ive recently found out that my 13 going on 14 year old daughter is?

Question

ive just found out that she is pregnant she is 8 weeks she told me this morning that her period was late and she thought she was pregnant i took her to planned parenthood and said she was 8 weeks...i asked her if she wanted to have an ABORTION she said No and asked her if when the baby is born she wanted to give it up she aso said no what can i do i would love for it to live with me but i dont know im a single mom and i dont know how i can support this child what do u think i could do because she is going to keep the baby

can i make her have an abortion because i asked the people from planned parenthood and they said if she didnt want to have an abortion i couldnt make her n she wants to keep this baby so bad

well im a teacher and i do win money but she likes buying expencive stuff i told her that if she has the baby that will have to stop and she said ok i think i will let her keep this baby

Answer 1

Ok, this is just my opinion but she should get an abortion. She is so young and this will ruin her life, The chances of her making something of herself after being a young mom, and so very young, are very slim. Adoption would be ideal but that is also a hard thing to go through.

Answer 2

Teenagers are stubborn...it's a fact of life! Break it down for her, and tell her that it's okay if she doesn't want an abortion, but there's no way in Hades you can afford to keep the baby. Take her to the grocery store and add up the cost of diapers and formula, then price out child care w/ her. Then remind her that since this is HER baby, these costs would be HER responsibility, and she's not even old enough to get a job!! Make an appointment and take her to an adoption agency to explain her options. Open adoptions are a wonderful thing--they give a baby to a family that can care for it AND the mother can still be somewhat involved in the baby's life.

Remember, you ARE her mother and she IS a minor, so you do have the final say over what happens to this baby! Teenagers are so stupid to think they can shoulder the REAL responsibility of caring for a child. All they think about is the feeding and playing and diapering, and they forget the fiscal side of it--where the money for the food, toys, and diapers will come from!

And after this whole mess is over, get her on birth control, since she's not likely to stop having sex. Preferably the depo-provera shot, so it's not something she has to remember to take every day. I know as a teenager I had a helluva lot more to worry about than taking a pill every day!

You could go the government assistance route, but that only teaches her that when she screws up the state will save her ***!

Answer 3

first of all you said you were a teacher, your thirteen your old daughter is pregnant do you just not watch her or do you just let her go off by herself. I'm thirteen years old and I've never had sex and if I did my parents would kill me. You shouldn't be the one trying to support her child anyway's you should make her find a job so that she could at least somewhat support this child and I'm sort of with her I wouldn't have an abortion it's murder and people that do have abortions should be put in jail. my advice to you would be to watch your daughter more closely. I might give my baby up for adoption. but then again I'm not pregnant. Did you ask her who the father is and if he is going to help support it. You should talk to his parents about this too because after the baby is born they could decide that they want custody of it and if that is the case you will probably lose because you can't even watch your own daughter close enough let alone a baby. You have alot of planning to do if your daughter is going to keep the baby.
Best wishes to you and good luck because your going to need it.

Answer 4

It's a difficult position to be in. As a couple answers have pointed out, your daughter is a minor. The first question I would be asking is who the father is, and then find out how to haul him up on charges of statutory rape.

Next is the question of the baby. If she won't consider abortion, you have some serious discussions ahead. She might be 13, but she's committed an adult act and will become a mother. As such, she's got to stop daydreaming about how lovely it will be to have a baby and consider how she's going to support it. If you're willing to help her (she is 13 after all) that's kind. But if you can't afford it, she's going to have to think about what would be best for her child.

She's fast-forwarded to adulthood, and she's going to have to deal with this like an adult. There are some weighty considerations: raising and schooling the child and finishing her own education while doing that. Be frank with her. This isn't babysitting, it isn't owning a puppy, and it isn't something you take on for 18 years without a lot of thought and planning.

I know it isn't fun for you, either, Mom, but you have to do what's best for your child, too. Making her take a long, thorough look at her situation is the best thing for her right now. Be strong, and good luck--

Answer 5

My sister had a baby last year when she was 14. Let her know that this is a respondsibility as well as a lifelearn lesson. It is no longer about what she wants but about what her and most in importantly the baby needs. She needs to get a working permit and find herself a job so that all of finances will not be on you because although you are probally going to help she still needs to notice what she needs to do and she can work, go to school and raise a child. She is young and she is going to complain but this is a sacrafice she chose to make. Tell her to learn from this and not continue to got out and do the things she was doing to get her in this predicament because it doesn't only affect her it affects you as well because she is a minor.I hope the young man is involved also because a child is not a game or something you can agree on one day and disagree on the next hope i was of some assistance.Love Beautybstar and tell her that it is not to late the world is not over for her but this will make her a stronger and more respondsible person as she gets older. I wish you all the best of luck.Ps if she does know who the father is you all need to sit down and have a talk

Answer 6

Since you are the only source of income available to your daughter and soon-to-be- grandchild, how are you all going to survive? Welfare? Ask your daughter if that is the way she wants to bring her child up? If so, no problem for you guys, but if she says no, then explain that you cannot financially support everyone. She probably won't be able to work because she is so young, so let her devote her time to the baby for a few years. But as soon as she gets old enough, make her get a job. Since your daughter is adament on keeping the child, hopefully she still lives with you at the moment. If so, help her as much as you possibly can. But for now, remind her of the fact that school will no longer be a priority in her life, that baby will come first. I encourage you to help her with the baby, but at the same time, do not take over. Let her know that you know what it is like to be a single mother and explain any difficulties she might face.

Answer 7

first off, stay calm, you do have time to decide. don't make any decisions now. if possible, let her see how demanding a child is, can she babysit or go to a youth center for unwed/teenage moms and see what they go through. show her the cost of having a child, will she breastfeed or bottle feed, show her the cost of formula, diapers, who will care for it when you are at work and she is in school, the cost of day care. is she going to work to help out? maybe after all this sets in maybe she will come a better decision. but also let her know that you are there to help and will support whatever decisions, but that she is the mom, not you, and she is expected to get up at night and do all the other mommy things! also find out who the boy is, she might want to keep it because the daddy wants it, to rule her, or maybe she feels it is the only thing that will love her since the daddy doesn't. look into the emotions behind wanting to keep it. good luck it wont be easy, but there is nothing like the joy of a baby, don't let this baby feel unwanted. make sure it is loved fully! she may not be able to do that when the novelty of it wears off! Good Luck!

Answer 8

She can live with you, and be on wic, and recieve medicade and welfare.

Babies dont happen accidentally. Especially when babies are having babies. She was unsupervised and in a compromising situation. She's a child, you're an adult. It sucks, but the baby is her choice, and subsequently morally partly your responsibility.

The first answer is a lie. Because she is a girl and able to carry a child, she has every right over her body and the child. Legally you cannot make her get an abortion or put it up for adoption. The only thing you can legally do it turn her over to the state and let them raise her and the baby. But if you try to take the baby, or make her get rid of it, she can file abuse charges against you, and win.

Answer 9

Just had to toss in my two cents. Yes your daughter is a minor but she made the decision to have sex (i hope. if not, you should really look into it). Forcing her to have an abortion does not accomplish anything at all. Your daughter will lose a baby, you a grandchild, and your daughters trust. She told you she believed she was pregnant which must have be VERY hard for her. This was her cry for help mom. Talk to her. explain procedures. tell her why you think abortion or adoption is better than keeping the baby and listen to her reasons why she wants it. compromise! you may not want or even be able to support a newborn and if so tell her she may have to get a job. shes young. all i can say is help her. she needs it.

Answer 10

Oh come on could you really "make" her have an abortion? She will be able to get welfare for quite a while after baby is born and help with food and medical. She can get WIC and food stamps. So the cost of the baby will be less than you might think. If you cant do it even after all this then give the child a chance in life and encourage her to adopt the baby out. At least you will know that the child can come and find you when its 18. And you and your daughter gave it life.

Answer 11

well what would u do if u were 14, had a baby and didn't even think about how this would affect other people (you) and how much a baby costs. i'm 13 and i look after my baby brother he's a good baby but when he crys and crys i don't know what to do try him with a bottle or food but it doesn't work then i found out he was teething.it's to many desicions to make for a 14 yr old abortion is the best option because when she's older she won't have a lost kid trying to find his real mother.