How can I save my marriage when my wife has just gave up?

Question

She is so aggravated with our temporary financial bind, she has completely wrapped her life up with work, and now I learn that she has started taken anti-depressants like skittles every day and this has turned her into a body. She just sits there with no emotions at all cause of the drugs. She just turned 39 and we have made it through worse than what we are going through now. Is she just going through a mid life crisis or phase that will improve with patience on my part cause of her age ? Is this normal for a woman of her age ? We only argue when I ask her why she is acting so different now ! She will let me have some, but does not want to get anything out of it ! We are going on 6 months here - ANY IDEAS ON WHAT I SHOULD DO ?

Answer 1

Get counseling. There are family counselors who specialize in dealing with relationships. Or, she might consider visiting a counselor for separate therapy. Either way, depression can be cured, life can look better. But it sometimes helps to get help. Good luck.

Answer 2

Financial is one of the major causes of divorces. It is a very depressing thing for some people like your wife. Get your finance in shape. Share this information with her and tell her you are working on the financial things and you want her to not worry and be able to get off the anti depressants. I don't think it is a mid life crisis. I think she is just overwhelmed about the financial bind. Try praying for her recovery. We have an awesome God who can take all this depression out of her life, but you need to ask him for help for her. Good luck and I will pray for the both of you. God Bless You. I do so hope that you and your wife have a Merry Christmas and start 07 with new beginnings..

Answer 3

Money is always a tough situation in a relationship. Many are broken because of it. I also take lexapro to help with depression and anxiety. If followed correctly it will not cause what you are indicating.

You don't mention the possibility of an affair. I went thru the same thing with her allowing sex but she was not in it. I discovered she was in an affair and that explained the sex part. My part was not communicating to her as we first did years ago. It takes two to have issues and two to work them out.

She could be going thru a mid-life. My advice is a Christian counselor with both of you there trying to learn to know each other as you most likely did in the beginning. If she is unwilling to go then you may have your answer. I would not accuse her of this unless you know it for fact though.

You can get thru this but both of you must be willing to try. Also your relationship should not be based on sex. It should be based on unconditional love and communication. If you have that then, well, the sex will be there with it. Good luck and I hope I have been some help.

Answer 4

Seems like she is not one to handle stress to well. True you have gone through worse things than this, but everyone has a breaking point. I would not sum it up to a mid-life crisis just yet, I think you should both sit down and have talk about how to get out of your financial bind, if you both set some sort of goal to get out of the rut you are in, maybe it will help her become more of the person she once felt like before your financial situation.

Answer 5

Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/e9qhh

However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

Answer 6

She sounds seriously depressed. It could have nothing at all to do with you. It could be a mid-life crisis. It could be the financial situation. It could be boredom with her life. It could be that she's almost the big 4-0 and still not financially secure. It could be a culmination of all the past problems that have built-up and built-up for so long. It could be the realization that half her life is over and she isn't close to realizing her dreams or goals. It could be all of the above. Maybe she feels like it's too late to succeed so why try? The only thing that can determine what the real problem is would be counseling. The lines of communication need to be re-opened and if the two of you aren't capable of doing that for yourselves you need to seek professional help if you want to save your marriage. It's very noble of you to care enough to ask for advice. I pray God will guide you to help you save your marriage. It's worth fighting for!

God bless you!

Answer 7

If you feel that she has given up then ask her if she has..

If you feel that your needs are not being meet because she is not giving you emotions sexual by taking you need to ask her about that....

At this age she should have it all together or falling apart..She by what you are saying is falling apart.

You need to sit her down and have paper and pin out and come up with a plan to fix your marriage...

Be demanding of her to help solve this, and if she is unwilling then seek help from her doctor. Those drugs that she might be on might be the cause of some of her problems....

And one more piece of advise do not have an affair to try and find that happiness you need...Move on in your life but do it the healthy way for both of you...

Answer 8

If you love your wife you will hang in there!!
Your wife has a bad case of clinical depression, and it is
possible that she could be going through early menopause.
Some women in their mid-30's have been known to go through
early menopause.
STOP asking her why she is acting so different!
Whether it be clinical depression or menopause, your wife cannot give you are logical answer.
Hormones also play a role in depression, just as does menopause.
So the best thing you can do for her is try to get her to see her doctor again, and it wouldn't hurt if you went with her.
What she needs right now is your 'love' and 'understanding'.
Sex is the 'last' thing on a persons mind when they are depressed, and menopause is the scurge of the earth for women.
It makes them into someone else.
Love her!!

Answer 9

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O

Answer 10

I doubt it's a mid life crisis, she's too young for that. Women go through that more about the age of 45 plus.

It is very hard to say why she has hit such a low point and gone almost dead. Certainly, the antidepressants will be adding to the deadness, they can cause a sense of no emotion. Encourage her to wean herself off them and talk to you.

Other than this, for yourself, you keep loving her regardless (through sickness and health, for better or worse, richer or poorer). Don't give up, this is a big challenge for you to be faithful to your marriage vows and for her too.

Pray about it everyday and leave it in God's hands. You may also need to go and perhaps seek some councilling, but if you believe in God, you will know who has the answers and certainly who better to seek help from?

But don't stop loving her and being softly affectionate to her. If she rebuffs you, dont' push it on her, but just be very gentle with her and tell her you love her and you will do what you can to get through this with her.

Sex is not what she needs as much as you holding her right now. I know it's very hard for you too, but you will really have to be strong, she sounds almost broken right now, so regardless of wehther she sees dead and distant, she needs you!