I remember loving my husband more than life it self... And now i think about what life would be like with out him and if it would be worth going out there and seeing what is out there.. Its so hard for me to believe that you fall in love, get married, and then deal with your spouse for the rest of your life....I have a wonderful son and I have want nothing more than for him to be happy but I dont think he will be happy if is mother is not...The last thing I want is to become one of those bitchy wives...I don't like my thought process with him. So I guess I just need to know is it possible to be in love with some one forever? Why should we settle?
2006-12-22 14:41:45 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thats because your perception on marriage was or is wrong. Marriage is about sharing a life. Merging to lives together. Its not about finding someone to place your life into their hands and when you want it back you take it. Learn to share and quit being so damn selfish. Its not all about you. If you cannot get freedom in your marriage then you should stop playing victom and reestablish what your relationship is like today....NOW!!! Tell him how you feel you may be surprised if you dont point fingers at him. He may have the same feelings. This does not mean your marriage is over is means that you should restablish your life and start living again. He may come along for the ride but if he loves you he will understand. Life is a paradox. Now its time for adventure something is showing you this. Whatever is showing you is saying please please take advantage of your life. Regret is opportunity spelled backwards.
2006-12-22 14:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by renew69 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've never been married before, but I've dreamed so much about it. I don't think I'll ever get married cuz my boyfriend has been married before and he tells me that marriage wont increase our love for each other. Anyway I really do want to believe that a couple could be in love forever. And I think you are very lucky to have been married.
I heard that when you don't feel love anymore all you have to do is go back to the place you lost it. That's thinking of why you fell in love in the first place. That's going back to that time at your wedding and remember how much in love you were and the vows you promised each other, and how much you felt true what you said to him. Remember when everything he did put a smile in your face. I think this memories get lost in time by all the other responsibilities needs and wants we have.
What changed and at what time. Is that you don't spend enough time with each other. Or that you are thinking too much of all the bills you have to pay. Or maybe you don't compromise anymore.
I think you should also think of when you were pregnant and how you and your husband felt. Also when your baby was born. He was and is a big representation of your Love for one another.
To tell you the truth I don't see how someone could loose complete love when there is so many memories.
As for finding someone else to tell you the truth I think all relationships end the same. And the real thrill is when you just meet them because they flatter you. But after a while you'll only see their true self, and most of the time it's bad.
I really hope you and your husband find the love you have for each other. I wish your marriage well and that God keeps you in his memory.
2006-12-22 23:20:12 · answer #2 · answered by Domingo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think aobut wt made u fall in love in the frist place if u have kids and the same old retuine then change it a little have a night out toghter once a week with out the kids u need some alone time to get to know each other again if nothing else go to counsling talk it out dont ever give up to many peole do they always think the grass is greener on the other side but its not if u divorce and ree marry its gooing to be the same old thing after a few years with that other perosn the grass is never greener on the other side make it work u know u can if u relly want too
2006-12-22 22:51:08 · answer #3 · answered by bussty1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and your husband have lost some of the spark and passion you once had. The good news is that that is normal, and it happens to everyone. Anyone who tells you different is lying.
You won't always feel "in love" with your husband because marriage encompasses so many other things besides love, like paying bills and cleaning house, parenting, in-laws, and let's not forget body functions like burping, farting and puking. It's hard to keep romance alive when you see someone at their worst more often than you do at their best.
Having a good marriage takes work, sometimes lots of work, and sometimes you will be discouraged, like you are now. And sometimes you will be bitchy, but that's normal too. Life happens to all of us.
It sounds like you are irritated, bored, and cranky. I don't know you personally, so it's hard to offer advice, but I can tell you what we do to keep things interesting and fun: I take night classes. We each have our own friends and go out with our own friends without each other once or twice a month. We play kinky bedroom games. He has a photography hobby. We take turns cooking dinner. We tell each other we love each other everyday, whether we feel it or not, because love is a commitment, not a feeling. We go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant every Friday night, but we don't talk. We just sit and eat and read, enjoying being alone with each other.
I hope I gave you some encouragement. Please don't torment yourself with what else might be out there. Turn on the television, and you will see what's out there. Lonely single women looking for true love in the clubs, incurable sexually transmitted diseases, confused, angry children of divorced parents, and women struggling to make ends meet on one income, just to name a few.
You will get through this. It will just take a little bit of effort and creativity on your part. I wish you the best, and have a Merry Christmas too.
2006-12-22 22:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You selfish woman, I'll bet this guy would give his life for you and your willing to let him do it with no regrets. How selfish can you be? When you fell in love with him was it the spark and the excitement that kept you in love with him? You know people mature over the years but I can see you have not. You should count your lucky stars everyday for all of your blessings. A son (you don't care about him either), do you want to break his heart? Why is it all about you? I'll bet that you are spoiled rotten and he has do do something for you before you'll even entertain sex, I think you need to see a therapist for your self righteous ego, I don't even know you and I can't stand you! Merry F_cking Christmas you ungrateful wench.
2006-12-22 23:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You still love your husband..its just that you both have to work out the spark again. Very common happen in long term couple and married people, you both get too comfortable with each other and the spark, the attraction is just gone.
Go and live it up again. Romantic dinner, new adventure in sex, gv him nice little suprise and sweet sms now and then.
If you both doesnt having argument and very busy w work; you still can spark up your marriage life again.
We always think that the grass is greener in the other side until you lost someone who is with you, then you will regret it
2006-12-22 22:49:46 · answer #6 · answered by AlisonJonshon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because I`m out there. I can put the shock back in electricity. Seriously, as a man I am not a dog but I am one of those people who gets bored easily and likes variety with women. I love women but I do not have to have continous relationships with them. I enjoy spending time with women without a serious commitment and spend it with excellent quality no matter how spectacular or dull it might be. Best of luck to ya`.
2006-12-22 22:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by neanderstrat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT impossible....my parents were married for almost 45 years and they loved each other very much. Keeping a loving marriage together is hard work...they're are so many divorces because people are not willing to work hard and it's easier to give up.
2006-12-22 22:50:24 · answer #8 · answered by Aine14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps more and more people are starting to think that monogamy for eternity is for penguins, not people. Perhaps it is more than just "familiarity breeds contempt."
Instead of pulling out religious quotes and thumping their favorite religious text and warning us of hell, I would rather just at least discuss the idea that perhaps we are best with different people at different stages of life.
Thanks for bringing up an interesting question.
2006-12-23 02:36:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have never got married.For better for worse in sickness and in health.NOW you want to see what is out there????Shame on you!!!! If you thought you were settling you never should have got married.Explain all this to your son.Tell him mommy needs to explore what is out there because daddy does not do it for her anymore.You are shameless!!!
2006-12-22 22:49:12 · answer #10 · answered by Mr Bellows 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋