She's the type that just expects me to deal with her attitude with a take it or leave it mentality.She gets that part from her mother. Her mother is such a negative and difficult person and she reminds me a lot of her. But to get to my point, when I have a concern, I like to talk about it right away and settle the problem right then and there, but she thinks i'm trying to argue when I'm not. For the first time ever she actually cussed at me last night and I felt that a line was crossed that never should have been. Little by little the respect in our relationship will deteriorate if that keeps happening. And to add a little color to this question I am a Christian and she "kinda" is too. She's prayed the Lord's prayer of forgiveness twice already but I dont see the fruit of the Spirit....... I've realized the root of our problem is her pride and my impatience with her. She is the most loving person in this world, but she can also be the devil incarnate. How do I deal with her!?
2006-12-23 06:05:33 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Since you are a Christian, you must be aware that the devil always trys to get to those closest to us. And since her walk in her faith is not as strong and newer than yours. There it is. However, she must take some responsibility for her behaviors, and come to the painful realization that she is not a child at home anymore. The only place she is a princess and a spoiled child is at home with mommy and daddy! She is now a grown woman and a wife. There fore she needs to consider you and your feelings in everything. The two of you are going to have to sit down and develop ways to discuss and have fair fighting and agree to disagree. Compromise is a great assets to any marriage and a necessary one at that. You may want to consider getting some marriage counseling, there are a great deal of marriage counselors who are specialized in Christian counseling techniques. And why don't you try a little prayer together. I wish you the best, Good luck to you both. Have a blessed Christmas and a joyous New Year! I will keep the two of you in my prayers. God bless**** What ever you do, do not pray for patience, it will be tried at every corner. Pray for wisdom and guidance!
2006-12-23 06:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with your minister and see if knows of couples in the same boat or who have been in same situation and see if they will talk to both of you,it is better to see the problem first hand then to try and deal with it alone.Maybe she needs a wake up call. If all else fails walk out on her for a few days and leave her alone,this will give her time to cool off and possibly open her eyes to what she is doing to the relationship. It is best to be open and honest in a marriage but if she don't want to listen or help resolve the problems then take the first step toward getting out of the situation no sense both of you being miserable. Good luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-23 06:16:38 · answer #2 · answered by davec4real_02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny you mention this. My man and I sound a bit like you--we are also Christians. Praying is one of the ONLY things that will get you through. I'm proud and strong-willed. I don't know how my man deals with me. I do know that his patience and loving guidance keep me from being hateful. It's true, patience will help. However, every contention stems from pride.
Ask her not to cuss at you. Ask her very nicely. Apologize for making it look like you wanted to start a fight (even if you don't think you need to). Remind her that you love her. Tell her that yours and her relationship needs to be centered on Christ, and that you want to work on it, perhaps. I hope things will go well for you.
Just a little side note, don't pray for patience! "For by the trying of your faith cometh patience," quoth the Apostle Paul! haha!
2006-12-23 06:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you had any idea what being a christian was you would not have typed the words you did on this board. Can you say judgmental,prideful,self righteous, if you badger her until she calls you a b@stard or mother f@cker who has actually crossed the line? Sounds like you need to do some self plucking before you worry about what is wrong with your lady.
2006-12-23 06:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your wife I mean really love her ? The reason why I ask is because your wife sounds like she may be having some problems of her own and she might not know how to talk to you about them . please don,t take offense to this but it sounds to me like she got really mad at you because you attacked her . I don't mean literally Like fighting but I know when my husband and I talk some times I feel like I am being attacked rather than just talking things out if you are going to talk things out I suggest a neutral territory where you both can vent your feelings. You said that she is kinda a christian and that you don't see the fruit of the spirit but answer this how can she be the most loving person in the world without it . I know that you are a man and a christian but her relationship with God is between her and God . You might not be able to see anything because she simply might not want to share that with you . She won't share that with you if she feels like she always has to defend not only herself but her family to . my advice is to pray about it , give it to the Lord , relax and remember the reasons why you fell in love with her . I
2006-12-23 06:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to a Christian marriage counselor, It sounds like BOTH of you have some issues that need to be addressed, and a counselor would help. Don't go one or two times; make it a "date" of once a week for a few months, then taper off. Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-23 06:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by Judy W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you are a Christian, you should pray for patience and pray for the strength to be able to see her side of issues. When you have a concern that needs to be settled, pray for guidance and maybe you will find the concern isn't all that important in the first place.
2006-12-23 06:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her you are going on a vacation alone to think about the future of your relationship, so you can find out if you can live the rest of your life with a woman who does not respect you and when you are back you will talk. this i hope will draw her attention and don't be scared, because dogs that bark are the most cowards.
2006-12-23 06:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by MWALA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may resent that you insist she play by your rules. If you are too controlling and rigid, you will continue to frustrate her. Relax and enjoy the good things about your relationship! Perhaps you two would benefit from marriage counseling.
2006-12-23 06:13:34 · answer #9 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And you did not know about this before you got married? It won't change if your wife is not willing to change, or you learn to shut up and live your life. My sympathies.... good luck
2006-12-23 06:12:34 · answer #10 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋