2006-12-23 07:34:43 · 25 answers · asked by trick26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your situation is all too common. I know of many couples where the men wants regular sex and the woman doesn't. 1-2 times a month? In my personal opinion Id like to know what is wrong with women?!?!?
It all comes down to communication. Communicate to your wife that you want to compromise on this so that it is the best for you both. Intimacy is a LARGE part of marriage and people don't seem to grasp that. No one should let it die after 5-10-50 years. I also think there is two sides to a lot of things.
1. a man should try to keep his labido in check... decide what is an appropriate amount of times to be in that mood.
2. a woman should not tell her husband 'I have a headache' 'Im busy' or 'go masterbate' when her husband comes on to her. It is a sign of affection a woman Demeans her husband when she doesn't participate in that side of the relationship.
Both made vows, both should understand thru communication what each person wants.
This is why infedility happens so much. This is why divorce rate and 'bitter ex's' happen so much. People aren't willing to compromise and communicate.
I wish you the luck sir... for it is a hard road and it is not one I hope to ever be on. I enjoy the acts of sex and I pray that I will always enjoy that with my partner.
Merry Christmas!
2006-12-23 07:42:30 · answer #1 · answered by Ducati_Chic 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would she care how many times you masturbate??? No, you are definitely taking the wrong approach here. We don't like it when it is made out that you have to have sex, or else this will happen or that will happen. Some women need to be a little romanced. I don't mean you have to do it every time, but it may change her ways if you put some effort in. Give her compliments and attention outside of the bedroom. Tell her how beautiful she is, and how much she turns you on, and how she is the best lover. Give her affection. Make her WANT to make love to you, instead of it feeling like a job that has to meet a certain quota each week. Sit with her on the couch, caress her back, kiss her neck, whisper in her ear. Women are not instantly turned on like most men. We need motivation. lol By making her feel loved and sexy, you will see a change in her I am sure of it. Be passionate, not just wham bam and ty. I know this may seem like a big hassle to you (or maybe not) but I am a woman and I am just sharing a little incite of how to satisfy some of HER needs too. Good luck : ))
2016-05-23 02:14:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey is it all right between you and your wife. I can't imagine if it is she only wants sex 1 - 2X per month. Find out - talk. If she is non-sexual and your are very sexual, it won't work no matter how much anyone thinks it should. Sex is a very deep sharing with someone you love - the ultimate in being with each other and becoming one. If she doesn't feel that way and you do, find out now. Don't commit yourself to a life of despair and frustration. It always is a big thing to make changes but it's also a big thing to look back over your life and find a life of mere survival. The only thing we have here is each other. Don't waste it. If she tells you to masturbate, she is not feeling much for your problem. Solve it no matter what it takes. Hope you find your path.
2006-12-23 07:42:52 · answer #3 · answered by neptune 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your wife what is the problem. Sex is (not the most) important part of marriage. It could be her that have an issue (low sex drive, a medical issue, does not feel good about herself etc.) which can effect her sexual wants. It could also be you. Are you gentle with her, do you get her aroused enough, does she have an orgasm, is she still attracted to you and etc. Ask your wife what is the problem and tell her to be honest. There is something clearly wrong if she only wants sex once or twice a month and it is not fair to you.
2006-12-23 07:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by stergre1975 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's something wrong with this picture. Once or twice a month for a married man, my heart goes out to you. Well talk to your wife. Ask her is she still sexually attracted to you. Ask her is the sex painful to her. If so, she needs to go to the Dr. because painful sex for women is a sign of a problem. Is she happy with her body? Does she ever reach her climax when you all have sex? You need to ask her what's the problem. Ask her WHY are you all having sex once or twice a month. Let her know that you will listen to her reasons and try to make things better. You can't make her do something that she do not want to do but this needs to be discuss because it is important within a marriage.
2006-12-23 07:53:20 · answer #5 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry! Oops, too late! Did you not know that wedding cake decreases sex drive?
Otherwise, get her in the mood through little things:
- Flowers
- Cooking, without making her vomit; good restaurant that will make her feel special and rich (while making you feel poor) if you can't cook.
- Helping around the house (try it, you will be surprised)
- Complements, i.e. how nice her hair smells/looks; how much you like her curves, how good she smells, how you like the way she moves, etc.
- Touching her in simple ways when you are close to her, ideally caress her neck line, knee-bow, behind her arms, lower back (all action points); if you can move in, nibble on her ear lobe.
If all else fails get her liquored up and if you can afford a hot tub, get one it's worth every penny! ;-)
You might want to ask yourself why she is not interested in getting it on. Ask yourself some simple questions like: How have I changed/what has changed since the day when we got it on all the time?
Get some books on the topic, you won't have a hard time finding them!
2006-12-23 07:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by Marc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the umpteenth time, a man is complaining about a sexual drive mis-match.
I continue to contend that women mis-represent their sex drives before marriage. Everything goes - bj's, anal, every night, you name it. The second they get that ring - whammo! - everything changes and the real sex drive comes out. And that's the once a month tough sh*t if you don't like it because you are married to me now so any other poontang means I get half your money just go jack off like you're a frustrated 13 year old you perverted loser kind of sex drive.
If women would just be UP FRONT AND HONEST about this, they'd get married to guys who more closely share their approximate sex drives more often than not. But no-o-O-O-O-o-o-o.
2006-12-23 07:44:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, know that increasing or decreasing someone's sex drive can be extremely difficult. Second, realize that she has not ruled sex completely out, only that something in your relationship has caused her to have a less desire for sex. Could it be the routine, have you begun to take her granted, etc. Try spicing things up a bit and make sure its not anything you are doing....good luck!!!
2006-12-23 08:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by curiousJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you are just a lousy lay. You don't excite her and she doesn't feel as if it's worth the effort. I don't have that problem with my wife, it's just the opposite with her, and it's aggravating.
If i don't give it to her daily, she pouts and gets angry.
Sit down and have a chat with her on the subject and find out what her problem is. Even though mine is over active i'd be dismayed if i only got it as often as you do.
2006-12-23 07:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to get a a divorce eventually. Because if your wife has a "cap" on sex like THAT (1-2 x's per month?? Something's WRONG) - it makes me wonder how long you can put up with that before you either cheat or leave. And she told you to "masturbate"??? Yea .... something's wrong
2006-12-23 07:37:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋