People look at us weird, what can I do?

Question

I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 26. Whilst there is absolutely nothing wrong with the age gap and it bothers neither one of us, the problem is that I only look around 15/16.

It also doesn't help that he is 6"4 and I'm 5"2.

I've noticed that the looks we get when walking down the street sometimes have started to bother him, he's scared he looks like a paedophile and although I am happy just to ignore the looks (which definately do happen, they're not in our heads), it genuinely bothers him.

Aside for making myself look older, which is what society is forcing me to do as a consequence, what can I do, I feel guilty for being with him and for making him feel so unacceptable.

Answer 1

Yes, the looks... they suck definitely! My boyfriend and i are the same age but again the one thing that plays into role here is the race game. I'm Asian and he's, well, white. We live in a pretty one mind set area and so people give us the looks. I'm very very petite and I'm about 105 lb and 5'2", he's 200 lb and 6' 2", Looks come and go... but really the only way is to ignore it or really talk to him about it. The looks do get annoying but that isn't worth compromising your own relationship for people who you don't even know and probably will never see again. Again, they are looks and they will continue to be a part of society until eternity. Look past the ugly stares and see what you guys have really. i guess, this is a really bad answer but acceptance of yourself and your boyfriend is really the key, or more like his acceptance for the both of you is the key.

Answer 2

He should just accept the fact that relationships cannot be perfect. If he is bothered about the fact that you look like you have an age gap, talk to him about it; he shouldn't care about people judging him.

If he still cares that much, then maybe don't walk in a boyfriend/girlfriend way together. If you just walk side by side, you could well just be brother and sister or cousins; me and my brother have about 15 years between us! It win't be easy, pretending that you and your boyfriend are not an item, but it seems the best choice. If not, just think about the fact that you will probably never see thses people again, and it shouldn't bother you what they think.

I expect they are only judging you because of their own low self esteem; people will try and bring other people down because they think it will make them feel better about themselves.

You could reverse it, and stare them out. If you feel someone is looking at you and juging you, simply stare them out until they look away. It should be them who feel uncomfortable for being so judgemental, not you.

You don't want something like this to ruin your relationship, so give it a try.

Good Luck and Merry Christmas! x

Answer 3

Hi there!
I don't think it has anything to do with the "appearance" of age difference. I think it has more to do with the height difference.
Because he is so much taller than you...it just catches the eyes of passersby. Even though the height difference doesn't mean a thing. But you are a "stand out couple". And that's not a bad thing at all. But the most important thing here is not to care what others might think or their looking. It means nothing to you two. You will never see these people again, don't let their actions stop you both from being who you are! Or make you feel self conscious. You both know everything is good between you. We should never let what others think, or might think, concern us.
Tell your b/f to not look for these weird glances. Tell him to keep his eyes on you, on where you are going.
Walk proudly!
Good Luck! :)

Answer 4

The hell with what people think providing you are happy together. Discuss your feelings with your man and ask him to be honest and discuss how he feels with you with these peoples ignorant stares. I would suggest that you both hold your heads high and be proud of each other and worry less about what others think as you are the only two that need to know the truth and as you stated the age difference is not that great so why worry. If in years to come you are both still together he will be so grateful to have such a young looking woman. Communicate with your man and be honest with each other, then carry on and be proud of one and other.

Answer 5

If he made such a ridiculous statement as "I think I look like a pedophile" He has issues and you do not need to be a part of them. You are a beautiful young woman and from an older woman's viewpoint; I feel you should revel in your youth! It's not going to stick around! Why would you need to look older? You can look as sophisticated or sexy as you like but you don't have to look older! If you are like some people, who at 30 look 12 that can be difficult, but to look 16 is great! And- you have ID to prove your age so no problem. Lose him, celebrate who you are. You have no reason to experience guilt and deny your own unique person God made you to be!! If you feel this guilt with him- all the more reason to get out now. Getting "looks" from judgemental people is always experianced, but you say " HE thinks", that's where the trouble is-in him.

Answer 6

Age doesn't count. You shouldn't care about what other people think. If you love him and he loves you, you should be happy walking side by side with your head up high. Some people look at age limits but to me it doesn't matter because sometimes the older the more mature that person may be and sometime the older you are the imature you may be. You should never worry about what other people think you live for what you believe in.

Answer 7

I would ask some people who know you well what it is that makes you seem younger. Is it the way you dress? Is there some way your boyfriend can make himself look a bit younger, maybe shaving off a beard or something? Making some small changes in your appearences might solve this problem all together. I think if it is something that is really making him feel uncomfortable, it might be worth it to do that, even though you both really shouldn't have to.

Answer 8

It is not society that is forcing you to be ashamed, it is what you listen to and perceive from others, if you and your boyfriend do not have any problems then let them look and judge you. do not sink down to their level and start judging yourself, how many times have you or your boyfriend seen a strange couple and thought------------ no way----- it happens every day, and for you thank god you are young looking for your age, and for your boyfriend, put on a schoolgirls outfit and tell him enjoy because you will sooner or later start to look your age, all jokes aside-- just be happy together and do not worry about others, you are of age as is you boyfriend--- so why explain. i hope this helps ya--- good luck in life..

Answer 9

you cant do anything unless you wanna walk around cussing people out all the time. just tell him not to worry about it and you shouldnt either. he knows that hes not a pedophile and you know it too. so dont let what other people think and be crazy in love. just be there for each other and trust me honey you are not making him feel unacceptable. if you were he would not still be with you.

Answer 10

If I have been you, i could look at it as though they're admiring you and your lady buddy (that's the case)...in the U. S. some human beings nonetheless frown on interacial couples, even nonetheless it somewhat has got here an prolonged way. in line with threat you're paranoid or self experience of right and incorrect for some reason. whilst human beings stare at me and my lady buddy, i be attentive to that is because of the fact shes alluring...