How do you deal with your significant others family who dislike you?

Question

I have been seeing the same guy for 5 years. He has 5 kids between the ages of 17 and 30. They have told their dad (my significant other) that they do not like me.
These kids are by 2 seperate mothers and ironically enough, I seem to get along with the 1st ex wife fine. The adult kids seem to have problems keeping their bills paid and making there way in the world. He has bought them all at least 2 cars a piece. One got a DUI and had to sell his car to pay a fine and he just recently moved out of his dads house at 28 yrs old because his girlfriend is pregnant and he finally decided he should get out. I bet they will be back in 6 months. One daughter shops herself into total debt, She lived with her husband and 2 kids with her dad and kept listening in on the other phone while he and I talked. I finally told her exactly what I thought of her. She has never worked ever at a job. Today the daughter has dads car because she let hers get re possessed. 1st car she ever tried to buy.

HIs son needed money, so I paid him like you would a normal plumber to come fix my kitchen sink drain which fell apart. I paid over $100 bucks for it and now he says, he doesnt like me. I suppose it is because I work full time, raised a family by myself, My kids both work full time. I insist that they make it on their own. I dont want to be diabetic, hypertansive, have colitis, renal disease and be working like a dog to support my family like my significant other does. He is working himself to death because these kids have the opinion he owes them. He is killing himself. He is so naive, and when he was nearly dead in the hospital, his kids brought his paycheck for his signature so they could "help him out". I am disqusted, and have had enought. I think I need to bail out now. I am crazy about him, but not enough to watch this go on. How should I deal with this?

Answer 1

u will never win this battle, they do not like u, because u are a hard worker, u have their number, and u stand in the way of them being able to use their dad. sometimes it is best not to marry a man who has kids, who are adults but still immature. they are spending your marital as setts and hurting your relationship.if they don't like u they will find a way to get dad to leave u, especially if there is constant turmoil, or if u stand in their way when they want something, know what should be done but i doubt if your hubby is willing to do it. had a stepson just like them, and a stepdaughter , nothing but 10 years of hell, putting up with not being liked, or treated fairly. than just when they all moved out they began having babies, that they brought over for him to babysit, and even the grand kid's had attitudes. so finally he left me, and we divorced and end of story.

Answer 2

Well honey you are fighting a loosing battle. I was in a similar situation and although I loved my guy I had to step away. He resented my feelings about the children. I resented the kids. Thing is, they will always be his babies no matter how old they are. As much as you like the man, would you really like a guy who would side with his girlfriend over the kids? (if he does stuff like that that might explain the children's character.) Either make nice or stop wasting your time. Oh I stopped wasting my time.

Answer 3

"As sands through the hour glass....These are the days of our lives" Girl, why would you want to be involved in this red neck family soup opera? You sound like an intelligent woman! Daddy won't let his kids down. That's a fact of life. I've got one of these leeches too. I know what they are and there is nothing I can do about it. Will I let them sink? Nope. Something about blood being thicker than water and the such. Run, run for the hills! You can do better. Hell, you can do better if you'd stayed single!

Answer 4

Sounds like he is trying to be a friend instead of a parent. Unfortunately, he isn't helping them in the long run. What happens if he isn't around to help them out? They won't know how to take care of themselves. Really sad. I have a cousin who is in her 30s and cannot function without her dad. If I were you, I would tell him to either let them fall on their own, dont be there to pick them up, or else you have to leave. If you stay in this type of environment he will eventually take you down with him....trust me I know

Answer 5

definite. I had a boyfriend years in the past that I reallllyyy somewhat enjoyed. basically my sister honestly disliked him. And with sturdy reason come to be sure later. counting on your relationship with your sister, i could take her issues under consideration. If the bond is close and sturdy, talk along with her. If she has constantly been advise and nasty and jealous, pay her no thoughts. because I had a sturdy relationship w my sister, I asked her what became incorrect and she or he instructed me that there became basically some thing approximately him she did no longer like. properly i did no longer hear on the time yet come to be sure she became precise. He became an entire jerk.

Answer 6

this is a sad situation. i know it must be hard to see your boyfriend getting immaturely used. but these are family problems. although it hurts to watch it, it may be better to just sit back and let him deal with it. you may want to talk to him about it. i would never put down his kids in front of him though. i don't know if he could handle it. no matter what they are his kids and he loves them. I would just talk to him about it. let him know his kids are grown and you think they should assume some responsibility for their own lives. if this doesn't happen it could start affecting your lives as a couple. let him know he deserves to be happy too.

Answer 7

This family obviously has a lot of stress, however it is not your problem. You have your own stress. If your significant others children do not like you that is stress in itself. Just don't let that become personal when it is just that they are trying to get rid of that stress. Just befriend them as best you can as long as it doesn't bring you harm.

Answer 8

They sound like they need a bite of tough love, too spoiled and you should not take this personally. You are just a threat to thier financial needs...Just be polite and go with the flow. They sound like BRATS...sorry to be blunt but they think your in thier way of thier meal ticket.

Answer 9

I think they are worried that you may make their dad see sense and stop bailing them out all the time!!!!

Answer 10

Seems it's a mutual disliking. You shouldn't worry about them not liking you, when you obviously think negatively about them.