My niece is very special to me. She is the daughter of my brother that was murdered by his ex wife. It was over custody issues. She was put back into foster care, mercifully with a good family, and I lost contact with her for over 25 years. When I found her again, we were living in the same city and found we have children of the same age (my brother was 21 years older than me) and they get along great. I gratefully thanked him for caring for her so well. Our husbands were like two peas in a pod. When we had the chance to get together, we had a great time together. Our two daughters are very close and the family similarities are very endearing. Then came the phone call where she told me he had left her for a woman he had a 2 year running affair (and a baby) with. Recently, they asked if we could attend a "family party" for the daughter's birthday. I could not bring myself to go because I knew the "other woman" would be there. Was I wrong? My niece has forgiven him but I cannot.
2006-12-23 07:55:22 · 21 answers · asked by Kat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't need to forgive him, he's a lying, cheating, adulterer, who will burn in the fires of hell. He will get his own reward come judgment day, so don't fret over it any longer. Be there for your niece and her daughter, and let them know how much you love them. Please don't put the daughter in the middle by saying bad things about her dad, that hurts her, not him. Some day, when you have a private moment with your niece, let her know exactly how you feel about her ex, and I am sure she will be fine with that.
2006-12-23 08:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by occasionallyrowdy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, You shouldn't be sleeping with your "Best friend's" man. Best friends don't do that to each other! If you are suppose to be her best friend, you would have had her back and not slept with her man. That is just plain wrong. It does not appear to me that she has ever given you any indication that she is homosexual or has any sexual interest in you at all. The fact that she is choosing men over you should tell you that you don't have a shot with her. She has a child with the man she is with now. That is why she is trying to make it work. She never had a child with you. She had a child with your brother and it had nothing to do with you. You do NOT have a right to see that child if the mother doesn't want you to because it is HER child. You were not involved in the conception of that child. She also now has a new child and you have proven yourself to be toxic to that child having a father in the home.... so you gotta go! She is right in calling you a hoe because you had no business messin with all of that like you did. You say you love her but you sleep with her man?? That just aint right. you so did her wrong! If you can't see that, you are a mess and need help. You talk about being jealous of your brother, wanting to have sex with her and having sex with her husband. You were intending to wreck her relationship with him because you wanted her for yourself. It wasn't the neighbors fault, it was yours! YOU had no business doing what you did. I would have tossed you off too and never let you near my baby ever again. Sorry doesn't cut it. You obviously can't be trusted.
2016-05-23 02:16:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no reason to not forgive him and get on with life. You don't know all the issues nor should you because it's not your business. You can be supportive of your niece as she puts her life back together but just because their marriage didn't make it does not mean he is a bad person. He may have made a poor decision but it's his life. Life for all of us is just too short to hold grudges. Forgiving him is for YOU, not for him. He's doing okay. Now you need to forgive so you can do better.
2006-12-23 08:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like your very protective of your family structure and he ruined it for all the people he knew.I understand that feeling very well.Your niece needs you so go to the party and make him look at you all smiling and having fun.That will make him uncomfortable enough because if he knows how you feel, he is not expecting you to show up.
2006-12-23 16:21:10 · answer #4 · answered by Gee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not obligated to forgive him; that is her call to make. However, it would be awkward, at best, for he and the "other woman" to be at a family gathering. It might be best if he throws a birthday party for his daughter separately in the future; that way, it keeps the drama to a minimum. Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-23 08:09:24 · answer #5 · answered by Judy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your niece is wiser than you are. Who cares whether you forgive or not. It is her life. You may or may not go to a birthday party. That is your choice.
There is nothing right or wrong here.
2006-12-23 08:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by StraightDrive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how the ex-husband treats your neice in your eyes. If you see that he is rude, mean, etc, to her, then no, don't forgive him. If he is the opposite of that, then yea, if it were me, i would forgive him.
When you try to forgive him, try to put yourself in his shoes, and everyone elses shoe's that had someting to do with this in some way, shape, or form. Then make your decision.
2006-12-23 08:04:48 · answer #7 · answered by spartamonkey14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who says you have to forgive him . god is in the forgiving business you're not so who says you have to forgive him. To me cheating is the ultimate betrayal. And I am sure you must feel that way too. I feel like if you want to leave then just leave no explanation. good luck and god bless and happy holidays.
2006-12-23 08:24:01 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it 4 ur niece
2006-12-23 08:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by It is what it is 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Forgive everyone.
2006-12-23 07:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by Grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋