Well I know this might sound stupid to some but I dont know what's wrong with me I had my miscarriage in June I figured I was over it.Next month is when my baby was due I had the miscarriage at 14 weeks.I'm just contiuously hysterical and depressed I can barely get out of bed.My husband says everything will be o.k. and we'll have children but it seems like everyone is having baby or has newborns I can barely walk thru walmart right now without crying (baby section) I just keep thinking next month I would have been a mom,but I wont cause I lost the baby.It just has me so upset I dont think I even want children anymore cause I dont think I could go thru this again.Is this normal or am I just going insane?Is there anybody out there right now who feels like I do?
2006-12-22 21:36:38 · 11 answers · asked by amanda c 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
wow... I'm not alone... Honey, I also miscarried in June, and I was supposed to be due on Feb.7......... I get the same way when I see pregnant women, babies, babies' clothes... And its so hard.. We are trying again, but at the same time I'm scared to get pregnant again because I might loose it again... But I am obsessed with having a baby... I know my story is not helping you at all, and I am still trying to get over our loss, and I just felt like I needed to tell you that you're not alone, and its ok to feel this way...
2006-12-22 22:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by Ellanora 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
at some point most people have been there. i miscarried at 6 weeks so it wasn't as bad but my sister had 7 miscarriages in the space of about 4 years each one being between 6 weeks and 16 weeks and each time she felt exactly how you are feeling and then she fell pregnant again and felt better. she wanted children so much she persevered with all the heartbreak and now has 3 healthy children under the age of 5 and is pregnant with a 4th. Miscarriage generally happens because there is something wrong with the baby and it wouldnt survive outside of the womb, its usually to do with the chromosones and nothing anyone did or could of done would have prevented it, its natures way of saving you from even more pain of going through the whole pregnancy and then your baby not surviving. You have to mourn the child you have lost but remember it happened for a reason, and keep trying for a child, don't give up hope. Good Luck Hunni x x
2006-12-22 21:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by yummymummy 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I miscarried on my first pg at 11 weeks. I felt like my life had ended. It was so unfair - all of those unplanned pregnancies, teenage moms, and all!! I totally understand your point. I was angry at everyone, angry at God and if He didn't want me to have children, well then I wasn't!!!
You are mourning a loss, as real to you as the loss of a parent or sibling. I compare dealing with it to cleaning out a closet. You have to go in every so often and take out a box, get rid of some things, keep some others, and put them back in the closet for another day. I lost my mom in 1996 and got blindsided by grief unexpectedly a few weeks ago...it happens.
Finally, when I had my miscarriage, I colleague who had been in the same situation told me the wisest advice I think I had ever heard: "the pain WILL go away. But you will never forget."
Looking back, as the mom of 2 now, I wonder still who that child would have been, but love both of my kids now for who they are.
Hang in there. See a doc if the grief is too much.
2006-12-23 15:19:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound stupid at all. I have had 3 miscarriages and with my first one I felt the same way you do right now. My other two of course hurt me as well but the first one was the hardest. You might want to talk to your doctor about this or go see a psychiatrist just to be able to talk to someone about how you feel. I had to do that the first time and it really helped. Just know that you will be okay. As far as you not wanting children again.... you will change your mind when your body is ready for it mentally and physically. There is no need to rush it. Good luck to you honey and know that just cause you have one miscarriage doesn't mean you will have another one. Also...next time you decide to have a baby take pre-natals and folic acid for a few months before you start trying. This will help your body get ready for pregnancy.
2006-12-23 00:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by Selena L 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Unfortunately the grief you are feeling is very natural, I have had 2 previous miscarriages one after the other and I was as concerned about getting pregnant again as you are, though I did and I have a beautiful 10 month old to show for it...
Try not to blame yourself or feel guilty nothing you could have done could have caused the miscarriage, as long as you were looking after yourself and doing the right thing...
The way I got through it, and although it may sound harsh...the way I saw it, to miscarry as early as we both had, there was probably something wrong with the of the babys chromosomes, and its natures way of making sure you have the healthiest baby that you can have...
You will get pregnant again, and you will be scared...but you will get through it.
Best of luck...
2006-12-22 21:50:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anastasia 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
although i have never lost a baby (im sorry for your lost) i can agree it feels like crap walking through wal -mart or any store when i see babies or the baby section i have been trying for a baby for over a year it sucks cause i really want one. what your feeling is normal it will take time maybe right now you dont want kids anymore but you might change your mind dont give up on the idea yet good luck with this i hope you feel better soon
2006-12-22 21:47:50 · answer #6 · answered by H0NEY~BEE 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, early miscarriages are more common than people know. I am sorry for your loss. It is normal to grieve the loss of a wanted pregnancy and future baby. But given that you can't get out of bed, you may want to seriously consider seeing a therapist or psychiatrist.
Seeing a therapist or psychiatrist does not mean you are weak, crazy, etc. just means that you realize you need help. Most people can't battle depression alone. You may only need to see the therapist once, or a few months.
Get help and good luck.
2006-12-22 22:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by syen3 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
awww hunni bless you. im so sorry that you had to go through this. its understandable that youre feeling like this right now, especially at this time of year. you will move on hunni and will have a family in the near future. if you feel like crying then cry. it really does help. just because you lost this baby, doesnt mean to say that the same thing will happen again, although i can understand why you would worry if you got pregnant again, just remember to stay positive and when you do get pregnant again try to enjoy it without worrying. xxx
2006-12-22 21:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by fanlight 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i just want to let you know something hun...
you may have postpartum depression. if this has been going on for awhile that could be it. your body doesn't know whether or not you carry to term. all it knows is that you gave birth. so you hormones are going crazy. also this time of year is alot of stress and since you child was due around this time that could be adding to it. you may want to find someone to talk to. even if you do not have PPD a theripist could help alot.
i'm sorry for your loss.
2006-12-23 15:21:26 · answer #9 · answered by 1 Hott Mami 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Amanda, I'm very sorry for your loss. You're grieving, and this wound will take time to heal. My son and his wife went through the same thing, and just had a healthy baby last week. They'll never forget their first-born, and neither will you. Time heals. Stay busy, and have hope.
2006-12-22 21:51:01 · answer #10 · answered by huskernurse 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋