My husband and I have been married for a year. We are a healthy 25 year olds, but since we got married he seems not to be interested in me. I have talked to him directly and he says that he is not like that, but I heard that before I came to his life, he was quite the ladies man. He is always tired, has homework, or some other excuse. I have tried the sexy undies, no clother, etc. I really need help. I tried to get professional help but he refuses. HELP!!!
2006-12-22 14:08:52 · 16 answers · asked by Monica V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Either he is cheating on you, or he is simply not very sexual. I have bn married three times, and my second husband was not sexual. He always had excuses as well, and although I believe he loved me, I did not sign up for a celibate marriage. He cut off our sex life when I was 33 - that is a woman's prime!!!! (we weren't even married yet - I just didn't know the lack of sex was going to be permanent.) Do not put up with this for very long - it will not change. I know this from my experience and also a girlfriend of mine is living the same frustration. If he is cheating, that is another story, but I still would not put up with it.
2006-12-22 14:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by Hopefully wiser now 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I have only been married a year too. I KNOW my husband loves me more than anything but we rarely have sex. I used to think the same things you were, that is was you, or he was cheating, or you were unattractive, etc. I talked to my husband, I cried to my husband and I told him how much I wanted to make love to him. I tried sexy undies, porn, everything and still nothing. He would barely even get an erection and what he did get he didn't maintain.
One night I was yelling at him telling him how bad I felt and how he must be cheating on me since he won't touch me and he broke down into tears. He told me that he can't get/maintain an erection and he's embarrassed and doesn't know what to do. Once he got it out in the open, we are able to discuss it and have been to see a doctor.
ED can be caused by so many things like stress, being overweight or anxiety about not being able to get an erection. And yes, it IS normal and common, all these other people telling you it's not normal and you'll never have it back and he doesn't love you or to get drunk and watch porn......whatever. They have NO CLUE what they are talking about.
Make sure that's not the problem. It may be but it's hard for a man to admit that.....they seem to hing so much of their self esteem on their ability to make love to the woman they love.
Good luck sweetie, you'll figure it out!
2006-12-22 15:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by C J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am 25 and i am facing the same issue as you too.Trust me, if the guy is simply not sexual (like my hubby), u can attach a pole in your bedroom and he still won't move an inch!
My advise to u (since im going thru it too) is to try and address the issue to him and let him know that sex matters to u. Give him some time and if he still does not budge, it's time to pack your bags! Trust me, as much as we love our man, if he can't be MAN enough, it's definitely going to take a toll on us!
Goodluck!
2006-12-22 15:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he really has some issue's, some inter conflict, feeling over whelmed about something, worries......or he's withholding his self because he's got some quilt going on.....might be cheating.
When I was 25 and my wife did the sexy undies thing, hell, I never got enough then, ha.
2006-12-22 14:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by noel_1939 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my friend is EXACTLY in the same situation. they are mid 20s and he doesnt touch her with a 10 foot pole, and she gets hit on by anything with two legs and that has a penis between their legs. you guys are DONE in regards to having a relationship. you will never get him back onto that same level again. my friend's man doesnt hug, touch, kiss, etc. they havent had sex since march and she is beautiful. now i have had a rough relationship with my ex, and once that feeling is gone, there is NO WAY to get it back. people try, and waste their time. you better do something about this, b/c your eyes are going to start to wonder to the first guy who has a personality, and is willing to give you that hug, kiss, and that romantic nibble on your ear. i know this b/c?..................my friend might be engaged, but she is cheating on him with a different guy for the last 6 months, and has tried to break it off with this guy on the side, and b/c of what he gives her...she cant....good luck....pinkbju@hotmail.com if you want to talk one on one
2006-12-22 14:29:30 · answer #5 · answered by brianju 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
something is going on when a healthy 25 year old man does not want to have sex. Something is very wrong with this picture. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-22 14:12:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
although it is not normal it is also not uncommon
ask him to help you resolve your issues of wanting to be desired by him so that he doesn't think you have come to the conclusion that it is all his fault. and if you have come to that conclusion get over it this stuff is solved by changes from both of you.
he may be reluctant to spend the money on a professional and if you suspect that to be the case try church counseling if he will agree
2006-12-22 14:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by David C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he in school? maybe he is tired, be patient. Going to school is hard work. But then again, he could take 1 hour to spend some intimate time with you in between.
2006-12-22 14:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try watching some porn with him over a few drinks...
Tell him that you love him but the lack of intimacy in the marriage is going to drive you to divorce...Soon....
2006-12-22 14:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well,,, I can tell you one thing... it aint get any better... so if you think you can't deal with it... move on or find someone to date or a lover... don't stay pathetic and miserable...Yes I agree with Hopefully above... I was in the same shoe
2006-12-22 14:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋