betrayed your trust. This must be very difficult and painful to deal with. I think you should see a counselor and call your next rape crisis center. If you still feel like this after a year, the bad feelings will not just go away. You have to share them with somebody who can help you. Please, do not call this guy before you have spoken to a counsellor. You have nothing good to expect from such a cruel person. I wish you all the very best.
2006-12-24 02:33:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is just a male point of view but a year is way to long to rent this guy space in your head. if as you say he raped you why would you even want to give this guy the satisfaction? and with the time lapse and the fact you were both drinking it is going to be hard to prosecute him in court I agree with the others about you getting some counseling and getting on with your life. and don't be angry at your self you can't change what happened just what happens next.
2006-12-23 22:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by Bird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you guys were both drunk tha night and he did something very stupid!....I think you two should get together and discuss what happened without yelling, because if it becomes a fight then you wont get your answers...After you have found out what you need to know then you will have to make a decision of wether go back to friends or nothing at all.
2006-12-23 09:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by ap 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He took serious advantage of you when you were most vulnerable. He's lucky you aren't pressing charges. After you have a chance to work through this stuff with a counselor who specializes in survivors of assault (at your local rape crisis center perhaps), he deserves to know what he did. It's possible that he's a not-completely-terrible-person who completely messed up and doesn't know exactly what his actions meant to you, and that he is guilty of sexual assault. He should know what he did, because you shouldn't have to bear this alone, and also because it may help him reevaluate how he treats women in general.
2006-12-23 10:31:08 · answer #6 · answered by Ann S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Glo is right, he was spending time with you because he liked you. He took (drunk or not, ) advantage of you when you were drunk & vulnerable. It could be he is ashamed and thats why he is not talking to you? I def agree on the counseling advice. but before and if you talk to him, think on what your goal is.
I do not think however think you can resume a friendship with him since that is obvious not what he ultimately wanted. good luck.
these folks have given you good advice.
2006-12-25 20:37:20 · answer #7 · answered by **twin** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can call him and voice your feelings and opinions. However, this is exactly what he was waiting for. A moment for you to feel lonely and needy. He was not hanging around to be your friend. I can not believe you were so naive. He was not spending all of this time with you to be a gooooooooooooood friend. Have blessed Christmas and a joyous New Year! God bless****
2006-12-24 01:30:12 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would definate say YES! he had no right to force sex on you, and you need to give him a piece of your mind! show him that you're not one to be messed with, or it could happen again, even from someone else. tell his gf to see how she takes it, she has a right to know, because she's basically been cheated. turn him into someone that will never have another relationship. psychological torture is much more efficient than physical. defend your rights as a woman!
2006-12-23 09:55:45 · answer #9 · answered by zlisa98 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seek professional help. There's probably a rape crisis hotline in whatever city you live in. Something similar happened to one of my friends and it sucks.
2006-12-23 09:54:07 · answer #10 · answered by anecdoteman1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋