I am so frustrated with this. For example, his license plates expired 10 days ago and he waited untill today at the last minute to try to get them. Of course the BMV was getting ready to close and he couldn't find his title or registration. So needless to say, he didn't get it done, and now that its Christmas he wont be able to get them untill tuesday. So we have to try to drive 45 minutes to his parents house with expired plates and risk getting in trouble on Christmas Eve. Not to mention I still have to finish shopping tonight. I asked him why he waited till the last minute and he tried to tell me that he has been looking for the paperwork for the past couple of days, so why did he stop looking for them untill now???? Of course he got mad at me for asking that and making that point and started cussing at me about it! Why does he always do stuff like this and end up screwing us over?
2006-12-23 04:05:56 · 16 answers · asked by MiZmeL 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did remind him, and I can't go out and do it for him. I don't have a license right now and I am at home with the kids all the time. Also, I am not above reproach, and I don't speak AT him I do communicate WITH him about stuff like this.
2006-12-23 04:13:01 · update #1
Lots of people live like this. Either love him or move on.
2006-12-23 04:07:39 · answer #1 · answered by frankmilano610 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Short answer .. he's just a guy. He puts things off. It's a hard habit to break. It can be done but he has to motivate himself, and oddly enough, if you harp on him he'll dig in his heels and refuse to change "on principle." I'm a guy and I admit, guys are sometimes pretty stupid. NOW ... when you get pulled over at a Christmas check point and ticketed for the expired plates, please promise me you'll try hard not to give the "I told you so" speech, because that will only make things worse. Maybe, if you can coax him to make the speech himself, it would better help him motivate himself to change. (You: "Gosh, if we had only found the paperwork before the deadline, maybe we wouldn't be facing this $100 ticket now...what do you think?") I bet there are lots of lovable things about this big lug that you could focus on, and maybe you could take charge of reminding him of things he has to do that day.... ("Now remember, honey, if you find time, the license tags are about to expire, and we have to look up the registration. Where did you say you thought that was again?") Of course this isn't right or fair. Guys are WAY stupid sometimes. But react with love and he'll get better eventually, I believe it. Good luck.
2006-12-23 04:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by David W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not worth taking the risk of driving with expired plates. The responsible thing to do is take the Christmas shopping pressure off (a blessing in disguise) and consider spending your remaining days at home until you can get the license plates renewed.
The ire of your family at your absence on Christmas Eve is far more tolerable than trying to deal with the law enforcement agencies if you do happen to be caught -- and the holiday season is the prime time for law enforcement agencies on road watch.
2006-12-23 04:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by idahdespida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just born procrastinators. Likely, you are not going to change him. Though I do wonder, if you knew about it personally, why didn't you go and renew the plates yourself?? It sounds like you drive too? Or perhaps mention it to him, pull the paperwork together yourself, and hand it to him to get his butt down there. If you know procrastination is his weakness, then you are going to have to take more initiative because he just doesn't seem to want to do it. Better for you to spend your energy making the effort to resolve it ahead of time, rather than spending your energy fighting about it in the aftermath.
I just read your update. And I would say, if that is the case, then pretty much you are screwed. You are going to have to decide if it is worth it to you to put up with this or not. Is he a good husband and father otherwise? He isn't going to change. Obviously, he is oblivious to the anxiety it causes you. So either decide if this one thing is enough to end your marriage over, or learn to accept it. There isn't a whole lot more you can do about it.
2006-12-23 04:11:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people procrastinate in the hopes that whatever issue they have to address will just "go away." Maybe you should suggest to him that due to his "procrastination" you would rather not risk going to his parent's home 45 minutes away. Just a thought. I believe that if he chooses to drive with expired plates, then he will have to face the consequences for procrastinating. I bet if that does happen, he won't forget next time.
2006-12-23 04:09:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well get your license and then get a vehicle of your own, even a little cheap thing and keep it registered and stuff, do not no his work for him he needs to grow up and quit with the childish behavior. He will wish like heck he had been a grownup and taken care of it when it first came in when he gets a ticket for it.
2006-12-23 04:18:51 · answer #6 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm a bit like this myself, I put things off thinking I have time then all of a sudden time runs out! It's just the way some of us are, I guess. Or maybe he doesn't want to drive over Christmas so he can have a few drinks?
2006-12-23 04:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by Ahwell 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont freak out.... this kind of stuff is not life or death lady... Its christmas time and you are on the computer complaining about your husband... who has the real problem here? not him.
Start thinking about what really matters and looking at the good things about your husband instead of all the bad things...
Some people are just like that.. they forget things, procrastinate... are not organized.. probably the way his parents brought him up ya know... dont get on to him so bad... help him.. it takes time to learn to be organized.
2006-12-23 04:52:19 · answer #8 · answered by yo mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only question i have is what are you doing in the relationship? if he is responsible for everything and screws it up what are you responsible for that you are somehow above reproach. take some of the burden off him or use gentle reminders to guide him. or quit making things worse.
2006-12-23 04:08:40 · answer #9 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PERHAPS you need a man's perspective? HE does these thing to get to you!
PERHAPS, you are Not Communicating with HIM, but Simply SPEAKING AT HIM?
OPEN Communication is MORE IMPORTANT THAN SEX!
Try that FIRST, and then everything ELSE will just fall into place!
Thanks, RR
2006-12-23 04:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to be the one to make sure things get done in a timely manner and are taken care of properly. He simple doesn't have it in him to be responsible. As the saying goes....if you want something done right, do it yourself.
2006-12-23 04:15:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋