What do yall think of these lyrics..?

Question

i sing in this band and it is punk rock...and everyone we play it for seems to really like it but i wanted to know what yall think of it....i know you cant hear the music and that really makes a difference in this song but i guess try and make up your own beat and tell me what you think of the song =D...

a shot of insoline should keep me alive
for a while
this may not be the way you would expect
but if we just lay still
then i might be alright
but not on the inside

yeah everyone is at risk for this
there aint no
way in hell its gonna miss
and you can
take it right and stay awake
or
say goodnight and fade away
but i know that you wont love me anymore
once you know the truth

sad just aint the word im lookin for
its been to long to know right where i stand
so fill the tube until the line
inject me and soon ill be fine
i need my super powers
to manage through this hell
so get it over with

everyones at risk for this
there aint no
way in hell its gonna miss
and you can
take it right and stay awake
or
say goodnight and fade away
before you know it
you wont have to deal with me anymore
just gimme a little time


(theres a guitar solo here)


so yeah
everyones at risk for this
if you just
take it right and say goodnight
then everything thats wrong
will soon be right
you have to fill it to the line

actually i worte it abt diabetes and abt serious illnesses in general for my grandfather who is struggling with diabetes....nothing abt suicide lol =D

yeah sorry abt the insulin thing...i realized i spelled it wrong after i submitted it but i cant change it now lol

how did you get that it was tryin to say diabetes was fun?

Answer 1

It should rhyme!

Answer 2

Sounds like your trying to say that either:

1. Having diabetes is fun and taking shots of insulin (spell it right) will make your life just fine. Although you wouldn't have to FILL it to the line as most diabetics don't use that much of the stuff (but I could be wrong about that one).

or

2. Your trying to say that illegal drugs via injection will make your life all straightened out and get you straight? (Hmm thats a play on words) unless you have someone else inject you then it doesn't matter cuz

a. your either gonna fly high or
b. you gonna go to sleep ? or possibly die?

The song goes good for awhile but I think that your putting too many possibilities for someone to completely get the point wrong (whatever that may be).

Try to focus a little bit more on what it is that your trying to say and a little less on the "leaving it up to the listener to decide" cuz they might just go the wrong way and completely not get the point your trying to make.

By the Way...........what is the point? (get it I made a funny....hehehe)

....think about it and work on it a little otay.............

Answer 3

I forgot to learn at school
but at least I looked like cool
sitting there with my black hair
and my black lace underwear.
my spelling's bad, I think I'm sad
the words I write are rehash-ed
from songs I hear
but haven't lived
and back to society nothing gived
these lyrics suck too, but I don't care
I got two points
and short blonde hair

(add more personal experience, and something original. too many sad love-type songs. and insulin is spelled "insulin".)

Answer 4

Now i will see your discomfort i'm sorry. I cried so no longer ordinary The necks of this young ones, With their necks via this noose have been advised lies like that's certainty And we suspect that that's you so which you strap 'em with the a-ok that's mom ******' mayday They swear i'm ******' loopy 'Aint nothin gonna save me i'm breakin, i think it i'm bare i'm kneelin i'm shakin i'm reelin My god I save bleedin I watch the international die via purple eyes I cry, it hurts this night I die, I see the gentle And now i'm going to assert so long Now i will see your discomfort i'm sorry (so long) I cried so no longer ordinary Now i will see your discomfort i'm sorry (so long) I cried this night If i could desire to take all this discomfort away Use the fad of our little ones in the present day Whose to assert that that's you to blame that's the folk above you people who say that they love you seem what the international has come to So now it's time to assert "**** you" you think of you are able to and that they drug you whilst no person is staring whilst they numb you Fill you with terror and crush you pretend they care as they shove you so which you seem to me to discover the certainty And what I say is what you do yet everybody you seem as much as is properly as ****** up as you Time is getting shorter With those enforcer's orders And we get blamed and pushed around Whose the ******* villian now? Now i will see your discomfort i'm sorry (so long) I cried so no longer ordinary Now i will see your discomfort i'm sorry (so long) I cried this night we gained't end now have been so close now reason those situations are almost over I wont supply up So god save us It appears like have been getting closer we gained't end now have been so close now reason those situations are almost over I wont supply up So god save us Now i will see your discomfort i'm sorry (so long) I cried so no longer ordinary Now i will see your discomfort i'm sorry (so long) I cried this night (so long) I cried this night I cried this night right this is the Lyrics for the songs. If its maximum suitable Please value it thank you

Answer 5

I think its pretty cool and emo. i also write my own songs in a band so this is from 1 musician to another ;)

Answer 6

sounds like someone wants to commit suicide

Answer 7

sounds cool..do you have the song uploaded somewhere?

Answer 8

i love it just do not let carolers sing it off key.

Answer 9

its pretty cool

Answer 10

top stuff.!