If you text message a male friend from the past, strictly for purposes to see if he is okay (heard he was a mess from another source) would that be considered crossing the line?
2006-12-22 08:48:04 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No that is not cheating, if you have feelings for him then it can cross the line but if not you are just seeing how they are.
2006-12-22 08:51:35 · answer #1 · answered by Cherry Pie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't consider it cheating but there might be a possible cheating in the future. I would say no to the possible as well if you told your husband what your intentions were before you call this guy from the past. If you are sincere with just wanting to know how he is doing as a friend, then there shouldn't be any reason that you can't call him when your husband is there. that will also make your husband feel better that you called this guy when he is there. I have a Male friend and I talk to him when my husband is around and when I talk to him when my husband isn't , I tell my husband that I talked to my friend. My husband tells me I don't have to tell him every time I talk to my friend (which isn't very often) but I feel it is giving him respect. Just the same as he would tell me. If it is strictly friendship concern then there shouldn't be a problem as long as you call him in the presents of your husband.
2006-12-22 09:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by Karen A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking the question because you feel guilty about wanting to text him or is this already an issue in your relationship with your husband/BF/Fiance etc and you are looking for reassurance? If you feel guilty about this you may be thinking that you have some feelings for this guy and that you are committing some kind of emotional betrayal. It is not uncommon for people to hear that old friends are in trouble and express some level of concern about that. If you are actually attempting to help him out and your significant other isn't part of the helping out, then you may be testing some serious relationship boundaries. What is the intent of the message? Just to send a note of support? To offer to be there for that person? An ex is an ex. That isn't to say that you don't care about them anymore, but at the same time, it's not your place to involve yourself in their lives or relationships, or whatever else they have going on. Regardless, if you and your S.O. have a trusting and open relationship, you should be able to agree on what if any assistance or help you should give this person who is a mess. If it's a point of contention in your relationship, you need to worry about why that is, rather than trying to save the guy in different troubled waters.
2006-12-22 08:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by Curtis H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that you are in a relationship, talk to your S/O, keep the message friendly and don't let the ex think anything more than this is just friendly concern. If you don't tell the current person in your life, it seems as though you have something to hide. Secrets do eventually become known with disastrous consequences. Be honest at all times.
If you are not in a relationship what is the problem?
2006-12-22 08:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. But, this could be leading up to it! You need to ask if this were a gray area, would you still sneak a few texts out now and then anyway. Still, this just sounds like reminiscing. If that were wrong then everyone who went to a high school reunion would be considered cheaters. Enjoy, and give good advice if he is a mess.
2006-12-22 08:57:40 · answer #5 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you don't have feelings (i.e. lust) for this person, and it is strictly conversation to see how they are doing in life, etc., then I don't see a problem with it. A lot of folks past relationships are built on the fact that people are friends first before they become lovers, so naturally you tend to think of past people in relationships as friends, and that you have a general concern for them (except in cases when the breakup was really ugly!!).
2006-12-22 09:38:44 · answer #6 · answered by westsydegal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way, if this was your husband doing what you are doing would that be crossing the line? It sounds innocent, but I don't know if your feelings are more than what you claim or not. From the past? Is that mean your last boyfriend, last night, last week, last year, last marriage? If you boyfriend did this to you, and everything was exactly alike, would it be fair to you? That is the best way to answer this one. Best wishes and good luck.
2006-12-22 10:17:54 · answer #7 · answered by Gary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey of course not!!!!!! Whoever told you that needs to be smacked twice for saying something so retarded. All you did was text to see if he was ok! Why would that be cheating? It wasn't anything physical or you two weren't talking beyond what friends should be talking about so how is this cheating. Do not worry yourself over something like this. You have more important things to worry about then someone you were just checking on!!
2006-12-22 08:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ever had sex with the guy from the past. You can never speak with or write or even think about him again. Because you man will never be able to mentally deal with it. So tell your man you are sorry and that you have no idea what you were thinking. I hope he gives you a second chance.
2006-12-23 02:04:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend can be either male or female. A friend recovering from a problem can encourage you as well. Just don't stir up old feelings. Would you like it if your husband did the same thing?
2006-12-22 08:58:01 · answer #10 · answered by mojonah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋