I Just had a baby. He wants to be held 24/7?

Question

I Just had a baby. He wants to be held 24/7. I tried feeding rocking nursing him to sleep. Every time I leave his side he cries. He'll even wake up and cry if he feels me get out of bed. He will only stop if I pick him up. What should I do? He is 4 weeks old today

Please dont judge me. I do hold him all the time and I love my son very much. Its just that I need to put him down sometimes even if its just to care for my daughter make dinner wash bottles or shower. If I could sleep a solid 2 or 3 hours at night that would make me very happy.


I am a human pacifier. He will not suck a regular pacifier. After nursing he just wants to keep going and going

i have a baby sling and it hurts my back. he was 9/1 at birth

Answer 1

I feel for you. I do not believe that an infant this young should cry it out. He is too little for that. Babies cry for a reason. My son went through some fussy periods where I felt my arms and my back where going to give out but I held him. He is a very independent 12 month old that hardly ever wants to be cuddled during the day. I actually miss being able to hold him, like when he was smaller.

You are doing a good job. I would recommend asking for other people to help you out with him. The interaction will be good for the both of you. When my son was small, I lived away from family and most of our friends. It was tough making it through the day. Some things that helped me, was asking for help from some local friends, using a bouncer seat, taking my son for walks in the stroller, putting him in a sling and carrying him most of the day, or putting him in the swing. I also swaddled him a lot. Babies love the feeling of being held tight. If you need to pee or change clothes or do something right then where you cannot hold your little one, it is ok to put him down. I would not however, let him scream and cry for any longer than necessary. By you attending to him now in these early months, he is learning about trust.

A breastfed baby will eat more frequently than a formula fed baby and when they hit a growth spurt they may eat every hour on the hour for a couple of days until they are done growing. Your baby may be in a growth spurt. Also at this age, they eat frequently every 2-4 hours. Their stomach is the size of a golfball and can only hold tiny amounts of food.

When you breastfeed, do not switch sides. Let him decide when he is done. And when he is done, offer the second breast. He may take it or he may not. Offer the second breast first for the next feeding.

Some babies are very slow eaters while others nurse fast. If you switch to soon, your baby may not be getting enough hindmilk. Hindmilk is rich in fat and nutrients. If the baby does not get enough of this, then they want to feed more frequently because they are not getting enough calories. If your baby spits up a lot and is really gassy or has runny stools these are also signs that your baby is not getting enough hindmilk.

I would recommend talking to a lactation consultant. They will help you with any breastfeeding issues or concerns that you may have.

http://www.lalecheleague.org/

If you can, try to take naps when your son does. You may even want to consider co-sleeping with him. Whenever my son, went through a growth spurt, I just rolled over and nursed him at night. We both rested so much better. Their are safe ways to co-sleep and as a breastfeeding mom myself I would highly recommend it during the early months.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

Good Luck to you. You sound like a wonderful mother. Hang in there and ask for help so you can take a much needed break!

Answer 2

Relax. IF you don't have an extra set of arms (dad, grandma, grandpa, mother in law, friend, sister, neighbor, lady from church, anyone?)Make sure he's still swaddled tight. This will give him the feeling of security and he may not wake up. Also, don't put him in bed with you. It's just not safe, especially with you being as tired as you are. Do you have a swing or vibrating bouncy chair? I would definitely invest in one as soon as possible!! They are a life saver (as well as a back saver) My son slept in his bouncy chair for 6-8 hours straight. We went through some batteries but it was worth it. Are you sure he's getting enough when he nurses? Don't try to rush him, at least 30-40 minutes on the first side then as long as he wants on the other. Make sure you start on the same side you left off on the next time. Do you have that full and empty feeling? Are you able to express or squirt in the shower so you know you have milk?
Last of all, if nothing else helps and all else fails, think of it this way... You got yourself a snuggler!! 4 years from now this little baby boy won't even let you sneak a hug in much less a snuggle!!
Good luck!!
(and I truly am sorry about your stressful situation)

Answer 3

Even though I know you said that he won't suck a regular pacifier, you might want to try the NUK brand. It's the only kind my daughter will take (along with the bottle nipples). Try feeding more or swaddling, as others had suggested, and as he's swaddled, give him a NUK. It may help to sooth...even though they don't recommend giving babies a stuffed animal, I had a smaller stuffed animal that she couldn't suffocate or choke on, and I gave it to her. She won't sleep until she has it! It's just a suggestion and I wish you the best of luck! P.S. My daughter is 6 months old and likes to wake up at 2, then 5, then 9...yuck

Answer 4

You need a break! this is a great time to involve dad or grandma or aunties and uncles or even a mom's helper if you can afford it. I truly believe children need to learn to be good sleepers but not at one month. At one month they don't understand their world and need help to process all that info. I really believe in slings and still carry my seven month old when she's fussy or sick. You need to express some milk so other people can help you and your baby. I don't know your situation but I do know that rest is absolutely necessary for a new mom. And it will get easier just not overnight. Good Luck

Answer 5

Get a baby carrier, they hold the child right on your torso. My daughter cried alot.. also, remember, letting your child cry for 10 -15 minutes is ok. It won't kill him. You do need to pee and feed your other kids and yourself. He will get over it... just make sure that when he is over this, that he does not demand the same thing out of habit for security

Answer 6

Have you tried swaddling? It might be that he wants to be held tightly to feel secure. Also try putting him on a used burp cloth, or one that smells like you. As for not sucking a paci, my third is this way. It does make for a harder to console baby. But, as I remember, four weeks was about the worst it got. After a couple of months, you will get a little routine going, and things will get easier (including his wanting to be held).

Answer 7

i hear ya mommie. try wrapping him really tight. (swaddling) it brings them comfort as when they were still in the womb. let him fuss a bit...you are "training" him to be picked up immediately when he cries. keep trying the pacifier...you might need to switch to a different one. i had one baby who wouldn't take the pacifier unless i made it stay in place by wrapping a blanket around the pacifier to hold it in place...he got used to it in a few days. don't feel guilty. after swaddling him, lay him in his side and pat or rub his back w/o picking him up. leave the room. let him fuss a bit. pat his back a bit more w/o picking him up. he needs to learn how to "self-soothe." you can swaddle him and put him in a baby swing too...some babies are into the feeling of motion. since you're a human pacifier, put the pacifier in his mouth directly after nursing, and continue to hold him for a few minutes before laying him down. he'll catch on soon. very best of luck to you, and happy holidays!!
EDITS: you might even try putting a heart-beat bear, or wind up alarm clock that "tick-tocks" near him...that one worked for my adopted son.
EDITS: omg what an idiot dodds is!!! "tit" feeding? the breasts are an organ. breastmilk is the best food for human infants...even if just for a short while. if you don't breast feed, your chances of breast cancer are higher dummy. mostly everyone who answered gave awesome advice...thumbs up to all who did!!

oh, i know about "high needs" babies, my adopted son was addicted to drugs and alcohol. he reeked of alcohol when he was born. he had no sucking reflex or babinski reflex, was a "failure to thrive" baby, and almost starved to death before he was 4 weeks old and going through withdrawl symptoms. he screamed in pain for hours on end, and had seizures every hour for the first 6 weeks. i had very little help from my husband or health care professionals who said he was a lost cause. i carried him and rocked him around the clock. there was absolutely no comfort for this infant. he's 21 yrs old now...his entire life has been an uphill struggle.

Answer 8

Look I just had a baby myself and she wanted to be held all the time. I mean if you are breastfeeding maybe the baby isn't getting enough to eat and he is still hungry.

Get a swing and unless the baby is screaming his head off for twenty minutes then pick him up.

Maybe you should pump it and try it out of a bottle atleast then you will know how much he is eating.

My baby is three months now and she still dont sleep through the night so that is far from wher eyou are now. Get him to sleep then lie him now. My baby wouldn't sleep in her bassinet at all she just didn't like it. I put her in her bouncer and her swomg and she slept a lot better.

Get a white noise cd. Run a fan. Get one of those heart beat bears. Maybe that is what he needs.

Answer 9

One thing you may want to do is talk to your doctor ~ just to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with your son. When babies cry it's their way of communicating their needs... whether they are bored, sick or just sleepy. My son was the same way when he was first born. Turned out he had GERD and just didn't feel very good unless was upright (the position babies are usually in when they are being held). He was even admitted to the hospital.

There's nothing wrong with putting the baby down. You have to get stuff done. And it's okay if you let him cry. Babies have to learn to soothe themselves.

Answer 10

of course he likes to be held. you held him for 9 months.

check with your doctor and make sure his digestive system is okay.

after he eats make sure you burp him, careful, some folks thump those little backs so hard. to burp, put him belly down on your belly or chest and pull his knees up to his chest (you can swaddle him that way, tightly enough to hold his knees up, but not so tightly that it hurts him). to burp gently rub his back with your palm going up and down. the knees to chest opens up his digestive tract to expel gas (farts). he may be crying because he is gassy and it hurts.

when it is time for nap, put him in the crib and rub his belly or pat his back for a few minutes then leave. go far enough away so you can't hear him cry for five minutes then go back in and Don't Pick Him Up but pat his back and talk softly to him for a few minutes and go away again. this time for ten minutes (time yourself). keep this up. eventually, either that day or in a few days, he will start sleeping. don't pick him up till you are ready.

those few minutes you have timed for yourself away from the sound of the cries gives you a break. but you reassure yourself and him when you go back in.

giving a child the gift of being able to fall asleep and stay asleep to become a lifelong habit is the best gift you can give. anyone with an older child who has still never learned to sleep will help you appreciate that.

and, this is really, really important, you can not be the best possible mother you can be if you are tired all the time. exhausted mothers can become abusive mothers.

when he learns to sleep you will both be a lot happier.

good luck