My husband has a difficult personality, and flips out at almost anything so I feel I often walk on eggshells and still end up getting him mad.
Whenever he makes a mistake and I get angry, he apologizes and I forgive him immediately. If I make a mistake and apologize, he remains angry and ignores me for days. I have to grovel in order for him to forgive me.
Yesterday we went grocery shopping. We've spent a lot of money lately and are REALLY tight in our budget. At the grocery store I decided not to get certain "treat" items (chocolates, ice cream, etc) to save $.
When we finished shopping he says, "I know we can't really afford it, but could I go to the liquor store just this once and get a bottle of whisky"?
I said, "No. We can't afford it. I gave up certain things shopping, so no, you can't get alcohol". He got mad and says I'm selfish. This morning I apologized. He still hasn't forgiven me.
He does things like this often. Is he emotionally controlling? I cant live like this..
2006-12-23 07:37:09 · 10 answers · asked by Delfina D 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This sounds hauntingly familiar. I had no idea when my ex-husband was courting me what a manipulative madman he truly is. What you describe fits to a "T"-the crazymaking of always doing the apologizing even if you're right, irrational anger, etc. Let me tell you, you will NEVER be right and you can't win because all this man is interested in is power over you & control. Take it from a fool who stayed 23 years. My ex's behavior went from subtle insults to increasingly belligerent verbal anger to shoving to slapping to punching & rape. If I had not finally divorced him I am positive I would not be alive today. The answer to your question is this: Yes, your husband is emotionally controlling and you are the co-dependent. I am not trying to be harsh. My life was saved by a friend who had the guts to give it to me straight. Get counseling. Go to the library & get some books on co-dependency. If he won't go to counseling (and he probably won't, THEY don't think anything is wrong with them!) you need to make a decision-to stay or to go. You are so right, you can't live like this. You can only suffer an existence.
Please don't be ashamed. That's what kept me so long in a destructive relationship. I will be happy to share whatever of my experience will help you. Please e-mail me if you like, anytime. I really do care. We're sisters in this, after all.
2006-12-23 09:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by girlfriend 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey face the truth. He is still working out his childhood dilemma's. Do you want to walk thru these years with him.? He's still a child. Can you do it alone? If you want to try, you will need some help. Get to to a good counselor. If you don't he will forever remain a child and you will forever be in despair trying to make him happy, feeling as though you never measure up. Get help if you choose to walk with him. Get truth of the situation.
2006-12-23 08:01:22 · answer #2 · answered by neptune 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya. I dated a guy like this. I left after the 2nd date, cause he blew up over a flat tire. Basically he could be bipolar or alcoholic. Ask him to see a therapist.
2006-12-23 07:39:49 · answer #3 · answered by crazyloonynice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he is very selfish and from the sounds of it childish. try talking to him about it when he is not angry if this doesn't help or he gets angrier it's time for a change try counseling first if he rufuses to go let him know that it isi time for you to go
2006-12-23 07:48:55 · answer #4 · answered by pookypoo1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce this control freak , he is way too controlling and you have to be the center of his universe . No way get a real man one who does not control or decieve or belittle you. good luck and god bless and happy holidays.
2006-12-23 08:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he is emotionally controlling. contact a woman's shelter they will help you get out and in the right direction. You don't need that.
2006-12-23 07:47:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't appologize when you've done nothing wrong. Why don't you tell him you're sick of his ugly @ss and that you're leaving and see how he grovels to get you back.
2006-12-23 07:39:54 · answer #7 · answered by luvguns2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though he has a great deal of issues, anger, alcoholism, take your pick. God bless****
2006-12-23 07:42:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him. It will only get worse. Contact the local battered women's shelter..they will offer you advice.
2006-12-23 08:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wat
2006-12-23 07:41:00 · answer #10 · answered by Allyson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋