Anyone else in an almost sex-less marriage?

Question

My wife and I have a deep love and understanding for one another. We are best friends and lovers who hardly ever have sex. It started when we had kids. Before kids we had sex almost every night. But now by the end of the day we are usually too tired to have sex. We can't do it in the morning because the kids are in and out of the bedroom. I masturbate at least every other day (sometimes daily), usually in the shower, to satisfy my libido and so I am not tempted to stray. It is sometimes just easier to take care of yourself this way. Is our situation abnormal? How do other married couples with young kids find the time and energy for sex?

Answer 1

Yep, in the same exact situation. Started when we had our daughter. I am hoping that when she gets older and I come into my sexual prime it will improve.

Answer 2

Honey... your situtation is so common and the mastering in the shower is Ok... it yours. Do refrane from other women, don't ruin your marriage by straying. Kids need to live with their Daddy. This will pass in time when the kids are older and less demanding... but you guy have to make time to talk about this and make plans for some alone time. This is really a no brainer... get in there and help her get the night times chores done quicker letting her know why your helping, flirtling a little along the way. Maybe when the house is quite you guys can have a moment. As far as the energy to do it, women give in to being to tired quicker than men... men have the little head that drives them around... so maybe helping her a night might do the trick. Doing household chores and helping with the kids is consider foreplsy to us girls. Hope this helps and yes I've been there... my husband had to work loads of overtime when the kids were little so he was the one to tired and me mastering in the shower... hope this helps.

Answer 3

Yup. Son born 1983. Mine hasn't been interested since 1992.

Tried everything under the sun. Every g*ddamned thing. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Including ignoring it. I used to think once every month was okay. Then I thought every 12-14 months was okay. She just says she isn't into it since he was born (he's turning 24 for chrissakes, and lives in another state. It's not like he's in the next room). Sex before marriage was as wild as humanly possible.

You go out of your ever-loving mind. Yet other women have been completly multi-orgasmically satisfied (and she used to be, too).

When I said "for better or for worse" I thought there would be some "better" and not all "worse" in there. I feel *many* women just hang it up after marriage.

Life's a b*tch and then you die.

Answer 4

Go to a ranch in Nevada. No strings. Will keep you on the straight and narrow every so many months. Marriage, unfortuantely, can be a major downer as far as sex goes. The reality is that men are different because they can impregnate several woman at once and biologically we tend to be more promiscious. Woman are much more protective because of the 9 month gestation period. Woman never understand this difference. The probably is the social pressure of staying commited to one person. This conflict with male hormones and the instinctive nature of man.

Answer 5

I'd like to know the answer to this too. Me and my spouse only have sex once a month. It's almost like I'm put on a shelf and only taken off when needed. I'm really getting sick of this. My situation has been going on for over 5 years now. I'm getting tired of sitting here and collecting dust.

Answer 6

well same thing here. currently trying the (silent) appointment thing. we have one for tomorrow but I am afraid that if we have a second baby the apointments will become like a dentist's apointment (1 every six months which you avoid and become 1 every 9 or so months).

DONT mastrubate if you are over 28-30 this will make you miserable and the fun part is that your wife may divorce for being miserable even though she made you miserable in the 1st place

Answer 7

Yes, it's normal. My husband and I have to plan for sex like it's a doctor's appointment or something, and we only get to do it once a week, unless I'm on my period, which means no fun that week. Sometimes he has to satisfy himself, and I feel bad about it, but at the same time, neither of us has time to do everything every day. Like I said, we make an appointment, and we keep it. We have our own games we play to keep it fun and kinky, and it works for us. Be creative, and accept that making appointments for intimacy is a fact of life for about 18 more years.

Answer 8

I'm with ya brother, all mother, no wife, I've looked elsewhere, tired of her "sexual scraps" once a month. Save yourselves while you still can, buy a lock for the bedroom door, get up in the middle of the night or an hour earlier. Make each other first in your lives, do not allow life's events, and yes, even the kids, come between you or you can kiss it all buh bye.

Answer 9

WE WERE IN THE SAME BOAT. 2 months ago i found out the my husband was cheating on me, and he said that it was because i was not giving him any attention.."no sex". we also have 2 kids(3 year old and a 9months old baby)...any ways!! i decided to give him a second chance and our sex life got a lot better and some how we manage to do it almost any time we want. i am talking about 3 to 5 times a day. its hard but it is possible...work on that... good luck!!!

Answer 10

You would benefit from going on weekends out, or even a night out (ending in a hotel,) providing you have good family who can be there.

Abstaining can make you drift apart. It has for us. Sex use to be a major form of bonding for us. If you still have the touching part, (affection,) then you're way ahead of us.

Answer 11

you need to make time for each other. Have you ever started having sex when you were exhausted but by the time if was over you were really into each other. don't let exhaustion stop you from being intimate. your relationship depends on it. maybe not now but a few years from now you will wish you had done something about.