Is the grass greener on the other side ??

Question

I would like to hear all your stories if you left your spouse for someone you had been having an affair with , are you happier or have you any regrets ??

Just curious .

As stated i am just curious . Thankfully i have been with my husband for 17 years and i love him dearly still . I would never cheat .

Answer 1

First let me congratulate you on 17 years of marriage. Not many relationships last even 5 years.

I've experienced both sides of this type of situation. I was married to my 1st wife for 8 years. Since I traveled continually in my job and was only home on weekends, I never suspected she was having an affair. Although her 3 sisters had hinted repeatedly throughout our marriage that something was amiss.

She freely admitted she had been having numerous affairs almost from the very first week of our marriage. She couldn't at that moment remember exactly how many she'd had but said probably over 10 different men in 6 years.

She said she still loved me, that our sex life was great, but that i didn't own her and she could have sex with anyone she chose to have it with.

I suggested counseling for both of us, she said it would be a waste of money. We both worked for the government, and not wanting to lose either of us from our departments, the government paid 100% of the cost of counseling. We engaged in counseling for 2 years to no avail. She still continued to see other men, all the while claiming that our sex life was great better than with other men she'd ever had, telling this to our counselor.

Finally I said enough is enough, we had a pre-nuptial agreement that would require only a judges signature to obtain a divorce. This agreement would allow either party to submit to a judge for signature and a divorce without any further notice to the other party.

The initiator of the agreement would receive 90% of the assets and other party would receive the balance of the assets or 10% and pay the court costs.

One particular thursday night I was late getting into town from my out of town work assignment, driving by a local private club I saw my wife's car sitting at the curb in front. I stopped entered the club found her with one of her lovers having dinner and drinks.

I joined them, ordered a steak dinner and a drink, sat through conversation, and then said i was leaving for home, she said she'd see me later. She arrived home around 6am just in time to shower and dress for work that day.

I left the house drove to work, waiting for the bank to open so i could then go retrieve the pre-nuptial agreement, at 10am that friday morning i entered the bank retrieved the document from the safety deposit box withdrew all but 10% of our funds from our joint accounts obtained printed balances of all our accounts from the bank, then proceeded to district court arriving there around 11am.

I spoke to the court clerk, handed her the pre-nuptial agreement which she read 3 times, then said you want to proceed don't ya? I said as soon as possible, she said it's about time and chuckled.

she told me to follow her and she took me into see a judge, who read the pre-nuptial and the attached pre written divorce decree, and then he asked if these were the total assets and i said yes and showed him the current bank statments and he then signed the divorce decree and sealed it. I was divorced before noon that day.

I got copies of the decree from the clerk, then proceeded to my wifes office she was standing in the parking lot with co-workers on their way to lunch. I pulled up next to the group, said hello, she walked over, I told her i had something for her and handed her , her copies of the divorce. Told her to have a nice day and a nice life and i drove away.

Do i regret this, Heck no. Does she regret everything, she does very much and tried to re-kindle our relationship for 3 years. I refused.

After 9 years i met someone else, and remarried. We've been together going on our 21st year, we are happy, both of us having experienced a cheating spouse.

My ex is now on her 7th spouse since our divorce, she isn't happy her family an co-workers tell me she is miserable, as if i really cared to hear this information. Which i do not care but listen with some amusement about her antics.

Depending on the people involved and what one does at making the relationship grow, Pastures can be truly greener on the other side.

For those who choose to Cheat in a relationship, I wish those who do cheat all the misery they truly deserve. Divorce first before you cheat.

Answer 2

The grass was greener for my ex spouse. She jumped the fence and found a guy that only wanted what money I gave her in the divorce. She tried to come back and I said no. I had found in the mean time a lovely young lady and we have now been married a happy 10 years. So happy the 1st thought the grass greener elsewhere, ya. Good luck on your adventures.

Answer 3

It never happened to me.
But from having gone through a divorce, I know for sure that no matter the reasons you leave your spouse for, it has to be for the right reasons; so that when you are feeling low, you can't blame anybody for it.
So that even in difficult times, you can remember why you made that decision.
Basically, the way I see it, the grass is not necessarily greener, but using your mistakes, you do have a better chance to make things better.
Obviously, there will always be good times and bad times.
That's real life, no matter what anybody promises you.
Just make sure you want to do it and are not pushed into it.
Good luck.

Answer 4

I left my ex of 3.5 yrs cause we were having troubles and he didnt get it. I found someone who treated me better, but after a year, the new guy was still treating me better. but I couldnt trust him cause he is an idiot. Lots of girls like him, and of course he likes them. 1 year after that he left me for someone else.

So, in the 2 yrs I was with the new guy the grass SEEMED greener, it looked all pretty on the outside, fresh, new, loving, but under the grass it was dead.

And now he left me for someone else. So, what goes around DOES come around.

Now I look back and wonder how things would have been if I tried just a LITTLE harder to make it work with my first bf.

Oh, and because the new guy left me for some girl, he took will get whats coming to him.

All in all, the new relationship was very different from my first one, but when it all came down to it............my first boyfriend would never hurt me the way the new guy did, and I never had issues with trust and commitment.

The fun and excitement wore off with the new guy, for him anyway, not for me........but the important stuff like honesty, communication, trust......wasn't really there.

Answer 5

The grass is not greener. if you ever feel like this is something you want to do, you need to leave the current relationship first. You may find excitement or something he is not giving you at home. But you will only end up hurting everyone involved. You will hurt your husband and lose the trust he has for you. And the guilt will eat you up alive.

Answer 6

Here it is short and sweet, If you think the grass is greener on the other side, fertilize cultivate and water your lawn before even thinking of checking out other grasses. If you then feel the need to go to another lawn, cut the ties to the owner of the grass your in first before going there.

Answer 7

I am going to fill in the other half of the story for you. My spouse left me for someone else. I am happier now than ever before, because I am finally out of debt, can travel as much as I wish, and can date whomever I wish.
So, that might be a blessing in disguise.

Answer 8

The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence ~ it is the same grass under the fence.

Answer 9

Just going through it myself now, the grass is a little brownish but the green is starting to seep through, you only live once if your not happy get the hell outta it

Answer 10

The grass is only greener when you make it grow the way you want.