I am in a relationship and wish to consider a celibate relationship with my boyfriend ( I am considering becoming an Ecist - a form of Buddhism/Taoism). Is is fair to ask my bf to also become celibate. The calling of an Ecist calls for celibacy for 1 year at a time - surely this is possible in a relationship?
2006-12-22 10:23:38 · 20 answers · asked by Kitty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hmmm Interesting. If he is cool with it. You have to respect his wishes too if this is too much for him.
2006-12-22 10:25:34 · answer #1 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK! Let's cut the cr@p. Why do you want to become celibate. It is a very unnatural way of life, until you get married, that is. Sex is a major part of most peoples lives and is a perfectly natural bodily function. Done with love and understanding it brings people closer together. What are you trying to escape from?
Has your upbringing made you feel uncomfortable having sex or is he so cr@p in bed that you get no pleasure from it and blame yourself?
Buddhism/Taoism/Ecistism are very controlling religions. The Ectis are the worst; deprivation of food, sensations, comfort or human contact is their way of isolating you from your humanity and leaving you more susceptible to their control. Their leaders care nothing about you, only their control over you. It's how they get their kicks.
Look at any relationship, in or out of marriage, sex is one of the main bonds, if sex is out, that relationship is strained and prone to failure. There is no chance that your bf will understand your reasons for cutting off his sex life, he will just believe that you don't fancy him any more and move on, to someone who really cares for him. If you are doing this to test his love, you're doomed.
2006-12-22 11:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are going to have very long relationships with any of your boyfriends.
I would keep your thoughts on religion to yourself. There's nothing wrong in wanting" to be celibate", but I wouldn't mention all that stuff if I were you............just make out to be a really nice girl whose waiting for the right male to come along...(and hope you can last the year).
2006-12-22 10:38:49 · answer #3 · answered by xyz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on where you are looking (ex: the difference between the bar scene and a place where you can meet people who believe what you believe) and how much your boyfriend loves you. it is absolutely possible to have a celibate relationship- i have before and although it can be hard- if the person loves you and respects you- then they should honor your request. sex is not a necessity and it actually is good for people who are dating to not have sex. i agree with your decision. it teaches two people how to relate on a totally different level w/o sexual gratification and it can actualy deepen your realtionship. if he truly is supporting you, he will become like your protector and guardian along side- helping you to keep your goal and standards. everyone says that you must have sex to know what it is like and see if you are compatible- that is a lie- i have tons of friends that are extremely attractive and have normal urges like eveyone else- but they dated for 2-3 years and waited for marriage to have sex. it can be a beautiful thing- i applaud you- good luck and don't listen to anyone who tells you it is not possible or that a guy will not be with you if your don't.
2006-12-22 10:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by ericar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why be celibate, why torture yourself like that. It's just not worth it. The only point in having a girlfriend is so you don't have to be celibate. If he wanted to be celibate he would go hang out with his friends and have a better time. Rethink this, IT IS CRAZY!
2006-12-22 10:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by T B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you do and what beliefs you choose to take are entirely up to you. If you are convinced you want to follow this particular path and your boyfriend isn't keen then you have a choice to make. If you've been sleeping together and then stop he'll probably freak out. Blokes are very fickle.
It's a tricky one and in reality this is what I think will happen. You'll tell him you can't have sex for a year and he'll find it somewhere else. If you go through with it then you'll find somebody like minded and everyone's a winner.
2006-12-22 10:48:52 · answer #6 · answered by Missing Link 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possible? of course it is...anythings possible. The point is does the brain feel committed to it, that's the real question. Yours may do, but he may not have the committment that you feel you will. You can certainly ask him but you can't get all righteous if he chooses not to join you in this. It's your choice, he has no right to try & stop you. It has to be his choice too, you don't have the right to try & force him. That I feel is where the problem will lie.
2006-12-22 12:33:44 · answer #7 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can I ask what planet you are from?
You are asking your guy to be celibate? HE will tell you so...and you will believe it till the other chick calls you up and says that she has been pregnant by YOUR MAN
My final answer: Get real girl
2006-12-22 10:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know your man good enough to answer that question logically. Just try and imagine not giving him any for one year, do you think he'll stick around for the long haul or haul ***?
2006-12-22 10:28:13 · answer #9 · answered by The R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with that. I doubt he will be celibate or that he will be your boyfriend for very long unless he's converting.
2006-12-22 10:26:18 · answer #10 · answered by supernaturaldj2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure is.But you should meet someone with similar beliefs to you.
Not expect a partner to change,because you have a whim.
2006-12-22 10:29:20 · answer #11 · answered by Butt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋