I have started dating a man I really really am attracted to and have a lot in common with. The problem is that he is from Uzbekistan, and is muslim. He says that even though he is 30, his parents would not like it at all if he were to marry an American. He wants to date me anyways, but I am not sure if it is worth it to put in all the work knowing that the odds of him wanting to marry me will be slim. I don't want to just be filling space until he meets the right Uzbek girl. At the same time, I really think that we have a lot of potential. Should I walk away or wait and see?
2006-12-22 13:49:14 · 11 answers · asked by sugar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have only been dating a few months, he told me because he is struggling with what to do about the feelings he has. Also I wanted to add that Uzbekistan is not an Arabic country, it used to be part of Russia in Central Asia, there are many muslisms there, but it isn't government sactioned and regulated like you find in Arabic countries. The issue isn't about my not being muslim, it is about my not being Uzbek, and keeping the bloodline/race pure. Thanks for all the answers.
2006-12-22 15:07:27 · update #1
it is a real life relationship. He lives here in America, near me. We spend a lot of time together, and his English is great.
2006-12-22 16:03:12 · update #2
It would really depend on the two of you.
I know that this can be hard but if you do fall for him and he follows what his family wants you will only be hurt in the long run. I should know been there done that but I did have my happy ending.
I met my husband 5 years ago. I was a Christian and he is a Arab Muslim. When we first met he did not give me the heads up about his family like your guy did but when they came here a year later I found out quickly I was not good enough in their eyes. For the next 3 years we would be on and off while he would try to please them and start into an arranged marriage and then back out at the last minute 3 times and come back to me. Finally he decided that he had to follow his heart and we were married last year. He has not spoken to his family in 2 years because they could not except that their son had made his own decision.
If you go down this path I wish you the best. I know how hard it can be. If you need any more help you can contact me through my profile.
2006-12-22 14:03:06 · answer #1 · answered by Layla 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't run, I followed my heart, and I have never been more happier in my life! I am an American, and I married a man from Saudi Arabia who is also a Muslim. Every culture is stereotyped and bad things are said about everyone on a daily basis. My husband treats me like a queen. He respects my religious preference, and I respect his. My in laws are great. My family loves his family as well. So it is really a matter of asking yourself because only YOU know what kind of person this man is and how you feel about him. Follow your heart !
2006-12-22 14:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by Plex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl. Wow I have lots to say. where do I begin? Okay first of all how long have you two been dating? First and foremost I would say get to know his family more and definitely more about the culture. Yes, Muslim families will most likely be very against their son or daughter marrying someone besides their race. They not only wouldn't allow their son to marry an American but in any other race. They like a Muslim to marry a Muslim. Same goes for other Eastern countries. If you like you should definitely watch the movie "Not Without My Daughter." Sally Field is the main character in this movie. This is the movie that teaches you cultural differences. Sally Field, an American, marrys an Iranian Doctor. It is very intersting and I am sure you will love it. I am Armenian, Christian. You should google it just to read some reviews of the movie. I am sure u will like it. I am very aware of the Muslim culture. They are very strict on their rules, can be rude, overprotective, extremely religious, pray several times a day and many are abusive; however, I am not trying to sterotype and I am saying that this happens in majority of the Muslim culture but many can be Americanized and not religious. I believe you should stay with him to give it a try. Yes you are attracted to him but do not give out your heart to him so soon. Keep going out with him and ignore his parents. He is 30 years old he is old enough to make his decisions. About 2 yrs ago I was talking to a guy who was Persian, Muslim. After 2 months later i dumped his ***. He was very religious, he seemed like I was about to get myself into an abusive relationship; however, his mom was okay w/ us dating and I didn't comply to their culture and their religious beliefs. I was 19 at the time, now I'm 21. I have a boyfriend who is Mexican, Catholic. I have been w/ him for 1 year and 1 month. His parents love me and i mean loveeeeee me. I love them to. They are wonderful to me. However; when I told my parents that I liked him back in February (at the time we had been dating for 2 1/2 months) my parents flipped. They almost threw me out of the house. I have been secretly keeping out relationship quiet since February. It has been very hard, sad, depressing, and I am emotionally hurt n fuked up b/c of my parents. However, I will be moving in w/ my bf within few weeks or months. I can't stand it b/c till this day my parents still bring up the subject and yell at me and call me stupid, idiot, and my mom even spit at me and said "I hate u." It has been very hard. The point of my story is do not listen to anyone tellin u who to date. it is between you and him. okay. I WISH U GOODLUCK ON YOUR DECISION. best wishes.
2006-12-22 14:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My dear: the man is telling you he is not going to marry you.
why don't you listen before you get hurt.
He may be very nice from a nice family but you are an AMERICAN
not looked upon with fondness by this culture.
You asked "SHOULD I WALK AWAY OR WAIT AND SEE?"
you already know the answer to the question 'WALK AWAY'
find someone who is American, We have a lot of nice guys. OK
Good luck and be happy.
2006-12-22 14:42:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should wait and see, maybe then he will realize that you two are meant to be. But once you feel something really strong let him know and if he still says that he will not marry an American then let him go.
2006-12-22 13:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get out while you can. Had a friend same situation they went as far as to get married in his country thewy moved back to the states, after two minth the guy moved back to his country never to return. These things never work out.
2006-12-22 13:54:30 · answer #6 · answered by thedocisin 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is this an online-yahoo-messenger 'relationship'? Please tell me you've met in person or something.. ::rolling eyes::
Seriously. I wouldn't worry. You keep chatting with your Uzbek, and whenever it gets to be too much just block him and go on with your life. Everything will be ok.
2006-12-22 16:00:22 · answer #7 · answered by supernaturaldj2000 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would think twice before entering this union even in just dateing as he has already told you he wlould never marry you ,,,,Their family boss the children in whom they marry and bear his children for sure and women are nothing in his country,,,
2006-12-22 13:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by Gypsy Gal 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would cut my losses and go now. He has already made it fairly clear he is not going to marry you. So unless you are just having fun, cut your losses and run now. God bless****
2006-12-22 14:15:04 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Run, don't walk, to escape! If you enjoy being mistreated, you'd love being married to an Islamic.
2006-12-22 13:56:33 · answer #10 · answered by dragunov 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋