When you go somewhere with your spouse...?

Question

how important is their appearance, i.e. the way the are dressed, hair, make-up etc. My wife seems to have an anxiety disorder whenever we go anwhere whether it's about her hair, make-up and clothes. So instead she just throws on any ol thing and expects me to be seen in public with her. It's frustrating! Whenever I give her suggestions, she doesn't listen and she get an attitude with me. What pisses me off even more is that she never has this problem when she goes to work. She always looks sexy and great. But it seems as though she doesn't put in the effort when going places with me. She'll be like- "we're just going to the mall". Don't get me wrong, I'm not a vain person. I just like my wife to be the source of my lustfullness. Period. Going places with her when she looks her best is a turn on to me. It's like foreplay. What do I do? Can anyone else relate? Feedback is needed from all the women out there. BTW, I am no slob. I am attractive and very presentable.

If you a wife who does this too, please don't use this as an opportunity to lash out at me.

Am I wrong for having this point of view?

Answer 1

No, you're not wrong. Married or not, everyone should have a spouse who takes pride in his/her appearance. I always make sure I look presentable wherever we go, even if it's just the grocery store. My husband has gotten compliments too, like, your wife always looks so put-together and so good. I want him to be proud of me wherever we go.

Answer 2

I understand and feel for you. I have anxiety disorder and lots of other stuff wrong with me and at a minimum I at least make sure I am clean and groomed. Have you ever asked her why there is a disparity between work and home? I take an anti-anxiety medicine. That might be an option for her. Have you expressed the fact that it makes your marriage stronger when she looks pretty and puts a little effort into her appearance? For you, I think you need to recognize that she probably gets tired of dressing up and being sexy all of the time. She might find the time at home as the only time she can relax and be herself. The biggest key is communication, to find a way to communicate gently to find out why she is the way she is and how you can help her and how you can come to terms with the results. Good luck.

Answer 3

Here's one thing, whenever you go out, bring her to somewhere really classy for lunch or dinner that way she will feel out of place and maybe next time she will dress her best. Or, keep turning your head to look (no,stare) at well dressed women whenever youre walking or sitting for coffee and be sure she sees you. Or, while youre "sleeping", pretend that you are having a dream about her wearing something very nice while you're about to go, but be sure mention HER name to make sure otherwise she will think youre having an affair. Wait a minute, does everyone think you don't need a makeover yourself or is it just your opinion that youre presentable?

Answer 4

Having pride in your wife, and being able to stand beside her in public places as the sign that says "this is mine, look but dont touch", its a very important part of the male ego, and frankly, to a certain level, its needed in order to have a healthy marriage.

Women show their pride in their husbands in different ways. Usually by talking about them, or their jobs, or their positions in society.

Men, like the hunter gatherers they will always be deep down inside, need something to show off.

Personally, I dont think its fair at all for your wife to care so little about you, and herself. While having down days, and just times where the two of you are out and about without her thinking about how she looks are needed, and perfectly okay. She doesnt need to be a red hot mamma all the time. But I do agree that making an effort atleast SOME TIME is important.

I always try to look good for my husband, (although i fall pretty sort in that department being iam the size of a beached whale and due to give birth in the next four weeks) when we go places, ESPECIALLY if i know his friends or co workers or family will be there.

Whether people want to admit it or not, our society judges men by their women. By every good man is a good woman. While a lot of that is character, a lot is still the way youre presented.

I want people to see me with him and say to themselves "what a lucky guy", not "man why'd he settle for that?".

Looking good never killed any woman. While no one needs to be vain or so miserably enslaved to their looks and the opinions of others, having some confidence and care for your presentation is important.

I'd tell your wife how you feel. Maybe let her read all the answers on here, depending on how many of them are decent. Iam sure quite a few people will chew you out for trying to control your wife. But I atleast think i know what you're getting at. And I agree.

Answer 5

when I had to dress up for work come the weekend I did the same thing, "any ol' thing would do." If we were going "out" not your run of the mill errands, mall sort of thing, I would dress up. Is she doing that?

Now that I don't have to dress up for work I tend to want to more on the weekends whether going to mall or out for a fabulous dinner with my husband.

My husband has said to me things like "show some more cleavage, for me, I like it." you have to tell her you like it when she looks sexy just for you whether going to the mall or where ever. Don't nag her. You need to tell her how you feel, don't tell her you want her to dress up all the time but tell her you like it when she does. You would be surprised she just may get all dressed up just to go to the mall with you....she needs the down time from getting all dressed up, heels and hose are not comfortable, its a pain to put all that "stuff" on the face and do the hair and on and on....don't push it.

Answer 6

Maybe she just feels so comfortable with you, that she doesn't have to out on a show because she knows you will love her no matter what....or it could be that she doesn't really feel good about herself and it is manifesting itself in her appearance. Some jobs require that a person look a certain way..even when they really aren't the person they portray.

Answer 7

try complimenting her more when she is dressed nice. show her extra attention when she is dressed better. talk 2 her honestly about ur feelings. tell her like u just said the better she looks when u 2 go out the more u lust after her. find a cute sexy way 2 tell her this and I bet it will get better

remember all woman r attention getters at heart even though we will not admit it. but we do so love 2 have our mates paw all over us just like they did before we were married. so moon over her a bit 2 help her build up that cofidence level

good luck

Answer 8

Maybe she's given up., or gotten comfortable. I've seen alot of women who get married - and bang! - the sweatpants, slob shirts, lack of attention to hair & makeup! I suggest either you show her what it's like - dress like a bum (sweats, stubble, runners) when you go out with her. Either that - or go out alone. Maybe then, she'll take the hint.

Answer 9

Of course her appearance makes a difference to you and it should. Just talk to her, without verbally attacking, and tell her how you feel, whether she gets an attitude or not. It sounds like she has grown a little too comfortable with you and is showing it by her presentation. We all want to be proud of the person we have chosen to spend our lives with and you are not an exception.

Answer 10

are you for real ? I mean come on it should not matter what she looks like . I think you are a visually obessed person and if your wife is not hot looking to you even when she dresses in a tshirt or any ole thing as you put it ,what must she think about you? do you think that maybe you have ever embarrased her? If not then I think it is great to be so perfect and think so highly of yourself give me a break !!!!