About 2 years ago my boyfriend told me that when he and his sister were 10 and 9, they were 'forced' to have sex by thier baby sitter. Then about a month ago, that fact came up in conversation between him and his sister and his sister reminded him that they did it again at a different house. And now that they are 26 and 27 I feel like they are just too close. Should I even say anything or are all brothers and sisters that close??
2006-12-22 08:32:48 · 37 answers · asked by cuetee220 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well they dont have sex now just when they were young they are only a year apart so they would be very close anyways. And as for the babysitter, him and his sister never said anything to the police or their parents, I dont think they have to this day.
I am just going to have to confront him ASAP. If he tells me that I have nothing to worry about I will believe him cause OBVIOUSLY he is very honest and open with me. Even in public people think that him and his siter are a couple, when Im not there. Which says their body language is sexual right?? And he said he did enjoy it but because he was young and all boys like sex and he didnt know it was wrong? I think I would known it was wrong. And i agree that they wouldnt be talking about it so casualy either. But I will post again after I talk to him probaly after christmas.
2006-12-22 08:54:40 · update #1
Well they dont have sex now just when they were young they are only a year apart so they would be very close anyways. And as for the babysitter, him and his sister never said anything to the police or their parents, I dont think they have to this day.
I am just going to have to confront him ASAP. If he tells me that I have nothing to worry about I will believe him cause OBVIOUSLY he is very honest and open with me. Even in public people think that him and his siter are a couple, when Im not there. Which says their body language is sexual right?? And he said he did enjoy it but because he was young and all boys like sex and he didnt know it was wrong? I think I would known it was wrong. And i agree that they wouldnt be talking about it so casualy either. I just love him so much and I want this to work but this is a huge issue to me it really bothers me. Him and his sister are like Angelina Jolie and her brother But I will post again after I talk to him probaly after christmas
2006-12-22 08:55:47 · update #2
Well they dont have sex now just when they were young they are only a year apart so they would be very close anyways. And as for the babysitter, him and his sister never said anything to the police or their parents, I dont think they have to this day.
I am just going to have to confront him ASAP. If he tells me that I have nothing to worry about I will believe him cause OBVIOUSLY he is very honest and open with me. Even in public people think that him and his siter are a couple, when Im not there. Which says their body language is sexual right?? And he said he did enjoy it but because he was young and all boys like sex and he didnt know it was wrong? I think I would known it was wrong. And i agree that they wouldnt be talking about it so casualy either. I just love him so much and I want this to work but this is a huge issue to me it really bothers me. Him and his sister are like Angelina Jolie and her brother But I will post again after I talk to him probaly after christmas
2006-12-22 08:55:51 · update #3
They are both promiscuos, she isnt tied to any one yet and has twins and a two year old by different men, he has had sex with some women and not even remembered them. But I have been with him for four years and now I am seven months pregnant buy him. I would talk to him about it now but my dad is visiting till christmas. So untill then I am just gonna be stressed till then. As for the threesome, I made him get tested for STDs but as for his sis who knows and by the way EEEWWW!!
2006-12-22 11:05:14 · update #4
Ummm I'm not that close to my brother. Are they from Arkansas? You should get out of this relationship if your smart.
2006-12-22 08:36:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First off..Being THAT close to a sibling is not healthy. I would think that at a young age they'd rather not ever talk about it again but it seems that they did it again..I'd say something about it. If theres a situation that makes you uncomfortable it's best to put it on the table and say how you feel otherwise the problem won't ever be solved. Of course don't be harsh just say ' I'm alittle uncomfortable about you and your sister being so close'
Forced to have sex? I'd at least make sure that this 'babysitter' was pressed with charges, it's never too late.
2006-12-22 08:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by Vasha 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When children are sexually abused, it carries over into adult life. He and his sister were sexually abused, they are both scarred from this. People don't talk about stuff like that like its nothing. They both have some issues. I would suggest talking him into therapy, if not, you might want to consider just ending it with him b/c these issues pop up over and over. On a radio show the doctor host asked people who had been abused to write in about whether they think "regular" people should get into relationships with people who had been abused or molested. Almost all of the people who wrote in said no b/c the issues are too damaging to the person and the relationship. Just a thought, but no its not normal.
2006-12-22 08:38:53 · answer #3 · answered by Princess~C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to your husband about how you feel, but these things happened a long time ago. When two people go through something like that, it is bound to make them close because they share that experience and they had to be supportive of each other because of it. It is a part of their lives and they are bound to bring it up, especially if they are siblings that speak openly with each other, which sounds like the case. Don't get too freaked, unless he tells you that he still has sexual interests for his sister. That is when there should be cause for concern.
2006-12-22 08:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by Nuts 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, let's be absolutely clear here: are you saying you're jealous of his sister?
No matter if their relationship is right, wrong, or indifferent, his sister isn't going away. You get to choose your friends, you can stop talking to an ex, but family is stuck. Talk to him and her privately about exactly what kind of relationship they have now, and decide if you can deal with that. If you can't, there's no shame in that, but don't try to change them, just leave.
I have a brother that I am very close to, but we never did anything sexual. In my experience, close brother and sisters are less likely to do that kind of thing than more distant ones.
2006-12-22 08:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its odd that the sister should talk abt it. Does the sister date lots of boys?(did your boyfriend date lots of girls before you?).
They are both in their late 20's and neither has married...(?)..does this mean anything do you think...ie is there some unresolved issues?
I would hesitate to tie my life up with this man. There is something wrong when they don't see that their behaviour was abnormal, and as adults they should recognise that by now.
2006-12-22 10:55:39 · answer #6 · answered by xyz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...er, WOW!
You are going to have to come between your husband and his sister. You know what I'm thinking, the same as you and everyone else that has read this question.
Brothers and sisters are not so close as to sleep with one another. For a start, it's against the law. Moral implications aside!
This has to stop immediately, and you are the one that is going to have to do the stopping.
God only knows how you gonna broach this one!
I think maybe, you and him are going to have to sit down together.
You HAVE to tell him your concerns. Gauge his reaction as to what you should do next.
2006-12-22 08:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by Moorglademover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW.. they need some deep counsiling to say the least.Thats a mess for sure.I have 5 brothers all older and i can assure you that sex isnt something we talked about much less did together.
2006-12-22 11:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by G M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend and his sister were sexually abused.
They have not acknowledged this and have chosen to deal with it in an abnormal way. They talk about it casually because they have erased the pain and horror of the situation out of their mind.
They both need counselling. It is likely that your boyfriend's sister is promiscuous and so is your boyfriend.
Do you really want to be entangled in a warped relationship held together by sexual abuse?
2006-12-22 09:30:45 · answer #9 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They must be from Alabama. And I am sure they have had sex more times than that. If you have a kid for some guy who doesn't see a problem with sleeping with his sister I feel bad for that child and its' future. But I bet that is one crazy @ss mobile home park you folks must live in.
2006-12-23 01:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my, it does sound like they are just a bit too close even for brother and sister. Are you ready for what you have stepped into because it sounds like some emotional upheaval about to start between you and the SIL.
I will pray for you.
2006-12-22 08:38:11 · answer #11 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋