My husband and I have been seperated for 9 months. He has done some cruel things and told lies. We seperated over his drug using porno addicted 16 year old son. He has initiated therapy and says he is sorry and willing to do anything to get me back. I am not sure of his motivation. I think he is lonely and I am comfortable.
2006-12-22 12:22:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
trust can be demolished easily and quickly but is rebuilt again over time. if he is willing to begin the process of this rebuilding realizing that it cannot happen overnight i think he deserves the chance to prove that he has changed by his actions not just words. whatever you do do not rush so quickly back that issues that need to be resolved are glossed over. if you turn him away now in favor of your comfort you may be settling for comfort over happiness!
2006-12-22 12:35:17 · answer #1 · answered by David C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are on the right track. Don't get hooked into the honeymoon stage, where everything is great until you and he are comfortable again and then your back into the same situation. I would wait. If he is in therapy, let him continue that for a while. I would talk with the therapist and when the therapist says things are resolved with his cruel, lying behavior then start over, slowly and if you are still available.
2006-12-22 20:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the therapy to find out his motivation. You can express that concern with the therapist and it will help determine his real motives. Dishonesty is a hard thing to overcome. It's not so easy to trust someone after being lied to. If you still love him and want a life with him you owe it to yourself to give it a shot. If not, let him go and get on with your life.
God bless you!
2006-12-22 20:38:37 · answer #3 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go back if your comfortable. Why go back and be treated that way again and then just go through this all again. And if you do decide to take him back make sure that he has changed. Most men lie to get what they want, can't trust them. Good Luck
2006-12-22 20:27:50 · answer #4 · answered by B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your wasting your time!
there are plenty more hot single men out there.
not everything can be perfect but you should always live life to the fullest.
get out there become more outgoing and meet some new eligible men.
you never know you could probably find your new prince charming!
good luck.
2006-12-22 20:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by Millie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a hard thing and living in a trustless marriage is no life. I lived in one for eight years. If you are not ready to do this, dont. His lonesomeness is no reason to take him back.
2006-12-22 20:37:58 · answer #6 · answered by mouse4211 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u are confortable with life, than give it some more time before u decide let him prove to u that he is worthy of your trust. let him show u through his actions words are cheap.
2006-12-22 20:36:53 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IN THIS CASE, IT DON'T HAPPEN OVER NIGHT.........WHAT I MEANT ABOUT THAT IS.....JUST TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME...IF YOU'RE COMFORTABLE ABOUT THIS SEPARATION SO BE IT... YOU HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO LIVE WITH...HE NEED HELP.....PROFESSIONAL HELP........AND HIS SON... IF HE CANT MIND YOU LET HIM STAY OUT THE DOOR TOO.. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY WITH THAT KIND OF DRAMA....HE WANTS TO BE GROWN LET HIM BE.....
2006-12-22 20:37:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him not so fast there. He needs to prove that he's changed and for good. Then maybe you will consider it.
2006-12-22 20:31:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on you have wasted enough time on this loser
2006-12-22 20:24:40 · answer #10 · answered by kd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋