dont actually have my own money, "our" money is really HIS money...so lately I have been realising that I have the power here, my guy makes about 10,000 amonth take home, and he is VERY controlling with the money, to the point he makes me feel like a child when I need something, Im an adult and I shount have to ask or explain to him why I need what...so I have been refusing sex unless he gives me CASH so I can put it in my savings account.
It sounds like prostitution, sure, but being a SAHM DOES NOT PAY, and I dont want to be broke at 40 when my kid is moved away!
He does NOT want me to work and gets ngry as hell when I say Im getting a job, plus he will not help out with daycare, so I decided this is how it will be.
Besides Stay home moms are kinda prostitutes anyways, if you never had sex with your husbands he would divorce you and no one would pay your way!
2006-12-22 16:08:56 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You've got to have a better respect for yourself and what you do. You have the most important job in the world, doesn't get any better than taking care of your kids.
I have several friends who are stay at home moms, and none of them think of themselves as prostitutes.
2006-12-22 16:12:24 · answer #1 · answered by Buttercup - VP Bamma Fan Club 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow, ouch. Being a SAHM pays off in a way that all those women who push their kids out of the car every morning at day care will never know, but that isn't the issure here.
Most states in the US are community property law, so any money that comes in belongs to both of you. He should be providing for your needs and if you don't have easy access to the checking/savings account, he should give you a sufficient allowance AFTER the bills are paid and BEFORE he spends any on himself.
Not quite true on your last point. If he objects to your working and enough people are aware of it, a divorce would more likely than not get you alimony or maintenance. You could get your alowance and then have sex with someone you actually want to, not that you feel you have to.
Tell him to share the wealth before a judge takes it.
2006-12-23 00:18:10 · answer #2 · answered by Yote' 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, it seems like you love your husband because no where did you say otherwise. Just that he's controlling. I'm a SAHM too and I have the opposite, I control the money in our house but never to that extent. I don't think what you're doing is wrong. If he doesn't want you to work and expects you to stay home then something has to give somewhere.
2006-12-23 12:25:17 · answer #3 · answered by Tara C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm SAHM are far from being prostitutes and if you were doing it right you would know that. I agree with him what do you need daycare for? The point of you as a SAHM is to stay home and raise your kids not ship them off to daycare.
My hubby and I have a joint account because he trusts me with the money he earns. Since he knows that I am not going to be spending it on something as frivolous as daycare while I am a SAHM
2006-12-23 00:55:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have to admit, not much of a family man if does not realize that there is need for various things to survive.
Perhaps you could suggest ways to make income while being the at home mom - such as keeping other children, working from the computer, crafts to sell, etc - this would provide the additional funds from you, not to burden him, and still be with the children which is obviously the preference he has.
To deliberately withhold to obtain your way is not only childish but further building walls in the relationship - is that what you really want?!
2006-12-23 00:14:03 · answer #5 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad. I was a stay at home mom when my kids were young. I never had to peddle myself for money.
My husband found a chart that listed how much a stay at home mom would be paid for each job. Back in the late 80's I was worth over 100,000 a year. See if you can find that chart. Or workup a time chart. How much time you spend on each job and how much the family would have to pay for it, If nothing else you might value yourself more.
You also might consider a challenge. Ask him to take a day off from work so that he can try doing your job. and he has to do all of it.
2006-12-23 00:14:53 · answer #6 · answered by dmjrev 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was a stay-at-home mom (and before the kids) my husband would give me his paycheck as soon as he got home on payday. I'd bank it, spend it, pay the bills, buy the food, balance the checkbook, invest, indulge myself - - in other words, I handled the money. No one paid my way, and I wasn't a "prostitute." When I had a part-time job, my paycheck was considered to be mine to spend the way I wanted to, while his was "our" money to pay the bills.
The fact that your husband is a control freak with the money doesn't mean that you or any other stay-at-home moms are prostitutes. It just means that you're in a bad situation where you're being made to feel like less than an equal in your marriage.
2006-12-23 00:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You could also get a job were you stay at home like a phone sells person. Your husband needs to realize that being married means his "money" is both of your guys money and if you had money that would also be both of your guys money. That is part of marriage unless there is a prenumtual agreement. In that case you can't use his money without his concent. To me it sounds like your husband is a little over controling and this could be very bad because if there is not already abuse in the marriage it could lead to abuse. I think you need to talk to marriage counslor about this if your husband is unwilling to talk about.
2006-12-23 00:19:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt' think of yourself that way. You are not a prostitute. Your husband should give you money and he is trying to control you. Don't let him. Get a job and make your own money. Half of everything he makes should be yours. Speak up for yourself and take control of your life back. You are not his child that needs to beg for a dollar and only get it if you're good and do what he wants. Shame on him!!!
2006-12-23 00:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was with you until the last line. Stay at home moms are not all prostitutes. I control all the finances in my home. My husband works and I stay home but I handle the budget better. I have sex with my husband because he's sexy and good. I don't sleep with him because I want money. If I was unhappy in my marriage I would leave. I would never sell myself. Maybe that's what you need to do. LEAVE.
2006-12-23 00:12:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋