this is not for the meek. i'm 35 and my wife is 32. five years ago, i was in a bus accident that left me disable - including substantial loss of use of my genitals. my wife has stuck with me, and been ever caring. she is actually inspring.
now, i know there are many ways to get a woman off - but, correct me if i'm wrong - having sex itself is pretty important to a woman. or at least to my wife.
i've been thinking about letting her have sex with somebody else. she'd never ask, but i know she's human and there times i can tell she wants to badly. i feel like its the right thing to do.
i don't worry that she'd leave me for another. i know in my heart she wouldn't leave me out to dry. but is it the right thing? could i cope with such a decision? how do i get through the night when she is out? how do i deal with her when she comes back. i want to let her - and i'm almost there - i almost have all of my issues work out - but give me any tips if you have them.
2006-12-22 09:16:31 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is hard issue to answer,
do you think that if you lay out all the rules, when a man come to your house, and that you can tell them what to do, wear, say and you call all the shots, and could give her oral,and use toys on her,
if she has sex with someone else, do you want it without you involved or with you involved?
Just bring a man a friend that you know, clean and will not abuse the relationship, and give it to her as a surprise, if she likes it, it may bring you the masquline power that you seeked, and the respect that you are looking for.
Being with disabilities, there are ways to please your mate.
look on the disablities and sex websites on how to stuff.
2006-12-22 09:24:03 · answer #1 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can understand why you would want to do this for your wife, and it is very selfless of you. It's clear you love your wife and she loves you. However, I think this could be a big mistake.
Allowing other men to come into the marriage is a dangerous game to play. Some people get off on that sort of thing - watching or hearing details of their spouse with someone else, but it can have devestating consequences. It could really open up Pandora's Box, and once you have taken that step, it is hard to go back.
Your wife has chosen to be with you, despite the lack of sex, and has done so for 5 years. I am sure that if sex was such a big issue to her that you think it is, she would have left long ago. I have gone through long periods without sex with my husband for various reasons, and to be honest, I could happily live without it, as long as we are together, and happy, which we are. If anything were to happen to him and he lost the ability to have sex, I would be more worried about the effect it would have on him, not me.
I can live without it, although it is a nice part of a marriage. But it isn't everything. If you have managed to cope without having sex, and your wife has, then you have a great partnership, and I would hold on to that with all you have. Don't go risking it all by allowing other men into the equation. What you have is very precious and many people out there never have what you have found.
2006-12-22 09:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is my feeling this would be the worse mistake of your life.
At best you would loose all intimacy with her which is about the worse thing that can happen to a marriage.
At the worse she would find someone that she would fall in love with and be gone. Sure it would be hard for her but with someone else to help her though it she could and would do it. She only goes through life once also.
You are much better off with using sex toys. There are many ways that you can satisfy her that would be even better than you.
There is a toy called the rabbit. Look for it on-line.
There are strap on dildos that you could wear that would give her some of the same sensation that normal sex would give her.
Of course if you are completely paralyzed that would not worked but it didn't sound like you are.
Never ever turn your wife over to other men. That can happen without your help anyway. There will always be a part of you that will regret giving the okay. Your head may say okay but your heart will never allow it.
2006-12-22 09:48:52 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are other ways to be intimate with your wife and I don't mean "getting her off." believe it or not she may be quite happy not having sex. Not knowing the limitations of how you can be intimate, cuddling holding that sort of thing goes a long way. you have to be a stong person emotionally to allow your wife to sleep with another man and I really don't think that my husband would give me that option if it were us.
Just a thought, my husband and I are going through a rough time for the past couple of years and sex is the last thing on his mind. I'm starting to look else where and may act on my urges because I'm not even getting a good old fashion round of cuddling. I get the kiss when he leaves in the morning and again when he goes to bed. I've tried everything, I've told him I understand that sex is the furtherest thing from his mind I just want to be held.
Talk to her...what you find out may surprise you.
2006-12-22 09:40:40 · answer #4 · answered by Pandora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is very tough but you are right there are many ways to be intimate with your spouse. You need to think long and hard about whether or not you want to allow someone else to have sex with your wife. By opening that can you open your relationship up to many many issues - disease is one, the fact that she may find someone and want to leave you regardless of what she says now, jealousy on your part. You may say now that you are fine with it but when it is over with and you KNOW that she's hooked up with another man you may feel differently. I would talk to her and find out if you are satisfying her. Woman have different sex drives than men sometimes and she may be completely happy with what you have to offer her.
2006-12-22 09:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by T C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry, i do understand your situation but i wouldnt let you wife go out and do that. U dont know how u will really feel until she has done it and what if you find out that you cant cope with it! there are sex toys, not the same i admit but its got to be betta than your wife coming home, getting into your bed when she smells of another man. It also is possible you may offend her if you offer her this option.
2006-12-22 09:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by piknik86 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are a wonderful husband to want to take care of your wife in any way possible. If I was in your shoes I wouldn't want my husband to go without sex. Sex is a very big part of life. (I am sure most of the righteous people on here won't admit it) I would let my husband have a sex buddy. The main thing is to be upfront and honest with each other. Open communication is what will make it work. Set boundaries and it will work out.
2006-12-22 09:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
In sickness and in health, through good times and bad, till death do you part. Look, I know she is human we all are. But, what most people don't seem to understand is the value of true love, endurence, and commitment. If you feel so strongly about the desire that you "think" she may crave, then find other ways to please her. Don't give your wife up. It would be like pimping your wife in a way. She loves you, and let the sexual side of this subside....Good luck my friend and best of wishes to you.. Keep the good lite in your sites and good intentions on the horizons...
2006-12-22 09:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by skawp 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow....you are not giving her much credit....talk to her...see if she would have any interest in doing that....I had cancer and we couldn't have sex for a year....my husband would never have wanted to be with someone else....I suggested it (half joking) and he was appalled....he said you are my wife, I love you, I will be here no matter what......she may say the same thing.....so, you have it mostly worked out for you but what about her???? Trust me...you don't want to open that door...you would never be ok with it and she probably wouldn't either......good luck
2006-12-22 09:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
2 and a nil.5 weeks after infant replaced into born in feb 2008 then in july i had to have labial stitches as ripped at childbirth and wasnt fastened no intercourse 4 weeks. we did sixty 9 the two circumstances after a week focusing on clit. in no way shrink if off through fact i replaced into mad wouldnt opt to as then i wouldnt get any intercourse. childbirth is the only reason i will see to no longer do it for a pair of weeks
2016-10-15 11:16:12 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋