My husband finished my Christmas shopping tonight, only to inform me that he was not wrapping them. His reasoning is that he has never wrapped gifts before and doesn't know how. Someone has always done it for him in the past but we have moved recently and he hasn't been able to ask anyone. He told me he would just hand them to me out of the shopping bag. I pointed out that it would not kill him to at least give it a try. He then told me that he didn't have time to wrap them. I got upset with him because even though Christmas isn't really about the presents, I would at least like to participate when he and my 3 year old son are opening their presents on Christmas day. I am really more upset that he can't seem to want to spend an extra 20 minutes to wrap them so that I don't feel left out. I don't care how they look. I would just like to be able to open presents with my family. I have worked really hard to make it the nicest Christmas I can . Am I not worth 20 minutes of his time?
2006-12-22 17:43:00 · 30 answers · asked by Michelle F 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dana J: I know this is petty, but my feelings are still hurt. I am not that young (29) and I am the wife of a man with Asperger's and the mother of an Autistic child. My entire life revolves around the both of them. It is not fair to make assumptions about what kind of mother I am to my son which happens to be a damn good one. I couldn't be more selfless for his sake. Try not to be so judgemental about things you know nothing about.
2006-12-22 18:00:39 · update #1
Response to Dana J. You are missing the entire point. It isn't about the gifts or even the ******* paper. It is about him trying to at least make an effort. It wouldn't kill him to do so. That is my point. Especially because I bend over backwards for him. Do you have any idea what it is like to live with not one but two Autistic people. Somehow I doubt it. Research it. As I said my whole life revolves around them, I don't get to be childish or selfish about many things. I am sure there are things that are important to you that I might find trivial and stupid. Everybody has these things. But I would never belittle another person because I think it is stupid or just assume that they must be a selfish person in general. I had no problem with your opinion, after all I did ask. My problem was the way it was presented. You can share your opinion without being a ***** about it or launching a verbal attack on a person's character just because you disagree. Merry Christmas.
2006-12-22 23:27:11 · update #2
I think he should wrap the gifts. I know it's not the gift that's important, but the effort.....
2006-12-22 17:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by nurseratchet23@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are definitely worth a lot more than 20 minutes, but I'm sure he knows that. Maybe you should both do it together.
2 years ago my husband, offered to help me wrap the presents for Christmas while I was busy doing other stuff. Well, I have to say, I appreciated his effort very much, the presents didn't look too good under the Christmas tree, but my family sure have something to remember my husband for. The good thing is that most of them were for my niece and nephew who didn't noticed anyway.
Come on, who really cares about the wrap???
My suggestion: don't make a big deal out of it. And next time you can invest in predecorated boxes to put the presents in.
2006-12-23 02:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by myliz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Boohoo! Your sob story revolves around giftwrapping, it's so juvenile. It's not about your husband having aspergers and your child being autistic--it's about you whining because you can't have your way.
Try focusing on the POSITIVE for once, he spent time selecting everyone a gift. Why don't you do your part and spend time wrapping your child's presents, especially if you think it's too big of a deal! Any three year old cares more about the present that the wrapper. But if gift wrapping is too much to bear, go to the nearest store and get big gift bags and put the gifts inside. PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
I've received gifts all the time that weren't wrapped, especially from my husband. I don't cry over it. I love the fact he spent time and took enough thought to get me something I loved. It's Christmas for crying out loud, stop making yourself miserable over something so small. Also, remember that most men aren't into gift giving and stuff, I do the shopping every year and wrap the presents myself--most wives do that.
2006-12-23 02:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Having your 3 year old see you happily opening a Walmart sack from your husband and showing your appreciation with a hug and a kiss rather than a scowl will leave a favorable lasting impression.
Sure you are worth 20 minutes of his time. But this issue is not worth the hours and minutes you are dwelling on this. Save your battles for the serious issues and be glad that you are together and have the resources to celebrate
Christmas. Read some of the other letters on Yahoo. Some people are flat out miserable.
Accept the gift with enthusiasm and graciousness.
2006-12-23 01:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you are both selfish and need to grow up for your son's sake. If you have a child, he is the most important one even if you and your husband didn't have presents at all. Be glad he got you something. So what you unwrap it out a bag instead of pretty paper. It's the thought that counts and if you have to badger him to buy and wrap, then what does that mean he feels for you, and that you think that is more imprtant than anything else. I think you must be a young mother and hope for your childs sake you grow up.
edit to respond:
None of what you said really matters if your feelings are so easily hurt because he doesn't want to wrap your presents. The attitude also says a lot about a person and you came on here to ask the question. If you only wanted specific answers that made you feel all warm and gushy you should have said so. But the truth is the truth. Do you have any idea how many children won't get presents at all? How many parents sacrifice and don't get presents at all so their children can? Do you have any idea how many won't be wrapped since paper costs money? I think it is a selfish and self centered thought. You asked I answered.
2006-12-23 01:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by dana j 4 · 4⤊ 3⤋
I find it intriguing that your husband has never wrapped a present. My own mother made us participate in the gift wrapping process - it was part of Christmas. I'm assuming therefore that this togetherness is an alien process to him so maybe you need to set down gift wrapping as a new ritual for your (fairly new) little family.
What is so important in his "time" that he can't spend time doing something for his family -Of course as the mother of his child and life partner you deserve 20 minutes of his time. Is this a symptom of his attentiveness to you normally?
Hope you have a good Christmas anyway.Good luck
2006-12-23 01:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by mickylee 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand your issue completely. My fiance says the same thing about wrapping. It is frustrating but I try to remember that it's about giving not receiving and I'm just lucky someone wants to buy me a present at all. :)
He has tried to wrap a few things lately, but it's very painful to watch and I know he hates it. I suggested gift bags. Some of them are like wrapping paper in bag shapes. You just seal them up and slap on a bow (or not) and it's done! Looks pretty decent too! You can just take your sweet time opening it. Good luck & merry Christmas!
2006-12-23 01:57:46 · answer #7 · answered by ca_kerri 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am going through the same thing with my hubby. Solution...he went and had the place where he bought it gift wrap it. Everything else that he bought on the other hand, for the kids and all, he claims its my "job" to wrap them and his "job" is to buy them. I too think its the effort thats more important. Last year, he went 1 hour before the store closed and bought my gift. All our guests where already here and he walked in and handed mine to me, un-wrapped. Our kids are little and i honestly think its a waste for me to wrap them because I will be doing all the un wrapping too. Oh well, its the memories that really matter. I just do my best to keep my mouth shut and enjoy the rest of the holiday. Im starting to realize that men do not change. Women make an effort, men dont care. Your lucky if you find one that does and you better hold on to them as long as you can. I dont want to realize this, but well...you win some you lose some.
2006-12-23 01:57:37 · answer #8 · answered by Koozie 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You are not selfish. He really doesn't have to go through all the trouble of wrapping them either with all the decorative boxes and bags they have now. Malls and some stores even offer gift wrapping that he could have taken advantage of. If he wants to be stubborn and not wrap your gifts, I would take the high road and take it as it is given and maybe make a game of looking in the bag and making your son laugh and enjoy his Christmas day with his family.
2006-12-23 01:59:02 · answer #9 · answered by kikibaby 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My Husband does USUALLY wrap my gifts, Unless he calls one of the kids to do it..There was one year tho that he didn't and they were in the store bags he taped them shut and put a bow on them..I actually thought it was funny and cute!
Its nice to have wrapped presents, but i'll take them any way he puts them under the tree..
Merry Christmas
2006-12-23 06:00:32 · answer #10 · answered by Shem 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're very petty. The whole Christmas thing has become about getting things --give the man a break. He's an intelligent human being and doesn't want to be involved in mindless activities like gift-wrapping.
2006-12-23 02:21:56 · answer #11 · answered by crazyloonynice 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋