My so-called best friend is a gay male. We met in college because we both liked drinking and dancing. It was always a surface friendship that we perceived as being much deeper, but never truly was. The more I get to know him (known since 1998) the more I realize we have very little in common. He lies to me and I've busted him. He keeps sleeping with this same horrible person who has ripped his heart out despite my advice and then lies to me because he knows I will ask him why. I don't see how I can continue in a friendship that is going nowhere and especially with someone who calls me his best friend, but lies frequently. When I think about ending the friendship, it doesn't make me sad. Almost seems like a relief that I won't have to deal with the gay drama anymore. His reaction would be horrible as he thinks everything is fine. He also recently asked me to move in with him. In my better judgement, I can't. How do I handle and/or possibly end a friendship and tell him I won't move in??
2006-12-22 13:10:55 · 6 answers · asked by GiMo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You don't necessarily have to end the friendship. Just distance yourself from the friendship. Tell him thanks but no thanks about the offer to room with him but you've found another arrangement. That's all you have to tell him. If he pushes for an answer, just change the subject. Stop getting together with him as often (there are plenty of polite excuses you can use); just do an occassional lunch, etc. You can still be his friend through the years... but from a distance (cards, emails, occasional get togethers).
2006-12-22 13:16:00 · answer #1 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-15 11:35:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to end the friendship and feel uncomfortable about doing it face to face with him, then write him a polite, friendly, honest and direct letter. Make clear why you want to end your friendship, do not attack any personality traits, instead focus on your differences and why you think you is time to end the friendship. He may call you, see you, or write you back and then it should be less difficult for you to handle.
2006-12-22 13:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by nowhere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to end the relationship....but let him know that you are sick of him turning to you and treating you like a "parent figure". There is no reason to lie to your friends even when you continuously make the same bad decision. Also you need to be cautious of your responses when he does turn to you,You don't have to be happy for all of his choices...BUT don't over react either. Good choice to not share rent!!!
Good Luck
2006-12-22 13:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may as well be honest about it, its not easy, but at least you will feel relieved, it might even save your friendship
2006-12-22 13:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by dickyhart001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the third answer....
2006-12-22 13:20:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋