Hello-first, I'm going to ask a general question:
In your relationship, is it appropriate for your signifigant other to (go out with/see/visit) (friends/ex's/people that there have been feelings for)? Is it okay for your guy to go have a Christmas visit with his ex girl & her family, without you there?
What do you consider the appropriate levels of interaction between your partner and thier friends/ex's? What boundaries, if any, should be set?
2006-12-22 17:55:17 · 10 answers · asked by anenkletos21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. No
2. No
3. If you are married, ex boyfriends and girlfriends are off limits period. These are people where love was a big part of the relationship. It's too easy to fall into a state of re-attachment. That's VERY bad for a married couple. Friends of the opposite sex should be kept at a good distance and not interacted with on a regular basis. They should not be allowed to meet for lunch, dinner go to the movies... Any interaction that could lead to more than just friendship.
4. Friends of the opposite sex should only be allowed interaction with a spouse when ...
a. Both in the marriage are aware of the contact.
b. The spouse can have full access to conversations and in person contact.
c. The person is a friend of the marriage and not someone that bad mouths or is told intimate details of the marriage.
2006-12-23 01:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think mature people who respect the sanctuary of Marriage know that they're boundaries. No one should be going into attack mode for no reason. There is a thing called temptation . It's everywhere! so having a friends in a marriage is ok assuming your spouse knows them ;and agrees that they are just that a friend. Now lets get to the meaning of a friend. Some spouses don't like there spouses friends. Because of their influences and impact on their spouse and marriage. also lets define Marriage. It's a sacrament. Were not talking about the business deals that people call marriages today. It's scared . Why would you want the opposite sex having an influence in your spouses life that clearly is only meant for your spouse. That's why emotional and mental cheating exist. Certain roles are only for husband and wife. If you surround yourself without boundaries eventually nature will take it's course and temptation and acting on temptation is one of them.is it possible to have Friends of the opposite sex? Yes that does not make it a good idea. You are playing with fire . Especially if your spouse doesn't have the same friendship, with the same person.
2016-05-23 01:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the guy, the ex, and you. I'm in a relationship where my girlfriend does not mind if I visit an ex that I was with for 3 years. I was friendly with the whole family and still talk to more than just my ex. One ex she feels strange about in general. One ex she says she wouldn't mind, but she would like to be there or just meet her first.
It's a strange thing that you can't really define but there is a formula to it all. You need to take into consideration your current relationship, your feelings, your partners feelings, the ex's feelings, the ex's personality, the ex's current relationship status, what will be the scenario your partner will be entering when he spends time with his ex, how they left off, etc.
There is no real answer to it other than you both essentially have to be comfortable.
2006-12-22 18:03:42 · answer #3 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Early in a relationship it is not good to put that pressure on. If the EX is truely a friend they will understand. Got to be careful!
2006-12-22 17:58:22 · answer #4 · answered by freshlybakedj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he is ot willing to have you there that it is an insecurity in himself and he still has feelings for her. You should sit him down and talk with him. Let him know if he is unsure if he wants to be with you, than you don't want to be with him. Don't let some guy make your life miserable. There are plenty of fish in the sea.....that don't have obsessive exgirlfirends and their families.
2006-12-22 17:59:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are ex's for a reason. I think it's strange to have that much contact with an ex...unless there are kids involved..but even then, you should be included
2006-12-22 17:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Ladylike ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa... That is pretty messed up. He should have asked you before he did that. I think that shows a certian level of disrespect and I would question my guy endlessly if he did that. Don't trust him force him to explain himself!!!
2006-12-22 17:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by nitespector 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no boundary to think abt buddy....
just a full stop thats it.
end is end. now it u and onli u.
2006-12-22 17:58:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boundaries are this: If they can't or won't do it in front of or with you, it shouldn't be done
2006-12-22 17:57:37 · answer #9 · answered by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THEY ARE ONLY BOUNDRIES IF YOU MAKE THEM BOUNDRIES TOGETHER.....IF NEVER TALKED ABOUT THEN HOW CAN YOU SAY HE CROSSED THE LINE?
2006-12-22 17:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋