Do you feel support from the gay community?Do you need a membership card to be accepted by the gay community?

Question

We are told to 'celebrate' our 'diversity and support the gay 'community'. Where is this 'community'?

As far as I can tell, if a guy is not interested in me sexually, he won't want to even know me, let alone want to support me by being my friend and be part of some 'gay community'.

What does a 'gay' community mean to you and can we form a 'community' based on who we sleep with?

I am not saying that being gay is just about sex, I am saying the GAY COMMUNITY is all just about SEX while claiming to be 'caring' - which is bull! Read my question s-l-o-w-l-y.

Answer 1

Yeah I don't feel like there's much of a community. Maybe small pockets here and there. But it's not like it's the Welcome Wagon. :)

To me an ideal gay community means people who identify as gay, enjoy spending time with one another, stick up for one another, and support one another. To me the connections in the community should be varied, just like the connections in a neighborhood. The neighborhood might bond over the fact that they all live in the same place, but they grow and build multiple connections based on other aspects of their lives.

I think that all communities begin based on what obvious things they have in common, but then for it to stay a community it has to grow beyond that. That's the part I don't see as much in this situation. There's a lot of groups out there that focus on social justice. There's a lot of places to go to try and hook up. But there's less places to just go and have fun where the people around you just happen to be gay.

I dunno, it might just be my viewpoint because of where I grew up. Hopefully others have had more positive experiences than me. I mean I have found friends, but no widespread community like the phrase "gay community" implies.

Answer 2

I am gay but I would like to respond to this question. I think it is ridiculous that in this day and age that their is even such a thing as "the gay community". That's the problem with all people, we should be one community. Weather, you are gay, straight, bi, trans-gender, or whatever...why does that have to separate us as one? To make matters worse is that some people gay or straight think they have the right to make others feel that they do not belong.... and then get mad when the outcast finger is pointed at them. I realize that everyone is different and I still love everyone the same. One Love

Answer 3

Here is the rub. Members of the community identify themselves by their sexuality. ie What they do with their genitals. If they are not interested in sex with you then they have no use for you. I suggest pusuing some non-sex related interests and finding a place in several communities. Once in you can be gay positive whenever it comes up. Being orientation positve helps all members of the community even the ones who don't want to sleep with you. Remeber you are so much more than what you do with your penis!!!!!!

Mark

Answer 4

There are "plenty" of gay communities. Sadly, most are in larger cities and based in Gay Community Centers, relgious institutions (the MCC Churches) and even yes, sex based groups who hold "outings" for bar-b-ques, etc. You have to get out and find them, they rarely come to you. Although, the next time your in a Gay Club look for the magazine they offer, there's usually information about local gay life outside the clubs.

Answer 5

i support the gay community with my heart. My best friend is gay, tho I am not I have found that some of my best friends are gay.
A gay community means to me a society that does not judge people based on their sexual orientation. I support gay marrages however I am sceptical about them for the simple fact that certain individuals will marry not out of love or respect but b/c they can finally show off.
In a socity that believes that man on man is wrong but woman on woman is right, we have a long way to go.

Answer 6

I'm speaking from an admittedly skewed perspective: I'm in college. The pride alliance there DOES provide a definite community. Not everyone gets along with everyone else, but everyone has some friends there, and everyone BELONGS there. I've only done the bar / club thing a couple times, and it does seem MUCH less apparant there. So I think it depends on context.

Answer 7

good question. i came out in 1979 and was there when the bath raids happened in toronto, and i was a protester for gay rights back then. then hiv came and those that didnt die when into hiding. since then the gay community hasnt recovered . personally i dont feel like part of the gay community at all. i lost most of my friends back in the 80's to hiv. i have tried to make new friends but go throught he same thing you mentioned - if they dont want to sleep with you ...... or if your attractive all people think your good for is sex.....its sad it didnt use to be like this , things were better in the 70's and 80's. b4 hiv/aids

Answer 8

I've always thought the whole "gay community" thing was something of a joke. Kind of like the "gay agenda."

Answer 9

First of all I would like to say that being gay is not only about (as you and so many others on here put it) who we sleep with!
I mean I guess for people who are not totally 'out' that is probably a good way to put it. As far as I am concerned being gay is who and what I am in life and in this world. I don't define my sexual orientation to just being about SEX and who I am in the bedroom with (a man or a woman). I mean do you also think that being heterosexual is only about who one is in the bedroom with and what they are going in there??? NO!!!
It's about a whole, rounded person.
I tell people I am gay and that is my life, I don't tell them I am str8 and then hide my boyfriend from them in the fear that if they meet him, if they know that the person I bring to the staff Christmas party is another guy that I am going to be 'outed' as being gay!
They know I am gay, they know I have a same sex life partner they know that when I go shopping I go with him, they know that when I go out for dinner - I go with him, they know that when I go to see a movie - I go with him, they know that when I go on vacation - I go with him, they also know that when I go to bed at night - I go with him - my life partner who just happens to also be a male and who shares my day to day life with me, who helps me be the beautiful, loving, caring, gentle, kind, happy gay man that I am! I am not only gay in the bedroom but everywhere!
The gay community that I know is just like every other community, you can either be involved in it or you can stay away from it and do your own thing.
The biggest gay community to me is in downtown Toronto and I love to go on down there form time to time if for no other reason then to see other gay guys and remind myself that I am not the only one. As to fitting in, that is up to the person and how much time one wants to dedicate to that. If you are like me and you only get out once in a while then you are probably not going to really feel like you are a part of that community, you may not feel like you are being accepted by that particular community but on the other hand if you are there a lot and you get to know a lot of the other people in that community then you will probaly feel like a real big part of it and feel like you belong. It's like any other community - lets say a sports team or a church, you go week after week after week and eventually you get to know the other members of the community and are accepted by them and you become friends with them and you feel like you belong and you are proud of them and yourself as a group.
Hope this is helpful.
*hugs & kisses*

JAC<
in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

Answer 10

its to show numbers of as a hole, to get the rights. we should allready have, to better build as a common format of social scructure. and Independance, as a class of humans with certain likes is all, theirs your Info.except or change and try to find a female you can deal with. good luck,