How can I forget my past and like who I am?

Question

I'm 25 yr old. My life has sucked since I was 16 b/c that's when I started hating myself. The reason is b/c many people teased me about my boyish figure, My friends & classmates didn't like me, I had a really strict mom who didn't let me do anything, I've never had a boyfriend, and I had a bad college experience. My 20s have been the worst cause I'm constantly feeling lonely and rejected. How do I forget my past and the people who made me feel like a loser?

Answer 1

If you had cancer you would go to a medical doctor.

Well you have a sort of "self-esteem cancer"......go to a therapist.

When you find the right one you'll be surprised how fast you can turn your life around and get on the right track.

Stop wasting anymore time and find someone to help you.

Answer 2

Draw a line. You can make it a hypothetical line, or you can actually get a piece of chalk and draw a line on the floor. One side is yesterday. The other side is today and tomorrow.
If you are 25 -- are you still living at home? Or are you a confident adult who is now out on her own?
Teenagers can be cruel, sometimes intentionally and sometimes without realizing it. What happened in high school and college is behind you. It can't be changed, so there's no point in fretting about it. But you can take control of your life from this point on. Find new friends - there are lots of wonderful people out there, and you need to associate with them, not the losers who dogged your past. Find them through things like volunteer work (people who volunteer are special and make wonderful friends) Find them through sports or other activities. Find them through cultural activities. Join an art appreciation group, or a music appreciation group, or a book group, or a fine dining group or a second language learning group or? --- there are literally thousands of different kinds of groups out there. Find something that interests you and join other people in understanding that topic. Make friends at work, but make other friends as well.
If you live in a small town you may even consider moving, to start afresh. But that depends on your job situation -- whether you have a good job with lots of potential, in which case you may wish to stay, or whether it's just an entry level job with not much future, in which case there's really nothing to hold you there.
The bottom line is, you can't change the past. You can't change the people who dissed you. But you can disassociate yourself from them. You aren't a loser because you've got spunk and ambition.
There's a whole new year ahead of you. Go ahead -- draw that line on the floor, and don't let any of those old memories haunt you. They aren't worth worrying about. Think positive, plan for an exciting future -- then go for it.

Happy New Year to you

Answer 3

First of all you just remember that God made you and he doesn't make junk. You are a unique and beautiful human being that has many fine and decent qualities that make you special. You are not the person that other people call you, they have the problem. Remember that people that pick on others and call others names and treat them badly are not nice people. Don't allow them to cause you to wast one minute of your life thinking about them, they are to be pitied because they are not nice. I am sorry you went through all this but, I believe things happen for a reason. This has taught you to feel what others would feel if you did this to them so you would never be someone like that and you can tell other people how it felt and maybe talk to people that are having a hard time like you did. Maybe mentor a young person who has no one to talk to by joining Big Brother Big Sister or some other program to help young people. Give back your bad experiences to create good ones for the future. Also, when God forgives us for our sins or faults he forgets them, so we need to forget all the bad things too. Toss them into the lake of forgetfulness, to never be thought of again. If you have to write the things down and then burn the paper and make it a final act of forgetting and moving forward. This is my advice and I know it is not easy but, you are a good person and no one has the right to steal your happiness. You deserve to be happy like everyone else. No one is happy every minute but we are able to have moments of real happiness and not think of all the bad things all the time. Just forget those awful people. Be good to yourself and be around people that you know care about you and that you can trust. They are all you need. Most real good friends are maybe two or three in a life time. So, find those and leave the rest behind. God bless you. Merry Christmas.

Answer 4

You must love yourself before you can forget the pass b/c then and only then you can feel good about yourself and not be hurt when someone says bad thinks about you. If you live where these people live-- move away and start new. Moving away helps b/c the area will be new and fresh. Loving yourself may sound corny b/c that's how i was feeling. Now i feel great and i can stand on my own without the approvals of others. Start with something you love to do and spend time doing it and time will heal the pass as long as you don't dwell on what people think. Believing in oneself will help you grow out of the same old stuff you have around you each day. and finally maybe is time to grow up and find what make you happy and not what makes others happy. good luck and i will pray for you.

Answer 5

Don't be so hard on yourself, a lot of girls have not a boyish figure a lanky figure. Just try to love yourself first and then work on your walk is probably what their saying is boyish. You are 25 years old that isn't old woman, but if you think everybody is putting you down, that probably isn't the way it is At all. You feel unattractive hold your head up high go, where there is to a place that will work with you on what your beauty points are and work with them. Everybody has something pretty about them just stop hating yourself, A Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

Answer 6

Not to sound cynical, but all your woes are ME ME ME! WOE IS ME!

Love and self acceptance is the path to happiness, everybody knows that...we never get anything done if we whine about it...Your past has shaped who you are now...if you're serious about getting out of this, find God...

When you compare your woes to the famines of this world, orphans, child sex slaves, third world countries, you're in luxury.

Stop THINKING like a loser and you won't be one, You are what you think! So what if you have a boyish figure? We can't all have big boobs and butt! Make the most of what you have, when you toughen up, people will notice and respond...bottom line is if you don't respect yourself, then why should anyoneelse?

Answer 7

Look for small things you like about yourself. Like for example your hair or eyes. Eventually, you will find more and more things you like about yourself. Chances are if you see all the good features of you, others will too (including guys!). Just have fun with life. If you like reading, for example, join a book club. This is a great way to meet people. And also, having a boyish figure is not a bad thing at all. I mean, look at all those models out there. Go shopping and find clothes that look good on you. If you want to excentuate your curves, then I suggest looking for things with belts. Good luck. I hope this helps.

Answer 8

THE QUESTION HERE IS .... ARE YOU A LOOSER??? NO RIGHT?

THEN THERE IS A FEW THINGS YOU COULD DO. MAYBE YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE WHAT UR ABOUT TO READ BUT IS A TRY.

YOU MIGHT NEED TO FIND SOME ONE TO TALK TO ... AM NOT SAYING UR NUTS AM JUST SAYING U MIGHT NEED TO FIND A DOCTOR THAT WILL HELP YOU BUILT BACK UR SELF ESTEEM AND GIVE YOUR TOOLS TO CONTINUE WITH LIFE.

I DID, IN MY WORST TIME A FRIEND TOLD ME THE SAME AND I GAIN MIORE THAN I WOULD EVER GAIN. TODAY I LOVE MYSELF AND I WILL ALWAYS THANK MY DOCTOR THAT GAVE ME THE TOOLS TO GO ON.

UR NOT A LOOSER, THERE ARE STUPID PEOPLE THAT THINK THE SUN SHINE WHEN EVER THEY WAKE UP AND THE REALITY IS THAT IT DOESNT.

YOU CAN ALSO MOVE OUT AND START NEW IN A FRESH CITY. NEW CITY NEW FRIENDS.

Answer 9

You dont forget your past , it's just in the back of your head , but what you try to do is use your past as a motivation for you to make your future better! Divy yourself up! Make some friends , I know people can be mean , but you have to learn to play the game or your lifes going to be TOUGH

Answer 10

Wow, that's tough. I know how you feel tho' I was in my late teens when I started really hating my life...

I ended up seeing a councilor/therapist, and was diagnosed with depression... the anti-depressants helped a lot over time, as did discussing how I felt with other people like myself, and with my therapist.

We can never forget our pasts, but we can learn to accept the past, and learn to deal with how its made us feel, both then, and now...

It will always come back to haunt us, but over time it comes back less and less often...

I know that's probably not the answer you were looking for - but its all I've found over the years.

-dh