Contact visit I'm so annoyed with ex?

Question

My ex was violent towards me and my other 2 children.
So I left him and went into refuge.
He has psycosis from Canabis abuse, alcohol problems and is a control freak.
After only a year with him I got out.

He once chased his boss with a machete

When I was in refuge, I tried to stay in contact cos of the baby but I quickly realised he was still playing games-
The last contact I had with him was when I contacted his friend, I was told to leave him alone cos I was a fruitcake.
I'm not, I just had postnatal depression and I wasn't strong enough to stand up to him.
He kept leaving me, then coming back as and when he pleased.The 1st time was 2 weeks after a C-Section.

I filed for divorce, and got my address withheld then all of a sudden he wants to see the baby.

So he had the first visit today
I was expecting trouble but there wasn't any.
I didn't even see him.
But i'm really annoyed that he didn't get her a Christmas present.
It feels like he's trying to get at me

Thanks for your answers

Sorry couldn't fit it on before
It was supervised at a contact center
He was watched every second

Answer 1

Maybe I misunderstood, but, I think you left him alone with the baby. Please do not do that anymore. His visits should always be supervised. And you should file on him for child support if he wants to have access. It is only fair since he abused and then bailed on you and left you to take care of the child. Him having mental health problems does not excuse his violent and neglectful behavior.

People that do this often think that because they say their sorry, or suddenly return all should be forgotten and forgiven.

I doen't sound like this guy got any jail time or therapy.

Abusive people need to at least go through a domestic violence course.

Their abused ex partners, also need education and therapy. Get some help.

The rule is this: If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

He may be trying to get at you by not bringing the present.

However, it is just as likely that he is very narcisistic and just doesn't think of others. Just himself.

Be very careful. Get some help from local domestic violence agencies. They have listings in the white pages of the phone book. It is probably best that you cut off contact and get a restraining order based on the history. Don't trust him just because he was able to control himself for a short period of time.

Answer 2

Your ex was violent towards you and your kids. That's reason enough to stay away from him. He also has substance abuse problems and unless he chooses to change, nothing else will change. He left you when you really needed him to be there for you perhaps for another woman, or because of his substance abuse. You were smart enough to divorce him, the issue of a Christmas present is not of any importance, it's only a materialistic thing. What emotional,spiritual gifts can he provide for you and the kids? That is what needs to be thought of by you.

Answer 3

There are times it's best not to focus on peoples hidden intentions and just react to their actions. Past and Present! Are you wondering if he has changed so quickly so maybe you can go back? This kind of flip flop of values does make you seem a bit touched. However, I know this is only a desperate attempt at grasping a normal life. Something we all work very hard to have. My advice is to continue to interact with the father but detach yourself from psychoanalyzing everything he does. This only stresses you and the child out. I doubt very seriously he is stressed out at all. He sees things as black and white, and reacts accordingly. Wrongfully at most times, but that won't screw up his mind as much as you are messing with your own. Good luck. Remember, react...don't analyze!

Answer 4

you should be on your when he visits the baby never mind worrying about presents. Your present is the lack of trouble he gave you. get annoyed about the serious things in life. sometimes the best gift is his visiting his baby.

Answer 5

Heya nicely in the experience that your apprehensive approximately hurting his emotions then you would desire to ask him. yet in fact their would desire to be no situation as you and your ex seem to have not any undesirable blood between ye.

Answer 6

Try to be with him and make up his mind, for the sake of your children

Answer 7

Psychosis.....woah, that's a real bummer

it appears to me that you know how to pick em real good.

Let that be a lesson to you.

Answer 8

Don’t expect too much from a jerk.