Question Details: Hi..I am an ESL learner. I tried to write a parahraph in English and I will make a presentation in class. Please help me proofread the folloing paragraph. Thanks for your time.
This range of products express a strong design and superior functionality which is further enhanced by its high-tech surface finish. It also has world-renowned standards of quality, engineering and design. This is backed up by five year manufacture warranty covering manufacturing defects.
2006-12-23 01:51:54 · 9 answers · asked by Hank Wu 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
A question for you - are you referring to one product or more than one product?
While your paragraph is a good one, there are several grammatical mistakes. If you are referring to a single product you would say for example - This product expresses etc.
More than one product can be referred to as a range of products.
I have re-written the paragraph as follows. Hope you find it helpful and good luck with your presentation.
This product expresses strong design and superior functionality, which is further enhanced by its high-tech surface finish. It incorporates world-renowned standards of quality, engineering and design. This is backed-up by a five year manufacturers warrenty covering any manufacturing defects.
2006-12-23 12:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by O2BYS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good but has a few slight grammatical errors. Change it to this:
This range of products express strong design and superior functionality, further enhanced by their high-tech surface finish. They also have world-renowned standards of quality, engineering and design. They are backed up by a five year manufacture warranty covering manufacturing defects.
2006-12-23 01:57:30 · answer #2 · answered by dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This range of products expresses a strong design and superior functionality, which is further enhanced by its high-tech surface finish. It also has world-renowned standards of quality, engineering and design. This is backed up by five year manufacture warranty covering manufacturing defects. Needs a singular verb and a comma, that's all.
2006-12-23 02:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by mac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would use simpler language:
This range of products is well designed and useful. They are further enhanced by their high-tech surface finish. The manufacturer has world-renowned standards of quality, engineering and design. All products are backed by a five-year warranty covering manufacturing defects.
Or
Our range of products is well designed and useful. They are attractive as well, with a high-tech surface finish. We have world-renowned standards of quality, engineering and design. We back all of our products in this line with a five-year warranty covering manufacturing defects.
2006-12-23 02:08:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anne Jovie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First sentence - express should be expresses. (This range expresses, these ranges express - you see?) In the second sentence, remove the word "manufacture" where you say "five year manufacture warranty. It's redundent. (meaning repetitious) You don't need it since you say "manufacturing defects". Also insert an "a" before "five year"....it should read "This is backed up by a five year warranty covering maufacturing defects". Or if you prefer, you can say "This is backed up by a five year manufacturer's warranty covering defects". Notice that in the second choice I used the possessive form (manufacturer's) of the word because the warranty is given by the manufacturer. I hope I didn't confuse you worse. Good luck.
2006-12-23 02:21:42 · answer #5 · answered by nana 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you may sign that first sentence up for the ny city marathon, you nevertheless have time. how approximately reducing out "are designed to" to start.. forget approximately what it somewhat is designed to do, what it surely does ("be sure place via yada yada") in this sentence, it may be offering, no longer furnish.... you have set the annoying with the be conscious "interpreting", each thing could concur along with your first verb. you ought to replace "positioning software" with coordinates i nevertheless have not have been given any concept what the hell you're speaking with reference to here.. you're stuffing too many suggestions into too few sentences... start up out via making a draft with too many words, then from there %. away at unnecesary stuff, and combine and consolidate the place you could
2016-10-18 22:06:09 · answer #6 · answered by janovich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks good exept for the word funtionality........
2006-12-23 01:55:53 · answer #7 · answered by guessgizmo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't think there is any mistake. good luck for your presentation.
2006-12-23 01:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by chithra 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i guess finish should be in past tense? it also has? it can be it has with out also..
2006-12-23 02:03:47 · answer #9 · answered by hotchixxxz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋