i have a bf i have been with for 5 years ..he doesnt wanna marry me...which i should be ok with..we dont have the best relationship..but im obsessed with him marrying me...what is my deal
2006-12-23 07:02:04 · 21 answers · asked by freesiahigh7814 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok - well, you're crazy... just staying together for five years in a not so great relationship is kinda nuts... and knowing he doesn't want to marry you, when you know you want to get married... well thats just plain nuts.
You know he's not going to marry you - and the relationship is just taking up time...
You ought to move on and stop wasting time with this guy... you need to find someone deserving of you, and who wants you for you, in a marriage.
I've been in similar relationships... twice in fact - and all I got out of those two relationships was 11 years of my life wasted...
Don't do the same thing to yourself.
Just my .01
-dh
2006-12-23 16:11:19 · answer #1 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and I are in the same boat. Ive been with my boyfriend (age31 and im 19) for almost 4 years now. He says if he marries thats the only time so he wants to get it right. I understand that, but I feel that in order for me to truely open up and let down my walls he has to marry me because then its permanent. But he says that he wants kids in the next 2 to 3 years. but wants to be married for at least 5 before the kids come. I think hes just stalling for time. your not nuts girl we all dream out marriage some more than others.
2006-12-23 15:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't nuts, you're just confused. After five years, most women would be thinking about marriage, so you aren't unusual there. But if your boyfriend doesn't want to marry you -- and if you don't have the best relationship -- you're just wasting time by hanging on and wishing for something that isn't going to happen.
Dump him, find yourself a new fella, and enjoy life. It's too short to be wasted in a no-brainer situation.
2006-12-23 15:06:21 · answer #3 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
easy. your afraid of loosing him so you think by him marrying you you will feel more secure and he wont be able to run from you.
Your not nuts, But you do seem to be a little insecure in your life.
Look, you have already admitted to us that you don't have a great relationship with him,he don't want to marry you.I think your just afraid of a change because you have been with the same man for 5 years and are unfamiliar with the idea of changing that.
You need to realize in your mind that what you have has come to a dead end.You need to start finding who you are in your mind and what you expect from your life.Then go out and pursue some of that outside of a relationship.Before too long you will develop new found confidence in yourself and find the man who equally loves you as you do him and do just fine.
2006-12-23 15:11:11 · answer #4 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its ur call
u r lookin for marriage, and u spent five years with this guy, and he doesn't wanna marry u.
now here's ur options.
5 years is pretty long to decide if u wnna marry someone or not.
and since ur seekin marriage and he;s not, u r better off without him.
talk to him, tell him that u need to saddle down, and make a family, theres nothin wrong with this, this is wt all ppl want.
and by the way, i dont really know about u,but ppl in love usually marry each other, specially if they spent sometime together.
2006-12-23 15:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by DB9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem to just want to be married. Let me tell you that you will be making a mistake, if this relationship is not good now, why would you dedicate your life to such a person, notwithstanding that he does not want to make this commitment to you, so how about finding someone who will? After all, you invested five years in this, consider this a lost cause and stop putting your life on hold. Dump the guy and move on.
2006-12-23 15:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him then I understand why you want to marry him but if this is your way in your mind that you can say you won ! then you really should move on.. Games do nothing accept inflect pain upon one party in the relationship. Keep your head up and do the right thing , treat people how you would want to be treated ... What comes around , goes around.. Best of luck !
2006-12-23 15:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by thingsthatreallymatter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women always look to the future, wanting a higher sense of commitment than they have. Marriage is the ultimate commitment, and while some people worship the idea and want it....others are afraid of that level of commitment.
Marriage shouldn't change anything, and the way you two treat your relationship right now, should be the same way you treat it afterwards.
2006-12-23 15:04:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. He doesn't want to marry you, but you want to be wed... is that what I'm hearing? Maybe he's not your one and only. If the relationship isn't the best... what do you have to loose? I'm not telling you to break up with him or anything.. BUT if you want to get married and he doesn't... you two are on different pages in life. Your not crazy but your problem is.
best of luck
--bowski--
2006-12-23 15:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by Bowski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are crazy! To be with someone that is afraid to get married to you. and to be in not so good relationship..waste for both of you! get over the "obsession" and get on to something new!!
2006-12-23 15:06:58 · answer #10 · answered by Jeff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋