they want to take me out to dinner.
his first wife reeled me in until they got married..then she turned him against me..
should i satify their request and throw myself to the lions once again?
should i ask they "why" they want to meet with me after all of this time.
i am comfortable letting sleeping dogs sleep!!!!!
thanks
2006-12-23 00:35:54 · 26 answers · asked by carolthec4 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Mythology & Folklore
It may have been hard for him to ask. I would definitely go---and more importantly, I would keep an open mind and think the best. Sure, you are risking getting hurt again, but what if you don't? I'd let the past be the past.
After 10 years of not talking to my father (my choice, with good reasons), I summoned up the courage to call him. He was pleased. He cried. He didn't suspect ulterior motives. He accepted me as if nothing had happened. That was 15 years ago and we've talked on the phone at least every other day since then. We let the past go and started fresh with open minds and trust. Even if it hadn't worked out, I had to give it my best try.
2006-12-23 03:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Witchy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say do whatever you feel comfortable with. There is no reason you can't develop a polite relationship with your son & his new wife, if that's what you want. Eventually, grand children may even be in the picture - do you want to have a relationship with them?
This new wife might be trying to rebuild old bridges or may just want to see what all the fuss is about. I mean, the first marriage ended - that should tell you something about how well your son & his first wife really got along.
Perhaps he wants you back in his life but has been unable to figure out how to do it (or too proud). Sometimes, women handle these 'relationship things' much better than men do.
If your willing, give it a chance. Just keep your defenses on standby and don't have any unrealistic expectations. Try not to blame him too much for being a jerk & see what his new wife is like.
I find it interesting that he still keeps your e-mail handy ...
2006-12-23 08:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by bionicbookworm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a very difficult situation. While you feel this way now, I think you should at least try to make the moves of conciliation. In 20 years you may feel differently. Why not meet at a cafe for afternoon tea or coffee. That way, if things start to go bad you can make an excuse and leave without creating a scene.
2006-12-23 08:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by Bad bus driving wolf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on. They are reaching out for you! This is not about blaming anybody but I suspect that your son's version of the story would be a little bit different. If you would like to have him back in your life, just say YES. And go there with an open heart and an open mind.
2006-12-23 09:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by Sinka 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let sleeping dogs lie! BUT
this specific dog isn’t sleeping anymore!
I react spontaneously and immediately to your description:
I would accept their invitation, without asking any question!
At the worst you are disappointed, nothing new, BUT
at the best you can find a new approach to your son and you’ll probably a warm person in your daughter-in-law. Otherwise she wouldn’t have suggested your meeting.
Whatever your decision: Good luck and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-23 08:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by saehli 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comparing your son's second wife with the first is totally unfair, especially if you've never met the woman. Could it be that she is trying to get you two back together?
Instead of assuming the worse, consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, your son now wants to make amens for his behavior.
We're only in this life once - why spend it in misery?
2006-12-23 09:18:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to reach out to you now with the help of his second wife. Dinner out at a (nice) restaurant is low risk / low key way to try and reconcile. With his new wife there, will help to reduce tensions.
Go with no expectation. You pick the restaurant and heck, at the least you get a free dinner and if his wife is as supportive as she seems, this could be healing for you. Maybe you will have fun.
2006-12-23 14:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Shaggy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is your son.
Read the parable of the prodigal son.
You are not really comfortable letting sleeping dogs lie.
You are just afraid of getting your feelings hurt again.
There is a difference. Look into your heart where you hid the truth, its still right where you left it.
Love and blessings Don
2006-12-23 08:41:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ones child is always ones child! Let bygones be bygones and accept the invitation, woman have ways to change a man and your son's wife is doing just that.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
2006-12-23 08:40:05 · answer #9 · answered by markos m 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to ask the "why" and also, to be cautious, ask why he turned you out in favor of his wife. This may get you some kind of answer and insight to see if you want to do this all over again.
2006-12-23 08:39:28 · answer #10 · answered by Melanie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋