my husband of six years is cheating on me. He likes porn, and thats fine, but he's seeing other women now.

Question

We have 3 children, I never get to go out. Leaving him at the present is not an option.

Answer 1

All men enjoy looking at other women. Sometimes, it's an escape to look at visual content. On the other hand, it's not right that he is cheating. Confrontation is difficult if you don't have hard facts; even then the truth hurts like hell and will not make things better, just you hunch that you were correct. Look at your relationship and ask youself if you are fulfilling his desires and fantasies. Are you an openmined person? I mean, if you are comfortable with your sexuality, then he should be a satisfied man. If you are doing everything you can and he still strays, then he's a piece of crap and when you get the chance and have the means, get out as fast as you can. Before that though, look long and hard and evaulate. Communicate with him, be open, very open.More open that you've ever been; try to keep your judgement to a minimum and dont' pass judgement too quickly; that will only piss him off and he'll just deny cheating.People hate like hell to admitt that they are wrong; but you have to tell him that you are willing to fogive and move onto a new chapter in your relationship. You must maintain that you are a person of quality and that you demand the respect, first and formost!!

Answer 2

Most often women are put into a situation like this. You and your children sound to be dependent on this man. He knows it and therefore will do whatever he wants to because there is no price to pay. He knows you can't leave because of money or no means of support for you and your children. The only thing you might be able to do right now is to stop sleeping with him. You have to cover yourself, you have no idea what he is sleeping with and what he is bringing home to your bed. Don't sleep with him and tell him why. Then you should start to make plans to get out of there. Unless you can talk to him and he is willing to try to make your marriage work, then you have an obligation to your children and yourself to try to make a life of your own, even if that means doing that while living in the same house with your husband.

Answer 3

Why isn't leaving an option? Are personal humiliation and degredation viable options for you? That's what he's doing, degrading and humiliating you right? I have been where you are, and I didn't think leaving was an option either, mostly for financial reasons...You know what? Suicide wasn't either, which is what started to appeal to me as my self esteem eroded more and more because of what I was allowing him to do to me. I had 4 children, and by staying with my husband I was doing a serious mis-service to them, because kids aren't stupid, they know when you aren't happy and eventually they figure out why. Do you have a daughter? What would you tell her to do if SHE was in your shoes? Would you tell HER to stick it out, that leaving wasn't an option? I think not. Contact your local domestic violence shelter, and explore an exit strategy. You ARE definitely being emotionally abused, and abuse IS abuse, PERIOD...

Ah, but you might say "But I love him...." No you have self esteem issues, because his behavior has made you to feel "less than". Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline, talk to a counselor there, get out and seek counseling for yourself and your kids...You deserve SO much more than this man....Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 4

Its either leave or let your children see its okay to be a doormat. There are always options now they might be hard but there are. Catch him in photos cheating but dont say anything to him then borrow money and file for divorce get him for everything you can the house the car alimony and child support. Dont take this stand up and be proud

Answer 5

I am sorry that you are hurt... Does he love you at all? Because I know there are guys out who would go and cheat on their girlfriends or wifes but still come home and bring their love home... so they just use these other girls for sex... that's all.
You should worry about catching something from him... make sure he is safe...My advise ... use a condom if you are still doing it with him and get a new wardrobe...Don't fight... that never helps.. and don't think that you are the only one out there suffering right now. I know it sucks but hey you have 3 beautifull children and most likely he'll stay with you guys and dump the hores...Take control...

Answer 6

You are correct..
Men like porn..
Porn does not harm the marriage..
Women should try to watch some porn with
their men over a few drinks...
Cheating is another story altogether..
Cheating is not fine...
He needs to stop cheating..
What can you do to reignite sexual excitement in your marriage ?
Watch some porn with him over a few drinks...
Anything you have not tried ( avoided ) in the bedroom ?

Answer 7

i can see that maybe u staying for finical reason if u are stying for the kids its not worth it and u should confrunt him about it and talk to him about gooing to councling hes dooing the cheating for a reason and if he refuses then leave him there is always child suport he can pay u to help u out with them dont sit thre liek a sitting duck and let him get away with it think better of your self

Answer 8

So, what is the question? You have obviously made up your mind that leaving and divorcing him is not an option. So I guess the only thing for you to do is deal with it. Sad for you. God bless****

Answer 9

Just because you have 3 kids does not mean that you can't leave him. He apparentlly is not thinking of you or the kids while he is out with this girl. He is a jerk you and your kids deserve better then that.

Answer 10

Why stay with him?? You really want your children to think this is a normal life??? Need to weigh your options and leave him_