should i cheat?

11 ⤊

i went to xmas work party and was kissing my work colleage who says she has fancied me for 11 years, we then went out with a few others for another drink a week later as we broke up from work...we started chating and got very close again,weve spoke on the phone and been texting like mad since.......she says her feeling for me are very strong and basically she is saying she loves me....we are both married with kids.......i can not leave my wife as i love her to bits...she dont love her husband.....we work very close togeather and i would hate anything to come between us at work,meaning 1 of us would have to leave....ive asked her if i can meet up with her in a few days time......should i??????

2006-12-23 08:30:12 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce

2006-12-23 21:36:39 · update #1

21 answers

Hmm....
Let's look at the $$$$
Alimony.....
Divorce Lawyer......
Child support payments....
New place to live.....
Hosing down your credit rating by splitting all of the accounts, moving, etc......

Now, if you went out to a red-light area, a piece of @$$ would cost what, $150 or so, for a quality wh0re?
So, if we place the market value for sex at $150 per toss, average, then look at what this one time would cost in alimony, lawyers, etc.,etc., etc., and the crushing emotional pain your current wife and children will face.....
Do you think it would be worth it?
Really worth it?
Better to let your co-worker know that you are flattered by her attention, but you cannot fulfill her desires for intimacy.

Then there's the old axiom : "never find your honey where you make your money"

Office affairs never stay secret, never last, and NEVER end well.

Think about that, she reports you for sexual harrassment, and you lose the job too.
Beauty, Eh?
Keep it zipped sir, keep it zipped!

2006-12-23 08:42:31 · answer #1 · answered by George Curious 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋

Cheating will ruin your marriage. Even if it is never found out.. the guilt will eat at you.

I think before you consider cheating, please do the following (take it from someone who's been there)..

Evaluate your marriage. For you to even be considering an affair, there is something lacking there. It may seem all good at the moment, and you know you love her to bits (I was like that), but if it was good and you did actually love her the way you think, then you wouldn't even notice this other woman's advances or consider an affair.

Try and identify what is lacking (it might be as simple as it's no longer new).. and then try to deal with it first. Talk to your wife (you don't need to tell her that you are considering an affair, but tell her that you are not feeling 100% happy and discuss ways to deal with it)..

If then nothing seems to fix, you can chose one of the following:
#1 respect your wife and file for a divorce so you can persue this other woman, knowing you did all you can to first fix the situation, and being a respectful person or
#2 have the affair and be willing to risk being caught out, causing your wife even more pain than option #1 or living with the guilt for the rest of your living life until it does come out.

2006-12-23 13:49:21 · answer #2 · answered by annyka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋

No! I can not even believe that you just said "I love my wife to bits" and then you are doing that crap. I mean come on. You either Love your wife or you don't. Yes I'm sure it's possible to love your wife and "like" this girl. but a lot of people are married and look at other people. But that's the thing. they just look. No touchy touchy. You have already kissed this woman in my eye's that's already cheating. You don't have to have sex to be cheating. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but. Common sense dude.

Happy Holiday's...

2006-12-23 08:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋

Stop and think please!!!!!!!!!! She is in a bad relationship and you are saying that you are not. It could be that you just like the attention that she is giving you and she really wants you completely. if you get in a relationship with this lady she may get jealous of your wife and try to ruin things for you so she can have you. Us women can be vicious when it comes to our men and it truly sounds as if you love your wife. You need to decide and either nip this in the bud or go for it but be prepared for the wife to find out! Is the lady at work younger????????????????

2006-12-23 11:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by kd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋

If you want to lose your wife and family, AND go to hell for all eternity, sure, go ahead! You've already kissed the other person, so why not go all the way, even though you've said you love your wife to bits?

What are you, STUPID?!?!? So the other woman has feelings for you, they'll change. So she's in a crappy marriage, she needs to work on it with her husband. Her marriage is her business, and yours is your business. Keep your pants up, your hands to yourself, and your lips on your own wife, and you'll be a happier man for it. Good luck.

2006-12-23 11:21:16 · answer #5 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋

I'm so thankful that you haven't let things go any further than they already have. please don't do this. you will hurt yourself, your wife, your children, your marriage, and your career. and as attracted to this woman as you may be, you have to ask yourself is she worth your wife? your kids? your marriage? your life as you know it? and possibly your job? the respect of your family, friends, loved ones, and colleagues? an affair is never worth what you risk losing. and you risk losing a lot.
please be strong and resist the temptation you're faced with. don't fall into the sin of adultery. tell this woman that you both have too much to lose, and you won't be a part of this anymore. if she persists, tell her to stop it, and mean it. she'll get the hint. and she needs to be busy working on her own marriage, not trying to ruin yours and hers. you're both commited to other people and you both run a high risk of losing so much and hurtings so many.
I will keep you in my prayers. and I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas.

2006-12-23 10:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by atiana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋

Honey in case you have already got information he's cheating ("So i think of my bf is cheating doing the internet element I do have information, yet he hides his "cookies" temp records that could hint what you're doing on line.. ") why would you opt directly to proceed torturing your self finding for further information? in basic terms kick him to the decrease noone merits to be cheated on. i understand its extra handy pronounced than accomplished because of the fact i'm specific you love him, yet love your self extra. No guy is ever worth your tears.

2016-12-15 06:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋

u love youre wife to bits?but are still thinking about meeting this gal?come on now,u do the math,the very thought of meeting this woman should be enuff to tell u thats wrong,u say u love ur wife.
do as u say.

2006-12-23 16:15:41 · answer #8 · answered by allthrottlenobottle2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋

It may seem worth it at the time but I PROMISE YOU IT IS NOT!!! Stop it now- gently somehow- but ASAP- this is a no end for you or her. This is one of those times you want a time machine and go back to when she first mentioned it to you and you made it VERY CLEAR to NO WAY!!! You're in a mess now- good luck!!

2006-12-23 09:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by littledreamergirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋

Go ahead and become a statistic. You will destroy your marriage if you delve into an affair with this "other" woman. WHy would you risk all you have for a cheap romp inthe sack with a loose hussy? Don't be a fool.

2006-12-23 08:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by J.M.C 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋