Neither of whom can understand that concept of "sharing"?? I'm about ready to blow my brains out!!
2006-12-22 10:02:23 · 5 answers · asked by bradxschuman 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please don't do that! You are giving your in-laws too much power over you. Christmas is a season that in-laws feel is appointed to be theirs especially if they are grandparents. All year they babysit, buy the children clothes, or help you financially without a peep counting on the holidays reap their glory. Without noticing or caring you set yourself up to give them this power. They take it because you give it to them. It's psychology, and they are older, more experienced at it than you. You will have to start taking inventory of what it is that you are doing that makes them make you want to take such drastic measures. Believe me I went through it to but thank God I had kids that kept my mind and heart in the game. Only you can stop them because they are okay with your issues. Do they give you and your husband money? Don't take any anymore. Do they babysit for free? Start taking Groceries or at least something to feed the kids. And stop using your in-laws for favors, become independant and they will start treating you with more respect. remove whatever lifestyle or action it is that makes them think they have a right to treat you this way REMOVE/STOP IT NOW. And you and your husband band together and alternate the holidays between families maybe even host the holidays yourself. Because one day the responsibility of hosting grandkids will be yours. Stay strong and take deep breathes throughout the day. It's normal I went through and now host Thanksgivings and sometimes Christmas.
2006-12-22 10:06:35 · answer #1 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family settled it easily. One year we went to Mum's parents on Xmas Day, and Dad's parents on Boxing Day. Next year, we swapped.
We went to each parents' place for Grandma's and Grandpa's Bithdays.
Easter isn't a big family get-together here in New Zealand, in the same way, and we don't have "Thanksgiving", so the issue never really raised it's head for the rest of the year.
(And the one time we all met at one place for Christmas proved how wise it was! Dad's father was from the UK and what we call 'Right-Wing' - Republican, in US, I think. Mum's father was NZ-born and staunch Labour - Democrat? "Fireworks" - and we don't have "4th of July", either!!)
Stick to Xmas Eve or Boxing Day with one side one year and the other the next year - and I mean "stick to it"!!
2006-12-22 10:18:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had that problem and it's rough. You have to be tough and you and your spouse united. You select holidays on the calendar and advise each what they got. The following year you switch. Stick to your guns. Be nice about it, but be assertive and do not back down.
Side A gets Easter and Xmas Eve
Side B gets Thanksgiving and Xmas Day
the following year we switch. They didn't like it, but they got used to it because we stated if they could not accept this, we'd just have to eliminate going because it was far too stressful and tiring and unfair for us to begin to hate the holidays.
2006-12-22 10:07:15 · answer #3 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alternate years. Spend one xmas with his family and the next one with yours.
2006-12-22 10:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by 2sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on vacation and leave them all
2006-12-22 10:12:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋