He and his wife both want to end their marriage. He has a 2 year old son and doesn't want to leave before Christmas because he wants to be with his son. He still lives in the marital home but says he has been as good as divorced for at least a year. He has purchased a new home and plans on moving out of the marital home and into the new home after the holidays. He is seeing another woman now while, for the time being, he is still sharing a home with his wife. He is sleeping with the new woman but can't tell his wife even though she wants out too. He seems like he likes the new woman. He's a nice guy. I don't know what went wrong in the marriage. What is the likelihood that this new relationship will work out?
2006-12-22 10:01:46 · 15 answers · asked by Oh Wise One 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u know just what he is telling u, if the wife wanted out too, than she would know his plans. feel sorry for the unsuspecting wife, as well as the new woman who is playing with fire, when she gives her love to a married man. even if he does leave his wife and child, how long will it be before he also wants to end the relationship with the new woman. never commit to someone who is married, as u are cheating his wife, no i doubt if he would give too many details of his marriage. can't build a relationship on the grief of someone else. as the karma involved will come back to u.
2006-12-22 10:14:08 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would first ask when did he start seeing the new woman. But even that is a tricky question because he started seeing her when he was still married. Now i know he says that he was basically divorced for the past year- but was his wife on the same page? I know he probably says she was- but who really knows. The new woman would have to first figure out what went wrong in the marriage- and if he won't tell her- that is not a good sign. Secondly, if he started sleeping with the new woman while still married- that would have to create some fear in the new woman's head that maybe if they ended up together- he would do the same thing to her, if things went sour. If he was a really "nice" guy- in my opinion, he would have ended the marriage, moved out and then started pursuing new relationships. I'm not saying it can't work, but it is risky- especially since he is hiding this from his current wife- Why would he do that if the marriage has pratically been over for a year now.
Some of his story just doesn't seem to add up- and if this woman wants to come across strong and independant- she should cut off the relationship and tell him that she is worth more than a secret affair- and when he is ready to go public- then maybe they can talk. Until that time, it is off. Women need to set boundaries- Most of the time we don't because we are so afraid the man is going to say "Hit the road. I don't need you anyways!" When it actually only benefits us- because 1st off if he does say- beat it- then he is not worth it. On the other hand- it might just be the thing that he needs to see that she is strong and won't be taken advantage of- and it can make him change. Never go into a relationship thinking you can change someone- they know they have you- so why would they change. Change can only come about- when something great is lost or someone has to weigh out if the consiquence is worse or more tolerable than the effort to become a better person. Good luck- but tell her to beware!
2006-12-22 10:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by ericar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may work out for a short time, but I wouldn't bet for a long haul. It may be a rebound relationship which will serve the purpose of making the divorce easier emotionally. But once the papers are signed, he won't need that crutch and will more likely want to play around for a while before getting into another serious relationship.
2006-12-22 10:12:27 · answer #3 · answered by 2sweet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is not fooling himself, he is trying to fool everyone else. The other house he purchase and still married, not divorced, is not just his. It is community property. Wife can claim half at divorce. he is playing the typical I want my wife and a mistress too. As for as him being a good dating prospect in the Long Haul, I would make a short haul and drop him off at the first truck stop. He is not worth it. Cheat on his wife, he will cheat on his gf, mistress and any one else.
2006-12-22 10:09:36 · answer #4 · answered by m c 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
slim to none sadly. Why don't you leave him alone and let him settle his business and get moved into his new house. Him being in a relationship right now isn't helping and if the wife does find out (which is why he's not telling her) it will cause him problems in his divorce proceedings and custody case. Depending on the state - it is illegal to have sex with a married person (it is in NC I know and here the wife could sue you for it).
Stay away and let him settle up his business.
2006-12-22 10:06:17 · answer #5 · answered by T C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
not good at all.
looks like he has not made his decision yet and is trying to live 3 lives. when this all comes crashing down on him you will probably want to be far away.
what is wrong with your self esteem? cant you try to focus on a man who is not as "busy" as your friend here?
why would you go after a guy that is still married, has a kid and is banging (having an affair). i dont get women sometimes?
make that never?
2006-12-22 10:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it seems strange that he cant tell his wife about dating if it is a mutal want for this divorce. there is something else there that you dont know about. it does not sound like a good idea to be involved with a man in this position.
2006-12-22 10:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope for your sake you aren't the new woman.
He is a terrible dating prospect and the whole situation is likely to end badly for all involved.
If it is you, get out now, immediately, and don't look back.
2006-12-22 10:05:18 · answer #8 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if he is still living there and hasn't told his wife he is seeing someone else I don't see it working at all. He is still married!
2006-12-22 10:14:11 · answer #9 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Slim to none--it's a rebound, and those are simply notorious for not working out.
2006-12-22 12:47:12 · answer #10 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋