We have been married for almost 7 years and our relationship is rocky, we have 5 kids and I have forgotten how to be sexy, and he has forgotten how to make me feel sexy I think! He says I am not spontanious enough!! But to get him to do anything is like pulling teeth, I want to feel sexy and spice things up but I truly dont know how or what to do... After 5 kids my body isnt the same and not to mention to act sexy in lingerie I feel silly, can you please help this BBW feel that way again so I can save my marriage!!!
2006-12-23 03:47:52 · 10 answers · asked by silentpassion04 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What a tough one! ok here goes.
#1) what is your definition of spontaneous? spontaneous does not mean u come to bed in lingerie instead of your usual gramma panties and ratty old T-Shirt. Spontaneous is, wakin him up to oral pleasure. havin him pull into the parkin lot of the Supermarket and ridin him as the guy is draggin the trash out to the dumpster your parked beside. got it? are u spontaneous?
#2) Personally speakin, i am NEVER more in to it than when i've never been with a particular girl. in other words the only thing better than C00CHIE is new C00CHIE. after i've banged a chick a couple dozen times my interest in doing her tails off. what can a chick do?? not much. but teasing helps. stop havin sex in the fetal position, in the bed, at exactly 1137 every night after the kids go to bed. stop havin sex in the bedroom period. when he tries to finger u, let him for a few and then say, "hey stop!, your gonna start somethin u can't finish", then turn over. same goes when he goes for the breast, etc.
3) most important thing to remember is u can not continue to do the same things and expect new results. Also the onus to initiate can not and does not fall solely on the man. what do i mean by initiate? refer to #1.
good luck! now vote me best answer!!
2006-12-23 04:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to feel sexy you have to love yourself first, so - either lose the weight or work the weight - that's your first decision.
See if they have a strip or pole exercise class in your town. You'll be exercising AND feeling sexy! But getting out and doing something for yourself is certainly going to help your self esteem!
BBW can still be beautiful. Take a little time to love yourself, a little makeup, a cute hairstyle (nothing drastic, just something quick because you don't have time with 5 kids! I know, I have three!!), buy a new perfume a subtle one, not a reeky one! lol!
Anyway, I think the most important thing I'm trying to say is to love yourself first. The rest will come. Do you go to church? Most churches have really good womens groups and church counseling!
2006-12-23 03:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by LittleFreedom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your peers piffle and follow your heart, boy, but your body, too! Sex, protected one, can be great even though you only like someone very much, you feel a strong attraction...nevertheless you're not madly in love and, or better as Love can be wonderful also without sex (For ex. when lovers live far away from each other). Of course the best sex is when you're in love, but if you fall in love at 40 years old or later? Mhmm maybe better making practice so as to be more appreciated, then....
2016-03-13 21:36:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
from a guy: 5 kids, you've probably got limited cash. So instead of spending all the money, spend all the time instead. Look, i bet he misses the old days before kids. I know i do. So every once in awhile my wife doesn't something like when we were dating. We go to movies, dinner and a make out session in the car. But if that's not for you or him, you do something yourself to remind you of what it was like, and what you were like. Then rock his world, just take control of him. Show real passion. Something he appreciate, i'm sure. You can only feel sexy if you think sexy, and make him totally forget about kids, even if it's just for a couple hours
2006-12-23 04:02:04 · answer #4 · answered by Puzzeled 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...first of all, you should have a serious conversation with him about your feelings.....see where he stands...then you need to take some steps so that you feel better about yourself....sounds like you have let yourself go....can't blame 5 kids forever.....go to the gym....start losing some weight....get a manicure and pedicure .....buy some new lingerie...doesn't have to be skimpy little sex kitten stuff...just pretty new stuff that will make you feel good.....try to feel better about who you are as a person and think about the things that you love about your husband.....if you can do those things...then you will be able to be more spontaneous in your lovemaking .......good luck
2006-12-23 03:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just because you feel silly wearing lingerie doesn't mean he doesn't like to see you in it. why are you wearing it? is it for you, OR for him? don't worry about what you think of it, worry about what HE thinks. if he likes silk, wear the silk, even if you don't like it. women are more critical of their bodies than men are. you may not like the way you look, but if he loves you, he will love you for who you are, not the size of your body. try taking charge, seduce him for a change. why is it the women think that guys have to start something in the bedroom. tell him you want him NOW! and ask if he has any special requests. then open up to him, share your feelings/thoughts/ DESIRES, etc. make him feel like the king of your world, and he will want to make you feel like a queen.
2006-12-23 03:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by forjj 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
so your having trouble on your sex life ha!! better yet don't waste your time on that fukking husband of yours... i wonder why you married that lunatic sex maniac. your husband is a sex maniac ,marriage is not just sex its a family relationship like raising children, helping one another in times of trouble, companionship or even traveling abroad with your children or going to work and earn a living for your family. if your husband think only about sex on you .than being a good father like taking his kid to baseball or whatever or having a wife that can cook, wash the dishes or taking care of the children or a housewife ... rather than sex all the time . then its good to leave that good for nothing guy he will just try to cheat on you if he cannot control his sex habit like finding a hooker or another young girl so just get a divorced and find a responsible husband okay.
2006-12-23 04:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
size have nothing to do with attitude and sex. it is probably the stress of the kids, work, and things. try this, set up a weekend alone for u and your hubby, out of the house, get some wine, or alcohol of your choice, order some take in food, possibly get some massage oil, and then let the mood and the alcohol take its course and i bet u will be PLEASANTLY surprized
2006-12-23 03:54:23 · answer #8 · answered by keithy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think that you could take the steps to improve your sex appeal (and its not easy!!) i think that its important to maintain yourself, even in marriage. maybe when im older ill let myself go, but i know that i am much happier with myself if i know that i got it goin on. we like what is attractive to the eye
2006-12-23 04:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by *never give up* 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he has a mobile/cell phone, then send him dirty messages... Tell him your deepest darkest desires and needs... Describe them in GRAPHIC detail...
If you need a hand, gimme a shout... ;)
2006-12-23 03:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋